It didn't land with the cacophonous indignity of Grape Salad Gate, the 2014 online brouhaha stemming from the New York Times suggesting Minnesotans cherish a dish combining grapes, sour cream, and brown sugar each Thanksgiving. That ordeal was rooted in the pure absurdity of coastal elites ascribing a WTF menu item to our state's cultural and culinary heritage, failing to understand our flyover multitudes.
No, earlier this month, when the New York Times picked Zorbaz—the northern Minnesota chain of 11 lakeside party bars—as one of its "15 of Our Readers’ Favorite Pizza Places Around the World," the nod elicited a resounding... huh. In fact, the top-voted Reddit reaction to the news reads, “This is… surprising.” “Correction, zurprising,” counters another Redditor, a nod to Zorbaz’s dedicated bit of replacing every “s” with a “z.” (If you find the gimmick tiresome, buckle up baby.) Out of 285 comments on the NYT article, the three that address Zorbaz appear unenthused.
If anything, Minnesotans may have felt too understood—in what universe is the Times aware of, much less recommending, a hybrid pizza/Mexican joint that has become something of a cabin-culture institution since forming 55 years ago?
All credit goes to NYT reader Conor Rayl of Las Vegas, who specifically plugged The Lowden Zpecial (pepperoni, jalapeños, tomato-peanut butter sauce) at Zorbaz's Detroit Lakes location: "It’s the greatest Mexican-Italian pizza joint in the world. It is also right on the lake." Racket attempted to track down Rayl online but failed; we also reached out to Times journalist Eleanore Park, curious to hear how Zorbaz was plucked from among the submissions, but didn't hear back.
Zorbaz owner Tate Jansen tells the Detroit Lakes Tribune that he was “super excited” to see the NYT publicity. According to Jansen’s father, former Zorbaz co-owner Rick Jansen, The Lowden was created in the late ‘80s by a fellow named Kenny Lowden. (Tate’s uncle, the late Tom Hanson, launched the original Zorbaz inside a former Detroit Lakes candy store in 1969.)
"At the time, we were doing some experimenting [with flavors], because Kenny liked different things," the younger Jansen tells the DL Tribune. "I like peanut butter on hamburgers and hot dogs, and on toast, I like to mix in some sriracha [on the peanut butter toast]... [The Lowden] is pretty unique."
But how does The Lowden taste and, crucially, does it deserve the mantle of Top 15 worldwide pizza? Zorry to zay, but not zo much.
On Monday, our reporter was already embedded along the North Shore, meaning a visit to the McGregor Zorbaz only added an hour drive to his return trip home. At 5:05 p.m. on a weekday, the beachy, blue-collar establishment was popping. The friendly Zorbaz server had heard about the NYT buzz (“mostly on Facebook”), and hard-sold The Lowden as “pretty good, pretty good.” A large to-go Lowden plus 20% tip exceeded $40, putting the specialty pie into a price stratosphere well above your typical bar pizza.
And the pizza's taste did slightly exceed Heggie’s territory. The buttery, crackling crust was delightful, though the narrow triangular slices betray our regional preference for square cut. The jalapeños proved jar-caliber and the pepperoni tasted bag-caliber, while there was nothing distinguishable about the cheese; everything arrived pipin’ hot with a nice, oven-kissed char.
Which brings us to the marquee element, the peanut butter-tomato sauce. Muddy, clay-colored, and at times grainy, the sauce does, to its credit, deliver real notes of peanut butter.
My wife/dining companion uttered “Oh no… no, no, no” upon first bite, yet I managed to finish half the pizza over 18 hours, thus validating Tate Jansen’s observation that some customers are “a little hesitant to order it" due to the surprising ingredient mashup. And at this price point, it’s hard to muster a full-throated recommendation of The Lowden by itself.
But!
As you’ll hear from the Zorbaz experts below, paying for this pizza is also a passport to a northern Minnesota lifestyle, a more authentic, freshwater version of the Parrothead paradise popularized by the late Jimmy Buffett. Could I imagine pulling up dockside and crushing this odd peanut butter pizza and some pitchers of Mich Golden Light?
Abzolutely. I bet those flavors—and the memories of ‘em—would begin to taste like cabin country.
Shamefully, this lifelong Minnesotan author wasn't even aware of Zorbaz prior to the Gray Lady's national platforming. So Racket turned to our network of Up North correspondents to tap into what makes this Northland establishment so special.
John Reinan: Retired Star Tribune Greater Minnesota reporter
Heading to Zorbaz is as much a Minnesota lake ritual as firing up the outboard in search of walleye. I don’t think its food or beverages are any better than you can find at a dozen other places. But it’s lively and you’ll probably run into some people you know. It’s one of those places that we’ve just sort of agreed that we like, because why not?
Dana Wessel: 93X Half-Assed Morning Show DJ
I have long considered Zorbaz the happiest place on earth. The Disney World of northern Minnesota, if you will. Each of the 11 locations represent a piece of paradise where summer seemingly ever ends. I think one of the big reasons myself and so many others have such a strong attachment to Zorbaz is because of how special each visit is. Summer in Minnesota is short. The time most of us get to spend up north is even shorter. That makes every second worth cherishing. Zorbaz represents everything we love about a summer weekend. It’s a place where you can drive your boat up to, grab a cold one, enjoy the sun, bond with old friends while making new ones and completely leave life behind for a few beers or an entire weekend.
Megan Weisenberger: NYC-based, Fargo-raised strategist/Zorbaz enthusiast
When I think of Zorbaz, I think of the Minnesota lake version of La Dolce Vita. It’s a strange mishmash of people, most of whom are sunburned. Shoes and shirts are encouraged, but not really required. Everyone is welcome. Snobbiness is not. The menu is perfect and also makes no sense. There’s sort of a genteel, laidback frattiness to the entire establishment and a night at Zorbaz feels like the way life is supposed to be—eating a taco pizza with your friends, by the water, with no problemz whatzoever.
Em Cassel: Racket co-owner and lead food/drink reporter
Not once in the eight years I’ve lived in Minnesota has anyone ever said “Zorbaz” to me, but I’m in a car full of Minnesotans right now and just asked them if they knew about it—everybody knows it very well? One said, “I’ve been to Zorbaz twice in the last four weeks,” but added, “I have no idea how they got in there [the New York Times list]. It is not good.” Another said, “The pizza is zo-zo.” You people are full of surprises! Anyway I ate one of the slices you dropped off on my stoop for breakfast this morning, and for cold, foil wrapped slices… perfectly adequate! Not a ton of flavor there, but it sure is pizza.
Sean McPherson: Jazz88 DJ, musician, and co-founder of Trivia Mafia
Zorbaz pizza iz the ideal cabin pizza zituation. I zpend one weekend every year at Lake Lizzie and I alwayz zpend one afternoon/early evening of that weekend blizzed out, zunburnt, and enjoying nachoz, chicken wingz, and abzolutely ideal cabin za. The chicken wingz are just fine, but the nachoz and pizza are next level. We get pepperoni, the greaze lovingly cradlez in the little pepperoni pocketz. Zlice after Zlice. The zpot is always packed, walk around, go to a bar and buy a margarita. Buy your kidz a lemonade and hope they zhut up for awhile. They won't. Zhit. Buy another margarita. Have another zlice. Back to the cabin. One more zwim. One more zlice. Two more margaritas. Zweet dreamz.
