Keith Harris and Andy Sturdevant have been meeting for brunch on Saturday mornings for over a decade. The tradition began when they pledged to work out at the Midtown YWCA every weekend, and decided they deserved a reward after that. Somehow, the workout portion of this arrangement fell by the wayside. But they kept eating, and have probably hit about 30 new restaurants a year since then. And yet, despite each man’s savvy business sense, they have never turned their friendship ritual into salable content. Until now. Welcome to Brunch Buds.
Brunch Date 8.23: Minnesota State Fair
If you're looking for unique food recommendations this week, look elsewhere. But if you'd like to follow the adventures of two middle-aged weirdos accompanying a three-year-old to the fair, you've come to the right place.
Keith: This Brunch Buds is gonna be heavy on Buds and light on Brunch.
Andy: Which is fine. The State Fair is, as ever, the Great Exception to so many facets of life in this state.
Keith: Right? First, let's talk about our method of getting to the fair, which worked out FAIRLY well.
Andy: Yeah, man. Since the A-Line made its debut, I have never even considered another way of reaching the fair, except for a bike ride every few years.
Keith: This was my first time on a rapid transit bus, and I showed the driver my ticket like an absolute rube! But yes, we got dropped off right at the main gate.
And I learned that we have entered "black cat boyfriend" season from some fellow bus passengers. The young women I was eavesdropping on were happy to explain the phenomenon in terms I could barely understand (via The Summer I Turned Pretty).
Basically, Andy, golden retriever boyfriends (friendly, loyal) are OUT and black cat boyfriends (moody, distant) are IN. I asked, "Is that really the kind of boyfriend you're looking for?" and one woman said, "You never really look for a boyfriend, they just kind of turn up."
And this is all before we got to the fair!
Andy: Yeah, that's the kind of social interaction it's hard to make outside of fair season, because when else are you going to be crammed on public transportation with a bunch of people for whom transit buses are such a novelty that they don't seem to mind and even welcome casual interactions from nearby people?
It's like New York-levels of transit cramming with Midwest-levels of "Gee fella, what's your story." You get the best of both worlds. It'd be hard to handle every day all year, but for only 13 days a year? Yes, sign me up!
[Three-year-old Brunch Bud] Redacto was really feeling the lack of social inhibition. You know how quiet he is, usually, in mixed settings, but the bus was so loud and packed he felt empowered to scream M. Emmett Walsh's monologue the beginning of The Iron Giant the entire way. And no one noticed or cared!
The ride on the A-Line really is like stepping into a portal where all standard social cues are turned on their head, and logic takes a holiday.
Or, I should clarify, a fair-bound A-Line ride.
Keith: I'm sure an ordinary trip to Rosedale isn't quite as chummy.
This is kind of an obvious thing to say, but going to the fair with a kid really changes your plan of attack. I'm sure most people are familiar with it but it was a new experience for me.
Andy: Ha, yeah. The "plan of attack" becomes Antietam: The generals don't know what's going on, total confusion, sloppy improvisation.
I hope that's accurate. I just Googled "chaotic battles?" and that's what came up.
Keith: Gonna get angry letters from a lot of Civil War dads if not. And I do mean letters.
Andy: To paraphrase Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan until their three year old has to go to the bathroom." I will say, since attending with kid in tow, the fair becomes a lot less about eating food and more about aimless, free-floating spectacle.
Keith: Which is maybe as it should be? It was good to learn the Creative Activities building was a hit.
Andy: Yeah: lots of space to run around, lots of colorful objects of interest to a multigenerational pool of attendees, lots of interesting paper ephemera handcrafted by Civil War dads. "THE BLOODY CONFUSION OF ANTIETAM: A Collection of Stamps Commemorating the Eastern Theater of the American Civil War."
Keith: And then we found the perfect site for parents who don't want to spend money (and don't mind exposing their children to pro-corn propaganda, among other questionable ideological influences).
Andy: Yes—truly the only place in the entire State Fair where they pay you!
Keith: Kemp's Little Farm Hands.
Andy: That's the one. And like you said, pitched perfectly. The kids run through the entire agricultural process, from crop cultivation to sale at market, dressed up in cute li'l aprons, and at the end they get a company store dollar to spend on an ice cream sandwich, apple or juice box.
I would say the ice cream sandwich was judged to be a SCARF!
Keith: "Welcome to agricultural peonage, kid."
"Ethanol helps prevent air pollution."
Andy: Yes, big Ralph-Wiggum-wants-to-go-to-Bovine-University energy.
Keith: Also why was there so much tractor repair going on? There were TWO men fixing the little tractors the kids rode around on, and maybe a dozen waiting to be repaired!
Andy: Yes, the make-work tractor repair program for the grandpas! There's a section where the kids get to pedal a toy tractor around a track, and there's a station for all the busted tractors that need to be repaired. And there were some extremely happy grandpas just working away on fixing busted kiddie tractors.
I haven't seen so many sun-dappled, smiling grandpas fixing up tractors since the last time I visited the Museum of Russian Art.
And also, building on the body of knowledge relating to berry foraging from the Scarf!, Skip, Shrug guide, I noticed there was a raspberry bush in the middle of the tractor oval with some nice, ripe raspberries. So fair foragers take note, though I am not sure what the etiquette is on these things.
Keith: I'm sure a kid or two has gobbled down a few of those.
Andy: I hope so! Fresh raspberries are better than dogberries. They're a scarf!, too.
Keith: This is turning into a Brunch Buds in spite of itself.
Andy: Please note that in this supposedly State Fair food-themed column, my two State Fair food highlights are: 1) a free Kemp's ice cream sandwich; and 2) a raspberry bush in a kid's tractor circuit.
Keith: Maybe we should discuss what we actually ate.
Andy: We should. I just hate to disappoint everyone, though, because we actually ate so little.
Keith: One bucket of Mouth Trap cheese curds, one Turkey to Go sandwich, two orders of lumpia ... I think that's it? All solid choices, but nothing flashy!
Andy: What are your go-tos that we missed?
Keith: Dairy Barn malt for sure, egg roll on a stick, honey lemonade from the Ag building.
Andy: The curds and the turkey sandwich are my big two. You'd think the curds would lose some luster after so many years, especially because you can get fried cheese curds almost anywhere. But man, whatever magic they have in those oil vats accumulated over generations really does the trick.
Keith: It’s true, you can't duplicate that with a fresh fryer.
Andy: I was crushed that Redacto didn't want any curds or ube lumpia or big chunks of shredded turkey. But every generation has to discover their own fair foods.
Actually, he did request lemonade, and all of a sudden, you notice just how many lemonade stands there are everywhere. Like, every other food stall is serving lemonade and Pronto Pups. A shame we missed the honey lemonade.
Keith: That's true, he is a fiend for lemonade. Though the bun-buns and chickens made much more of an impression on him than any food.
Andy: We should clarify that we’re talking about the living bun-buns and chickens, although some of those were going to wind up as food. But the bun-buns and fancy chickens made an impression on me, too! Again, this is the multigenerational attraction of the fair: Because of the kids, you end up incorporating stuff into your routine that wasn't really on your radar before. I never messed much with the livestock before Redacto, but the fancy bun-buns are now like the core attraction for the whole State Fair.
Keith: It's kind of a joke around the office how little interest I have in animals of any kind, but even I was impressed with some of those rabbits.
Andy: The way their teenaged 4H bun-bun tenders interact with them is just heart-melting. Bun-buns are wondrous, strange-looking creatures. Or, I should clarify: Bun-buns are generally not strange looking, you see them every time you walk into a yard, but the fancy bun-buns are an entirely different story.
Keith: I'm so accustomed to neighborhood bunnies that the contrast is stunning. Maybe I'm starting to understand why people like animals?
Andy: "The State Fair’s mission is to educate and involve our guests," according to the State Fair website. See, you learned something about humanity at the State Fair, and we were both involved in the great mosaic of human experience. Their plan worked!
Keith: If there's one thing I like more than being educated, it's being involved.
Andy: If that’s not worth paying eight bucks for a lemonade, what is?
