Weed Weviews: 4 Things I Tried in October

Welcome to Weed Weviews, a verbal foible that’s become the very real name of this monthly column. Think of it like our Doin’ Beers series, but for weed. This month I tried some canned beverages and honey weed. All right, let's do this!

Inbound BrewCo.’s Satellite Tropical

About: You may know Inbound Brewing Co. for its North Loop brewpub just down the street from The Fillmore and Target Field. Now they're making weed drinks too. This 5 mg THC sparkling water beverage promises to “set you in a proper orbit.” We’ll see about that!

Where I got it: From Lake Wine & Spirits for about $8.

Flavor: Easy drinkin’. This tropical space bubbly tastes like pineapple-flavored Waterloo. 

Blast-off time: About 30 minutes.

Experience: Pretty mild, but it was there and enjoyable. I paid my bills, planned some weekend stuff, and organized some paperwork while drinking this, kinda like the weed equivalent of having a beer while getting something done. I definitely didn’t visit any planets. This is more like watching satellite footage of space on TV. 

Dankadance Canna Honey

About: “Made with raw, unpasteurized South Carolina wildflower honey infused with hemp-derived D9-THC using a liposomal infusion method.” OK! Sounds legit.

Where I got it: I’m pretty sure I got this from Hemp House, but I don’t see it in their inventory anymore. It looks like you can get a full honey bear-sized bottle from them directly for $34.99 these days. 

Flavor: I wasn’t sure how to best try this, so it sat on my kitchen shelf with the weed sugar I bought last summer for a bit. Eventually, I opted to toast a nice baguette, spread some quality butter on it, then drizzled the honey on top. And it was super tasty, just like the honey that comes in the classic honey bear bottle.

Blast-off time: 15ish minutes. 

Experience: So, the writing on the little bottle is small and I thought it said 5 mg per tablespoon. Nope! It was per teaspoon. I basically tripled the dose. And that’s what it takes to launch you into orbit, Inbound. This stuff does not play around and I would not recommend it to the easily spooked, but I did have a good time, even though when I rewatched superbad horror flick Malignant there were moments where I kinda took the movie seriously. That’s how strong this stuff is, guys. I also did a NY Times Sunday crossword like it was nothing, so it might make you smart.

Flora Cannacocktails’ Blueberry “Moscow Mule”

About: Two Chicago bartenders launched this NA bevvy company around 2019. Eventually they added CBD-infused mixers and canned cocktails to their lineup, and a few years ago they came out with THC+CBD selections.

Where I got it: At Marigold for $6.

Flavor: Delicious! The can tells me the blueberries were picked fresh from Michigan, and it actually tastes like it. There’s a mild sweetness here like you get with a real piece of fruit. The ginger adds a nice spark to the back end of each sip, too. I don’t know that this tastes like a blueberry Moscow mule—it’s more like a blueberry smoothie or fancy juice—but I’m not complaining.

Blast-off time: About 45 minutes. But I also felt like it lasted longer than the average 5 mg drink, which probably has to do with the 10 mg of CBD in it.

Experience: I felt energetic while hanging with friends (I will credit the THC and fruit here) but cozy when it came time to head to bed (probably the CBD). 

Milonga’s Cannabis Infused Yerba Mate

About: Milonga is a Miami-based, company specializing in organic products from South America, focusing on Yerba mate and CBD. They recently launched a line of energy drinks with 10 mg of THC and CBD per can.

Where I got it: Also at Marigold, I think for around $8.

Flavor: The sparkling peach ginger is… interesting. It starts off with an oddly medicinal flavor, like yellow Triaminic, morphs into a honey-tinged, gingery weed taste, and finishes with a bitter eucalyptus aftertaste that reminds me of Campho-phenique or some other old-school gum-numbing stuff people use for teething/tooth pains.  

Blast-off time: 15-20ish minutes.

Experience:  I like Yerba mate and drink it sometimes, but I’ve never had it with CBD or THC. One can is supposed to be the equivalent of a can of coffee, which feels about right. That said, I felt more caffeinated than high. But there’s a time and place for that; I think next time I'll try a less adventurous flavor combo.