Welcome to Weed Weviews, a verbal foible that’s become the very real name of this monthly column. Think of it like our Doin’ Beers series, but for weed.
Alright! Let's do this!
Doctor Dabs Cajun Seasoning
About: That’s a real dude on the packaging of these products and he’s a real doctor. According to the website, owner Dr. Clemon Dabney has a PhD in “cannabis molecular genetics and genomics” from the U of M, among other degrees. The good Dr. sells a variety of THC and CBD products, including maple candies, teas, soda, and seasonings.
Where I got it/price: $24.99 online.
Flavor: Tasty! And surprisingly easy to use. I added the recommended single-serving scoop to half an avocado, which I mashed up and dumped on a salad—and it was really good. It’s got a smokey paprika taste that makes you want to rub it on fish or chicken and head to the grill. The cayenne pepper was a nice surprise, too, warming my tongue and chest a bit as I ate.
The spice blends come in southwest, BBQ, jerk, and Nashville hot chicken flavors as well.
Blast-off time: About 10 minutes.
Experience: This was very nice and mild. The THC didn’t hit me, it wrapped me in a warm blanket that kept me cozy, but not drowsy or overheated, for a good hour. I’m definitely going to try this stuff on shrimp and pastas.
Stoneover? Naw.
Retro Bakery’s Chocolate Crispy Rice Treat
About: According to the site, this father-and-son business was “Minnesota’s first legal THC chocolate.”
Where I got it/price: $24.99 online (though it’s currently sold out).
Flavor: I really like Retro Bakery’s stuff, but this one was a dud. I was hoping for a stoner take on the mass produced Kellogg’s treat, but this ain’t it. The chocolate was stale in an Advent calendar kind of way, and the marshmallowed crispies didn’t have much flavor either.
Blast-off time: 20-ish minutes.
Experience: The taste may have been stale, but the THC was still hella fresh! Each package contains two bars that you’re supposed to split four ways, so there are eight 5 mg dosages here. I threw caution to the wind and ate about half a bar at around 10 mg, which knocked me on my ass for about 10 minutes (aka an eternity in weed time) before I went back to a more normal high. But a few moments of overthinking things while watching bad Netflix shows never hurt anyone (that I know of).
Stoneover? Yeah, definitely a little.
Minx’s Pornstar Martini
About: I’m not 100% sure, but based on the info on the can it looks like this drink is made by Beverage Equity Group, a northeast Minneapolis THC drink manufacturer that makes things for clients as well as in-house products.
As for the mocktail, apparently the Pornstar Martini is a real drink that you can order at a bar, and the Brits love it. Wiki tells me it was a created in 2002 by a London bar owner, and is one of the most popular drink orders in the U.K. To make it, you mix passion fruit juice with vanilla vodka, Passoã (passion fruit liqueur), and lime juice, and serve it in a martini glass with a shot of prosecco on the side like a beer back. Classy!
Where I got it/price: $24.99 online.
Flavor: Syrupy with a bit of metallic tang at the end. If you like Red Bull vodkas you might love this. You will definitely love this if you happen to be a hummingbird. It tastes like tropical candy made with cane sugar.
Blast-off time: 20-ish minutes.
Experience: One can is 10 mg, but it’s so sweet that I stopped halfway through and just had the “recommended” dosage, which was enough for a pleasant after -work buzz I could enjoy while making dinner.
Stoneover? Nope.
Sour Tangie Sativa Gummies
About: These little buddies are an in-house brand at local THC sellers Nothing But Hemp.
Where I got it/price: $24.99 on sale at Nothing But Hemp.
Flavor: Delicious. These actually taste like a slightly tart but juicy tangerine. Sell these without the drugs in them!
Blast-off time: 30-ish minutes.
Experience: A classic gummy ride: Blast off in 30, be relaxed for an hour, drink some tea, go to bed.
Stoneover? No.
