Welcome back to The Weedeater, Racket’s column exploring the exciting world of cooking with cannabis. In each installment, I walk you through a tasty new cannabis-based recipe with foolproof instructions to make it yourself. Some are fast and easy. Others, elaborate and oh so very dumb. But all are delicious and leave you feeling real nice. With that, let’s get cooked!
Stoned Martha’s Cookies
Last year at the Minnesota State Fair, I was so appalled by one of the new foods that I made my own weeded-up version of it. And although this year’s new foods were somehow even more of a letdown than last year’s, I have zero interest in trying to make the pickle pie palatable or potent. That thing can go straight to hell where it belongs. Instead, I decided to set my sights on the consistently most overrated food at the fair: Sweet Martha’s cookies.
That’s right, I’m choosing violence for this year’s post-fair Weedeater.
My biggest issue with this cherished State Fair staple is that they’re overly sweet and under cooked. They’re also churned out so quickly that they aren’t given time to properly cool until they’re already in the bucket, leading them to all just meld into a cloyingly sweet ball of half-cooked cookie dough. That said, if you buy a tub of the dough and bake them properly at home, you’ll end up with a perfectly fine little chocolate chip cookie.
Now, as with most things in life, they can certainly be improved with a little bit of weed. But not too much! Since Sweet Martha’s are made to be eaten by the handful, I wanted these Stoned Martha’s to be as well so they couldn’t be too potent. I also wanted to mimic the “gooeyness” of Sweet Martha’s without them being undercooked. After many, many test batches (and several quite stoned nights melted into the couch), I’m happy to say I’ve finally achieved the perfect little weed cookie.
For our infusion technique on this one, we’re taking a page out of Vanessa Lavorato’s cryptically-named book How to Eat Weed and Have a Good Time. I highly recommend picking that book up if you’re interested in cooking with weed, which you probably are if you’re reading my silly little recipes. While most cannabutter methods take multiple hours to infuse, Lavorato’s only takes 30 minutes, and the results are just as good, if not better, than other methods. Hers is also unique in that it draws on her experience as a chocolatier by only infusing half of the full amount of butter and tempering it with cold cubed butter at the end to cool it down faster and re-emulsify everything back together.
Alright, enough science talk. Let’s get baked-ing.
Here’s what you’re gonna need.
For the cannabutter:
- 240 grams butter, preferably Irish (about two sticks plus one tablespoon)
- 1–4 grams cannabis flower or trim*
- 2 tablespoons water
*Trim is all the small leaves and buds that get discarded during the trimming process. Ask your friends who grow their own weed if they have some to spare.
For the cookies:
- 226 grams cannabutter, melted and cooled to a gel consistency (weigh your cannabutter and make up the difference with regular butter if necessary)
- 210 grams brown sugar
- 100 grams granulated sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 egg yolk
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract or paste
- 240 grams all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
- 250 grams mini chocolate chips
Here’s what you’re gonna do.
- Infuse your butter. Grind the cannabis flower or trim and decarb it following the same method we used in step one of the Deviled’s Lettuce Eggs recipe. Set up a double boiler like we did in step three of the Chocolate-Dipped Strawberry Dipped Chocolate Strawberries recipe. Bring the water in the bottom to a simmer. Cube up all the butter but put half of it back in the fridge for now. In the bowl of the double boiler, gently melt the rest of the butter to 190 degrees. Add the water and the decarbed weed and stir vigorously for about 15–20 seconds to combine. Place a lid on the bowl to minimize evaporation and let it infuse for 30 minutes. Stir every five minutes for about 15 seconds and replace the lid each time. Strain the butter through your finest mesh sieve. Using a rubber spatula, press the cannabis into the sieve to squeeze every last drop of liquid greenish-gold. While the butter is still hot, stir in the cold reserved butter cubes until all the butter fully melts into a cohesive, creamy mixture that resembles melted butter. Set aside to cool.
- Make the dough. Sift the flour into a bowl and whisk together with baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together both sugars. When the cannabutter has cooled to a gel consistency (it’ll look like a nice lemon curd), pour it into the sugar bowl and whisk vigorously for about two minutes until the mixture is nice and glossy. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla, and whisk until combined. Time to mix your dries with your wets. Dump everything from the flour bowl into the sugarbutter bowl and mix with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon until just combined. Stir in the mini chocolate chips until they are well-incorporated but try not to overmix as it makes the cookies tough (as in hard to chew, not strong and brave). Slap some plastic wrap over the top of the dough and pop it in the fridge for at least two hours.
- LICK! THAT! SPOON! Yes, there’s a raw egg and an egg yolk in there. Yes, everything in the food industrial complex is actively trying to kill us because there’s a brain-eating worm running the FDA. Yes, you should lick the spoon anyway. You earned it. Plus, you have at least two hours before you can get high via cookie so you might as well get a head start.
- Make the cookies. Preheat an oven to 375 degrees. Line a sheet tray with parchment paper and retrieve your chilled dough from the fridge. Using a teaspoon, make tiny cookie dough balls and place them on the parchment paper. Leave about an inch between each.
- Bake and be baked. Bake the cookies for exactly six-and-a-half minutes and let them rest for exactly 10 minutes on the tray before you start scarfing. They should look slightly underdone in the middle but lightly crisped around the edges. This recipe makes a ton of little cookies and like their state fair sistren, they’re made to be eaten by the handful so dose accordingly. Your results will vary based on the cannabis you use but as a reference, I infused my cannabutter with 4 grams of flower and I clock each little cookie at around 4–5 mg. If you’re looking for a lower dose, use less cannabis or cut the butter in the cookie recipe with more non-cannabis butter. Either way, you’re in for a real treat and a very nice time with these cookies.
Or, you can take the easy way out.
Aside from just making the aforementioned store bought Sweet Martha’s cookies and taking a bong rip after each bite, I’m not sure there’s really an easy way out of this one. That said, this recipe kicks ass with or without weed, so you could always just make the cookies without taking the extra steps of infusing the butter. Then, you can optionally take a bong rip after each bite. But this infusion method is very straightforward, easy, and fast. Including decarbing the weed, making the cannabutter only takes one very hands-off hour so I assure you, you got this.
Well, that’s all for this one. See you next time when we explore another very fun method of making cannabutter!
