Welcome back to The Weedeater, Racket’s column exploring the exciting world of cooking with cannabis. Each month, I walk you through a tasty new cannabis-based recipe with foolproof instructions to make it yourself. Some are fast and easy. Others, elaborate and oh so very dumb. But all are delicious and leave you feeling real nice. With that, let’s get cooked!
Cannabiscuits and Wavy Gravy
Last week, I found out I’m soon getting laid off from a job I don’t really like. To celebrate, I ventured out to the suburbs to the home of a fellow soon-to-be-axed coworker, who has an impressively well-stocked basement bar. It was a great night, but the next morning was excruciating. I had the type of hangover that could only be cured by two things: weed and a heaping helping of biscuits and gravy.
Since my company keeps framing its layoffs as “efficiency measures,” I figured I’d add the weed directly to my biscuits and gravy. Now, that’s what I call efficiency!
Anytime I make a nice B&G at home, I always follow J. Kenji Lopez-Alt’s cream biscuit method. It’s way easier and faster than a traditional buttermilk biscuit and tastes just as good, in my opinion. They’re a little less flaky, but seeing as we’re slobbing a bunch of gravy on top of them, flakiness doesn’t matter much here.
Just as we did for our THC Tiramisu, we’ll be infusing some heavy cream for this recipe. This time around I opted to only use infused cream rather than cut it with some non-infused cream. The result definitely kicked my hangover to the curb, but it also kept my partner and I quite high for about 12 full hours and made for a hell of an unproductive Saturday! For my batch, I infused the cream with 3 grams of cannabis for the full 30 minutes, so dose with that information what you will. If you’re looking to still get a good high but also not binge the entire first season of Beef in one sitting and barely remember any of it, I’d recommend infusing 1 gram for 15 minutes. If you want an even lower dosage, you can always sub some of the infused cream with some regular stuff.
OK, let’s make some breakfast!
Here’s what you’re gonna need.
For the infused cream:
- 400 grams (about 14 oz) heavy whipping cream
- 1–3 grams cannabis flower or trim*
*Trim is all the small leaves and buds that get discarded during the trimming process. Ask your friends who grow their own weed if they have some to spare.
For the biscuits:
- 150 grams (about 1 cup) all purpose flour
- 5 grams baking powder
- 3 grams kosher salt
- 150 grams (about 2/3 cup) infused cream
For the gravy:
- 120–170 grams (about 4–6 ounces) bulk breakfast sausage
- 1 tablespoon all purpose flour
- 240 grams (about 1 cup) infused cream
- A few dashes of hot sauce
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Optional: 1 or more packets Dr. Dabs Cajun and/or Nashville Hot seasoning
Here’s what you’re gonna do.
- Infuse your cream. Decarb your weed following the same method we used in step one of the Deviled’s Lettuce Eggs recipe. As a reminder, decarbed weed stays good for a while, so I recommend decarbing more than you’ll use for this recipe so future you has some extra on hand in case you too find yourself needing to efficiently ward off a hangover some morning. Lightly crush or tear the decarbed weed but don’t fully grind it. Set up a double boiler like we did in step three of the Chocolate-Dipped Strawberry Dipped Chocolate Strawberries recipe. Bring the water in the bottom to a simmer. In the top, combine the heavy cream and the decarbed weed. Let the cream, cannabis, and nutmeg cook gently for 15–30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Strain the infused cream through a fine mesh sieve into a clean jar and let it cool before chilling in the fridge for at least four hours or the freezer for 30 minutes.
- Make the biscuits. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together to combine. Pour 150 grams of infused cream into the bowl and mix using a hard rubber spatula. It should come together fairly quickly into a shaggy dough. Form the dough into a log that’s about 3x9 inches. Cut the dough log into three equal biscuits. Plop the biscuits onto a sheet tray and pop it in the oven for about 15 minutes or until golden brown. Optionally, you can brush the tops with additional cream to help with that browning.
- All aboard the gravy train. Over on the stove, get a medium skillet or pan preheating over medium/high heat. Brown the breakfast sausage, breaking it apart as it cooks. When it’s fully cooked, sprinkle a tablespoon of all purpose flour over the top. Feel free to add in a bit of butter if your sausage is looking a little on the dry side. Stir the sausage together with the flour and let cook for 1–2 minutes before slowly whisking in the infused cream. Start with a few tablespoons at a time and make sure it’s fully incorporated before adding more to avoid lumps. Because no one wants a lumpy gravy no matter how much weed is in it. When all the cream has been added, let the gravy simmer over medium/low heat for 5–10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Mix in the hot sauce, salt and pepper, and Dr. Dabs if using. If the gravy is too thick, you can either add more cream or milk to thin it out. If it’s too thin, let it simmer and keep reducing until it reaches your desired consistency.
- Assemble and scarf! OK, let’s turn our biscuits and gravy into biscuits AND gravy. Cut a biscuit in half and place each side on a plate, cut side up. Spoon a generous pile of gravy over the top of both biscuit halves and top with a sprinkling of freshly cut chives. You mustn’t forget the chives! Scarf it down and watch as your hangover and any plans you have for the day both melt away.
Or, you can take the easy way out.
The easiest way to make this one easier is to forgo infusing the cream and simply adding a few packets of Dr. Dabs to the gravy. That will of course result in a lower dosed plate of B&G—nothing a few quick bong rips can’t fix. Or, since the biscuits and the gravy both freeze pretty well, you could take the hard route just this once and make a double or triple batch of the full recipe. Then, just freeze the extras so you can take the easy way out in the future. Think of it like stoner meal prepping!
Well, that’s all for this one. See you next time! And please, let me know if you have any leads on some copywriting or creative director jobs.
Obviously, no drug tests.
