Reports: Hegseth’s Job Security as Blurry and Unstable as His Saturday Nights

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily digest of important, overlooked, and/or interesting Minnesota news stories.

Hegseth Cooked?

In retrospect, choosing an (allegedly) alcoholic, (allegedly) adulterous, (accused) sexual assaulter who worked weekends for Fox News to lead the Pentagon was... a gamble, to put it mildly. Pete Hegseth is reportedly enduring a "month from hell," according to sources within the department. "It’s hard to see Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth remaining in his role for much longer," former Pentagon PR guy John Ullyot wrote Sunday for Politico.

Last week Hegseth fired three of his top staffers as leaks spilled out to the press; Hegseth's chief of staff, Joe Kasper, bailed that same day; and on Sunday the New York Times reported that Hegseth maintained another Signal group chat—this one separate from the similar scandal The Atlantic exposed last month—where he'd been sharing war secrets with his wife and brother.

Hegseth downplayed his various blunders to the press at Sunday's White House Easter event, stating, "This is what the media does, they take anonymous sources from disgruntled former employees, and then they try to slash and burn people, ruin their reputation. It's not going to work with me." While anonymous sources are indeed saying the White House is actively working to replace Hegseth, Trump comms honcho Karoline Leavitt swears via Twitter they're keeping their curiously tattooed, hard-drinking dude in charge of the U.S. war machine.

Elsewhere on Twitter, you gotta give it up for this DISGUSTING dig the Dems took at Forest Lake, Minnesota's booziest and most powerful export...

MN Republicans Introduce Bill to Ban mRNA Vaccines While Rebranding Them as "Weapons of Mass Destruction"

The Minnesota Reformer's Chris Ingraham flagged a fun one today over on Bluesky: Eight deeply serious Republican state lawmakers—Reps. Shane Mekeland (Big Lake), Krista Knudsen (Park Rapids), Isaac Schultz (Sauk Rapids), Pam Altendorf (Red Wing), Keith Allen (Faribault), Tom Murphy (Ottertail), Jeff Dotseth (Moose Lake), and Walter Hudson (Albertville)—introduced a bill that would reclassify mRNA vaccines as "as weapons of mass destruction."

Their dumbass bill continues: "Whoever knowingly manufactures, acquires, possesses, or makes readily accessible to another mRNA injections and products is guilty of a crime" that's punishable by up to 20 years in prison. As Ingraham notes, the legislation doesn't have a prayer, though its very existence is instructive when sizing up the priorities of today's conservative movement. Boiled down to its core: owning the libs > everything.

Jaw-droppingly stupid? You bet. But this shouldn't really come as a surprise. Back in March, a group of Minnesota Republicans—including one future/alleged sex criminal—joined their inconsiderable brain power together to cook up a go-nowhere bill that would've classified "Trump Derangement Syndrome" as a mental illness. From the White House social feeds all the way down to the Minnesota Legislature, this is the party of grievance-pilled trolls whose minds have been fried to an absolute crisp by social media and cable news. God help us all.

River Report: Mississippi in Trouble

Each year environmental advocacy org American Rivers publishes its unenviable "Most Endangered Rivers" list, and unfortunately the No. 1 spot this year belongs to the "Mighty" Mississippi River, which as you know begins its path to the Gulf of Mexico (won't say it!!!) way up in Lake Itasca. The biggest threats facing our big river? Increased flooding and inadequate disaster prevention and response, according to the list. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has vowed to “eliminate FEMA," because, well, who needs federally coordinated disaster relief anyway? Writes American Rivers…

The Mississippi is “America’s River,” flowing through the nation’s heartland, providing drinking water for 20 million people and supporting vital agriculture, industry, and recreation. But frequent and severe floods are threatening lives and businesses, while the river’s health declines. Communities along the river need significant support for disaster prevention and response, as well as river restoration—but the fate of the lead federal agency, FEMA, hangs in the balance. The Trump administration should modernize FEMA to improve river health and maximize the safety, security, and prosperity of Mississippi River communities.

Not mentioned in the troubled river roundup blurb is pollution, though when the Mississippi placed sixth on the American Rivers list in 2022, that was the culprit. Here in the Twin Cities the river's water quality has "improved dramatically over the last century," according to the Mississippi Watershed, but nitrates, chlorides, and other contaminants still pose major risks. (Ex-MinnPoster Greta Kaul addressed whether it's safe to swim in a few years back.) And there's always the encroaching terror of flyin' invasive carp to worry about.

Prince Died 9 Years Ago Today

Man, crying-dove-like, time sure does fly. Minneapolis-launched music superstar Prince Rogers Nelson died nine years ago today from an accidental fentanyl overdose inside his Paisley Park compound in Chanhassen. He was 57.

To remember The Purple One we encourage you to bump the hell outta his music via the streamer of your choice, something the streamer-averse legend would've hated—so it goes. In addition to that, please revisit this expansive City Pages cover story we rushed to the presses the week of Prince's death, plus these nationally published doozies from our Keith Harris: "How Prince Changed Minneapolis" for Pitchfork and "Minneapolis In Mourning" for Rolling Stone.

Take us out, you outrageously talented lil fella!