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Report: Vikings Eat a Shitload of Uncrustables, a (Disputed) MN Invention

Plus recapping Justin Sutherland's legal woes, trans health care in MN, and promising train figures in today's Flyover news roundup.

Smucker's

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily digest of important, overlooked, and/or interesting Minnesota news stories.

Vikings: Fueled by Uncrustables

This highly amusing new investigation from The Athletic contains two locally angled bombshells. First, apparently the Uncrustable was invented by Len Kretchman in Fergus Falls, Minnesota, thus making the foodstuff an under-heralded Minnesota invention. (Other sources indicate they were invented in Fargo, North Dakota, but we'll trust The Athletic's reporting here.) Second, the Minnesota Vikings eat staggering amounts of Uncrustables, though not nearly as much as some teams; the crux of the Athletic story is that the crustless pocket sandwich is taking the NFL by storm.

Feast on this incredible collection of sentences from Kretchman, reflecting on his PB&J innovation...

We’re not recreating the atomic bomb here. We’re trying to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich… It was two people standing there, goofing off, probably having a beer and a glass of wine and saying, ‘What do you think of this?' The moon is round, the sun is round, the Earth is round, it’s our favorite shape. Do you have to go to a committee and survey people on what the shape should be? No. It’s round. So we got that nailed down.

In 1999, a few years after Kretchman and biz partner David Geske cooked up the Uncrustable, the buddies sold their company to Smucker's for $1 million, Fast Company reports. (FC also gives Fargo credit... we're sticking with Fergus Falls for provincial purposes!) Today, the brand is worth nearly $1 billion.

Which brings us to the present day, and the figure you've all been waiting for: The Minnesota Vikings consume around 200 Uncrustables per week, per "information collected" by the The Athletic. The sports website estimates that NFL players house "at least 80,000" (emphasis theirs) Uncrustables per year, with the Broncos leading the pack by a country mile at 700 (!) per week.

For way, way, way more on the PB&J consumption habits of pro football's very large men, click here. And never forget: Minnesota Timberwolves legend Kevin Garnett helped spark the "NBA's secret addiction" to that genre of sandwich, as ESPN reported in 2017.

Bad Week for (Allegedly) Bad Celeb Chef

Earlier this week, local chef Justin Sutherland pled guilty to domestic violence charges stemming from a June incident in which he allegedly threatened a woman with a gun. Sutherland told the Star Tribune's Paul Walsh that he was "fully prepared to go to trial, but I did not want to give you media vultures the circus you were hoping for."

Haha yeah dude, no, for sure. Blame the media, right, the same folks who propped up your every project, from Handsome Hog to the overpriced egg sandwich chain. We'll be over here remembering how, after your 2022 boating accident, literally every single outlet in town shared your GoFundMe, helping you raise more than $275,000. I'm sure all those folks are thrilled that you choked and threatened to shoot someone (allegedly, allegedly), meaning they had to publicly dissolve their partnerships with you and whatnot. Vultures. Hope you had some donations left over for your lawyers.

Sutherland's plea deal would set aside his 360-day sentence in favor of two years’ probation, 100 hours of community service, and a chemical dependency evaluation, with his sentencing scheduled for December. But then, on Thursday, Sutherland was arrested again, this time for allegedly violating a no-contact order, according to KARE 11's Felicity Dachel. He was arrested—outside of a Spirit Halloween!—on suspicion of gross misdemeanor violation of protection order, per St. Paul Police, and now new charges will be determined by the Ramsey County Attorney’s Office.

Meet the Doctors Increasing Trans Care Accessibility in MN

The ACLU is currently tracking 530 anti-LGBTQ+ bills across the U.S. That includes efforts to censor curricula, forced outings in schools, and banning gender-affirming care for youth. Meanwhile, Minnesota has blossomed into something of a trans-rights sanctuary. In this piece from NPR, Selena Simmons-Duffin speaks with the medical professionals working to make trans health care the best it can be in our state—for Minnesota patients and for many from other, more restrictive places.

“Just for our small clinic, we saw over 200 people from out-of-state,” Family Tree executive director Annie Van Avery says of last year’s numbers. That can put a strain on overworked clinics as well as patients who must travel for care and fight insurance agencies for coverage. One way to increase access is through programs that train more providers. Family Tree’s Midwest Trans Health Education Network, Simmons-Duffin writes, has “trained about 50 health care providers from all over the region, including in rural areas.” 

“You have two choices, you can get scared and say, ‘I don't know if we can do that,’” says Family Tree Clinics’ Dr. Kelsey Leonardsmith. “Or you can take a deep breath and say, we know the work we do. We've looked at the research. We've been doing this for a long time now, and we are doing good work—our patients cry tears of joy in this building.”

Chugging Right Along: Borealis Trains Hit 100K Riders

Amtrak and state officials from Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois issued a press release Thursday celebrating "overwhelming public interest" in the new Borealis line connecting St. Paul and Chicago. Since launching 22 weeks ago, the trains have attracted 100,000 riders. “Reaching 100,000 passengers in less than six months is a testament to the good things that can happen when we provide a service that is needed," Minnesota Transportation Commissioner Nancy Daubenberger says. She ain't wrong! Now, should the U.S. invest in desperately needed high-speed rail, instead of falling behind the rest of the world? We sure think so, but nobody asked us. Anyway, among those 100K early Borealis passengers: Racket's Keith Harris, whose travelogue you can—and should—read below.

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