My now-husband Mike and I moved in together straight out of college, when our cooking skills could be generously described as “burgeoning.” Case in point: We mixed up our garlic terminology and added an entire head to a recipe that called for just one clove.
The most embarrassing part of this anecdote? We didn't realize our mistake. We continued cooking in this manner for at least a month, inadvertently increasing the amount of garlic in every recipe tenfold. The “a-ha” moment was when we used three entire heads of garlic in a pasta recipe that fed four. The sauce was so astringent that we finally Googled “clove of garlic” and realized our error. Then we ate every bite.
Last weekend’s Minnesota Garlic Festival was made for garlic freaks like us. Held at the McLeod County Fairgrounds in Hutchinson, Minnesota, about an hour and 15 minutes west of downtown Minneapolis, the annual event is a fundraiser for the Crow River chapter of the Sustainable Farming Association and is made possible by over 100 volunteers. Obviously there are plenty of garlicky concessions, as well as cooking demos, live music, kids activities, artisan vendors, and a garlic-growing contest.
There was a short line of cars when we rolled up to the entrance around 11:30 a.m. on August 15. A volunteer checked the tickets I had pre-purchased online and waved us in with a cheery “Have a great-smelling day!” Additional volunteers directed us through the rapidly filling lots, and once parked, we joined the crowd streaming into the fairgrounds. The sheer number of Garlic Festival attendees contradicts the jokes I’ve been hearing all my life about the bland food preferences of white Midwesterners.
Once inside the festival grounds, we were treated to a celebrity sighting of Gertie the Garlic Bulb, described (accurately!) in the official program as “a guy with a huge garlic bulb on his head.” The Narren of New Ulm, a masked, costumed troupe inspired by German folk traditions, were nearby doing a line dance to a zippy German pop song. Giant puppets from In the Heart of the Beast roamed the grounds. The smell of barbecue and kettle corn wafted through the air. It was weird and wonderful, and it was also time to start eating.
Food and drink vendors offered a respectable array of lunch options, from a whole spatchcocked rabbit with garlic aioli to momo. After some perusing, Mike got a garlic Reuben and I opted for fried rice. Both were tasty, but not, by our standards, particularly garlicky. We started to panic. Were our palates too garlic-jaded for the Garlic Festival?
Luckily, our spirits and taste buds were buoyed by a bag of roasted garlic kettle corn from Auntie Wendy’s Kettle Corn, which had a pronounced but mellow garlic flavor and a satisfying hint of sweetness. As we munched, we watched culinary instructor Shelagh Geraghty Mullen demo a garlic confit recipe while offering tips about choosing garlic (make sure there’s some heft to the bulb, you don’t want it to be too dried out). The presentation ended with samples of garlic mashed potatoes which seemed to be about 50 percent garlic and 50 percent potato—the perfect ratio.
Since we’re longtime fans of St. Joseph’s Jupiter Moon Ice Cream, we joined a long queue to purchase their two special Garlic Fest flavors, Wildberry Garlic Swirl and Chili Mango Garlic. I got plenty of vibrant fruit notes but couldn’t detect any garlic, but Mike thought there was a savory undertone. I blame the garlic mashed potatoes for blowing out my palate.
We finished our ice cream just in time for the festival’s headlining entertainment: the Peculiar Pragmatic Promenade, which promised to “perambulate the perimeter of the premises at precisely 1:37 p.m.” The procession was kicked off by who else but Gertie the Garlic Bulb, followed by volunteers carrying a Garlic Fest banner, Heart of the Beast puppets, the Narren, and assorted children who wanted to be in a parade. A flamenco group brought up the rear of the low-key spectacle, with one of the members shaking a maraca with one hand and holding a cup of coffee in the other.
Garlic Fest is thoughtfully designed to be family-friendly. Besides marching in a parade, kids can make garlic-themed crafts, assemble and fly kites, and get their faces painted. The fairgrounds have a nice playground, and there’s plenty of grassy space for kids to get their wiggles out—I watched a toddler running around gleefully with a temporary Gertie the Garlic tattoo adorning her tiny bicep.
For adults, there’s a vendor marketplace featuring the sorts of things you’d expect at a farmers market and/or co-op: handmade soap, pottery, CBD products, meditation bowls, gluten-free vegan baked goods, jams, jewelry, and artisan cheese. A few public service tables promoted worthy causes like composting and sustainable farming. The busiest vendor was the official Garlic Fest merch table, with stacks of t-shirts in various colors. I bought the last pink one in my size, to the dismay of the woman browsing next to me. “Next year, you’ve got to get here when we open at 10 for the best selection,” the volunteer staffing the booth advised her. “It’s really picked over this late in the day.” It was 2 p.m.
Mike and I toasted my shopping luck with a pair of refreshing garlic ginger lemonade smoothies from Jitterbug, The Local Blend’s coffee trailer. Then we headed over to the Garlic Growers Building, which highlights the farmers who make all the garlicky goodness possible. Home gardeners can even get help from a professional at the Peanuts-style “The Garlic Grower Is In” advice booth. We admired the entries in the garlic growing contest, with categories for biggest bulb and smallest bulb. Some of the growers’ booths were decked out with first-place ribbons from previous years, and all of them had bins of garlic sorted by variety: Belarus, red grain, chrysalis purple, porcelain, music.
By this point, I had a severe case of garlic breath from the smoothie (totally worth it) but I still had room for a treat from the festival's second garlic ice cream purveyor, Minnesota Nice Cream. Bonus points for going all out on the garlic theme, with a lineup including oatmeal walnut cookies, roasted garlic fudge, garlic knot pastries, brown butter garlic soft serve, and even garlic clove key chains. I couldn’t pass up the Hail Garlic sundae, a combination of brown butter garlic soft serve, roasted garlic caramel, and crumbled oatmeal cookies. It fully embodied both the concept of “caramel sundae” and the concept of “garlic overload.” It was straight up fabulous.
Mike and I headed home with full stomachs, lighter wallets, garlic oozing from our pores, and a profound sense of contentment. Yes, that’s partly because we blew off our responsibilities and spent the afternoon eating ice cream. But it’s also because there is something soul-affirming about people coming together to celebrate what they find meaningful, whether that’s local sustainable agriculture or their favorite allium. Life is confusing and complicated, and watching a guy parade around with a giant garlic bulb on his head makes things feel just a little bit easier.
