NY Post: A-Rod Too Poor to Own T-Wolves

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

A-Rod Can’t Afford T-Wolves, Bennifer to Blame

Last year, buddies Alex Rodriguez and Marc Lore announced plans to buy the Timberwolves for $1.5 billion. However, “sources close to the situation” are telling the NY Post that while the two already put $250 million down in 2021 (mostly from Lore), they gotta come up with the cash for a second payment by the end of 2022—and it’s not looking good. Even at his $500 million net worth, A-Rod is too poor for investors, and “sources” want to blame Jennifer Lopez. “His ability to raise capital went from strong to meaningfully weaker,” the shit-talking source tells the Post. “J Lo validated him.”

What they mean, but aren’t quite saying, is that Lopez’s net worth of about $400 million, on top of A-Rod’s money, would have been validating to investors. There, I fixed that for ya. (Lopez was engaged to A-Rod at the start of the deal, but is now married to Dunkin-loving sad Batman Ben Affleck.) So, the deal might fall through because there was never enough money or investors to begin with. But don’t worry about the T-Wolves current owner, Strib overlord, mass chicken murderer, stimulus check taker, and all-around very rich guy Glen Taylor. “Taylor believes the value of the team has risen to about $2 billion since they struck the deal,” another “source” claims, “and believes he can make more by starting a new sales process.”

The U of M’s a Buncha Cheapskates

Can’t think of a better day for University employees to air their pay grievances than move-in day, so students (and parents) can learn know how badly compensated the people who feed and clean up after and otherwise cater to them are. Yesterday members of Teamsters Local 320, which reps 1,500 U of M workers and is currently in talks with (apparently non-fruitful) contract talks with the U, held an informational picket. Marissa Bremer-Roark, a building and grounds worker, shared the message to students with the Minnesota Reformer’s Max Nesterak: “We can’t keep living like this in order to serve you.”

The Reformer also links to a survey indicating that 61% of U workers can’t pay for basic expenses, 44% are putting off bills to buy groceries, and 8% have experienced homelessness. With wages at 13% below market rate, here are the union’s current demands: a 10% wage increase with an additional 5% increase for long-term workers, as well as a $20/hour minimum wage. Meanwhile, U of M president Joan Gabel got a raise last year, and will take home $1 million this year, a sum that increases till it hits $1.2 million in 2026. I imagine at least some of that raise is a reward for keeping “costs” down.

An All-White Abortion Island?

As Minnesota braces for an influx of abortion-seekers denied their rights in other states, Jessica Lussenhop at ProPublica took a look at who’s most likely to be crossing our borders. Based on the racial makeup of out-of-staters who currently seek abortions in Minnesota, it seems most visitors to our "abortion access island" will be white. While only 44% of Minnesotans who get in-state abortions are white, 75% of those coming from out of state are. The not-exactly-surprising implication here: Many pregnant people of color lack the resources to travel for abortions. Just another example of how even where abortion remains legal, it doesn’t always remain accessible.

We Love You, Horny State Fair Grandma

No need to gild the lily with surplus commentary here. Simply enjoy this Minnesota State Fair gal-on-the-street interaction between KARE 11's Jana Shortal and a delightful, joyously horny grandma-type.