As throngs of media and media-adjacent influencers gathered Tuesday inside Target Field for new food tasting day, freshly minted Twins President Derek Falvey stated the obvious during opening remarks: Through four games, the team stinks.
Of course Falvey qualified that by mentioning 158 games remain, 81 of ‘em scheduled for downtown Minneapolis’s terrific ballpark, which’ll host Home Opener ceremonies Thursday. If you’re to believe ace sportswriter Aaron Gleeman, whose recent RacketCast appearance you should definitely check out, the 2025 Twins will compete in the postseason this year, despite staggering to 0-4 record outta the gate. It’s not quite time to panic. (The 2016 squad started 0-9, at which point panicking made a lot of sense.)
But enough X & Os! Let's move on to the most important scouting reports you'll need this season: grades on all the new food items available at the ol' ballpark. Earlier today our team dispatched itself to 1 Twins Way to *John Gordon voice* munch 'em all.
All italicized descriptions come courtesy of the team's PR apparatus; all items are subjected to our peerless, pitiless Home Run!, Walk!, and Strikeout! rating system. Accept no substitutions. Prices weren't made immediately available, but you've been to enough sporting events to know there ain't any deals to be had.
Grilled SPAM® Sandwich
Seared SPAM patty, caramelized onions and bacon on a toasted onion bun. Available at TRULY On Deck Market.
Noted SPAM defenders that we are, we had high expectations for this new canned ham sandwich, and they were… let’s say mostly met. You’re looking at a big puck of pork product, more pork in the form of crispy chopped-up bacon, plus some well-caramelized onions—all good things that don’t do much in the way of amplifying or complimenting their fellow ingredients. It’s as salty as you’d think, and the alleged onion bun wasn’t noticeably onion-y but was very dry, a problem we’ll attribute to the heat lamps. Would we have named it something more like the Grand SPAM? Almost certainly. But that’s not the sandwich’s fault.
The call: Walk!
Chopped Southwest Burger
Chopped beef patty, chorizo, jalapeño aioli, lettuce, tomato, onion, pepperjack cheese and queso fresco on a hoagie roll. Available at TRULY On Deck Market.
Why can’t Target Field score a five-tool cheeseburger? Last year the ballpark rostered Red Cow, whose so-called “Ultimate Burger” earned this faint praise from our critic: “This cheeseburger is undoubtedly a cheeseburger: old-school, serviceable, unspectacular.” (The less said about the unaffiliated smashie, dubbed Just A Burger, the better.) This year’s burger callup gilds the lily by commingling very American-tasting pepperjack with queso. The other toppings are as ho-hum as you’d expect, and the hybrid beef-chorizo patty, while texturally passable with adequate crumbles, doesn’t pack much flavor. Also: Why is the fucking thing on a hoagie roll? Is this menu item managed by Paul Molitor circa 2018?
The call: Walk!
Vinai's Sweet & Sour Fried Pork
Chef Yia Vang is bringing a taste from his newest Northeast Minneapolis Hmong restaurant to Target Field, with a Sweet & Sour Fried Pork featuring crispy fried pork tossed in sweet and sour sauce, served on a fresh cabbage slaw with fresh cucumbers and pickled carrots. Available at TRULY On Deck Market.
Bright. Fragrant. Vibrant. Those are the words we jotted down to describe just the deliciously crunching base layer of cuke- and carrot-dotted slaw. Vinai’s cubes of crispily encased pork, which collapse into a tender piggy core, take the dish to a whole nother level. There’s a reason we declared 2024 “the Year of Yia”: The Hmong-American chef racked up accolades from the New York Times, Eater, and Esquire, the latter of which wrote, "the pleasure of the food is visceral." Not enough Yia for ya? He was also on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives last year, showing rock 'n' roll food dude Guy Fieri how to make Hmong crispy fried chicken and Thai tea pancakes. Don’t bet against Chef Vang—he’s the L.A. Dodgers of the local food universe.
The call: Home Run!
Pizza Lucé's Dugout Dill Pickle Pizza
Pizza Lucé, a Twin Cities staple and fan favorite, will offer a Dugout Dill Pickle Pizza exclusively at Target Field to start the season. Available at Minnie & Paul's, Section 234.
Pickle pizza is the sort of food fad that could have jumped the shark years ago were it not for the fact that it’s so damn good. And though a restaurant in Rochester, New York, takes credit for popularizing the pickle pie, there’s just something fundamentally midwestern about it; the lines at Rick’s Pizza seem to swell with every Minnesota State Fair following the stall’s 2022 pickle pizza debut. All that is to say, Pizza Lucé's Dugout Dill Pickle Pizza (now that’s a name!) is a guaranteed hit. It’s briny, it’s salty, it’s both cheesy and garlicky as heck, and the pickles are tessellated in such a way that they cover nearly the entire surface of the pie, for bite after bite of snappy satisfaction. The crust… well, you know what to expect from Pizza Luce’s crust.
The call: Home Run!
Lord Fletcher's Walleye Tacos
Fresh seasoned walleye topped with napa cilantro slaw in tequila vinaigrette and Baja sauce. Available at Section 34 Gate Area.
Lord Fletcher’s is a Lake Minnetonka institution, the type of place khaki-clad banking executives patronize to get hammered while ogling the procession of boats. That’s fine, all well and good. But the place isn’t a knockout seafood destination; as Mpls.St.Paul Mag puts it, diplomatically: “It's more about the setting than the food.” We didn’t like their “fishy lemon bread” walleye sandwich last year, and this year we’re unimpressed by these lifeless, gummy walleye tacos. The cilantro slaw pops with some nice flavors and textures, though the supposed star of the show—mushy hunks of subtle white fish—just kinda blend in. Unless you’re oceanside, always opt for fried fish tacos. Unlike the Mariana Trench, the floor is just so much higher.
The call: Strikeout!
Official Fried Chicken’s Hot Honey Chicken Tenders and Waffles and Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich
Available at Section 34 Gate Area.
“Insert your preferred home run euphemism—dinger, tater, moonshot, oppo boppo, whatever,” we wrote last year in describing Official Fried Chicken’s Mighty Buffalo Dry Rub Wings, the runaway hit of 2024. This year’s newbie contributions from Official Fried Chicken, Hot Honey Chicken Tenders and Waffles and a Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich, sadly aren’t gonna clear the outfield wall. The tendies themselves are great, crispy, juicy, and loaded with seasoning, but the waffle is sub-Eggo in quality and the CBR sammy falls firmly into “just OK” territory. L’eggo get something else to eat.
The call: Strikeout!
Kramarczuk's Brat Sampler
Kramarczuk's will deliver a Brat Sampler featuring locally-made Polish, bratwurst and cherry bomb sausages with grilled onions and sauerkraut on the side. Available at Sections 101 & 112.
Each and every year we confront the frivolity of this exercise: Why stuff ourselves, foie gras goose-style, with new-fangled foods when Target Field already boasts the ultimate ballpark meal? You ain’t gonna do better than a hot-off-the-grill Kramarczuk's sausage. It’s that simple. So, yeah, is this new delivery system—a raft of different snappy, smoky, roly-poly, crumbly link varieties—a home run? Of Harmon Killebrew proportions, baby. Bonus points for the cherry bomb, which could impress Joan Jett herself with its twisty helix of sneaky heat and lingering sweetness.
The call: Home Run!
Taco Libre's Rice Bowl and Machete
Minnesota’s newest destination for authentic Mexican cuisine, debuts at Target Field with two offerings: Machete, an 18” corn masa quesadilla with your choice of steak or chicken, lettuce, sour cream and shredded cheese; and Rice Bowl, with your choice of steak or chicken and served with rice, pinto beans, pico de gallo, sour cream and queso fresco. Available at Section 103.
Here’s what Racket writer Jerard Fagerberg wrote of a similar machete quesadilla concept, this one 23 inches and from Los Ocampo: “Nothing here makes sense. It just exists, and it’s very large, and now you know about it.” Profound stuff. Digging a bit deeper into the details, the 18-inch Taco Libre blade wasn’t done any favors as our samples lingered in the 40-degree air. But, even with that caveat, these puppies delivered the goods, with expertly crisped shells housing tender, flavorful cuts of steak. The cafeteria version of this would pack sinewy snarls of meat and veggies fresh from a can. With Taco Libre, a suburban mini-chain with three outposts, you know you’re in capable hands. If nothing else, the Instagram potential is Walker Jenkins-level. Oh, yeah: The bowl basically trades the shell for beans and rice—it’s also good.
The call: Home Run!
Niko Niko Boba
Niko Niko Boba, with its “Big Straws, Bigger Smiles”, will offer several boba tea flavors: Hawaiian Fruit Tea, the best-selling refreshing fruit tea with black tea, ice, Hawaiian fruit tea syrup, peach syrup and water, and choice of boba; Signature Milk Tea, best-selling creamy black tea with Sun Moon Lake black tea, bubble tea powder and fructose, and choice of boba; Strawberry Lemon Spritz, a caffeine-free, no-tea option with strawberry jam, lemon syrup, water and sparkling water, and choice of boba. Available at Section 107.
Boba at the ballpark? Folks, this just makes complete and absolute sense. Picture it: It’s 95 degrees and you’re sweating through your shorts, leaving damp rings on your hot plastic seat. You’re in the seventh inning, the Twins are down two runs, and no matter what happens, you have the hottest bike ride of your life ahead of you yet before you’re home to blast the AC. Then you remember: Niko Niko Boba. You peel your thighs from the plastic and stumble under the concourse shade, ordering a cup full of ice-cold, refreshing sweet tea. From here on out things go kind of like a shampoo commercial, where you’re dancing in a waterfall except it’s made out of milk tea. Sweet relief with a side of tapioca pearls.
The call: Home Run!
TokiDoki Wings
From Minneapolis’ own TokiDoki Burger, wings with your choice of TokiDoki dry rub or Sweet TokiDoki wing sauce. Available at Section 114.
The very good TokiDoki Burger is making its debut at Target Field this year, but with wings instead of burgs, and so far the Nicollet Avenue Japanese joint is batting .500. The dry rub wings were one of the best bites we had all afternoon, expertly seasoned and flavor-packed, with crispy skin giving way to tender meat. But the sauced version left something to be desired—too sweet, and lacking heat or depth or that finger-lickin’ quality you want from your flats and drummies. Here’s a thought: Per our earlier griping, maybe TokiDoki can bring a decent burger to Twins games next year?
The call: Walk!
Grand Slam Shawarma
Marinated chicken in garlic sauce rolled up in flatbread, chopped pickles and roasted garlic mayo. Available at Section 110.
Nothing we write here, no matter the bombastic heights our lyrical prose could soar, could compete with this shawarma meme. It’s simply an elite foodstuff, right up there with your Bonds, your Babes, your… uhh, failing another “B” name we’ll just say your Boof Bonsers. Target Field’s rookie shawarma sandwich pops with garlic and cumin notes like a ball off Big Papi’s bat, though some might find the saltiness a bit overwhelming. The chicken falls apart, the pickles crunch like delightful dill bombs, and the mayo weaves creaminess into the whole equation. Our lone suggestion? This flatbread looked and tasted a helluva lot more like prepackaged tortilla. Let’s get some puffy pita in the lineup, skip.
The call: Home Run!
Roots for the Home Team's Jalapeño Popper Salad and Flour Tortilla Wrap
A mix of quinoa, corn, zucchini, carrots, tomato, cilantro and red onions on top of mixed greens, served with a vegan cream cheese jalapeño dressing and chipotle croutons. Available select weekends Memorial Day through Labor Day at Section 110.
To paraphrase Nicole Kidman, we come to this place for magic. We come to this place to consume 7,000 calories worth of bun-ensconced meat products and fried food while drinking three to seven expensive beers. Do salads fit into the ballpark experience, for you? If so, the ones from Roots for the Home Team—a St. Paul nonprofit that gives youth urban farming experience—will certainly do the job. The Jalapeño Popper Salad does pop, with wonderfully fresh veggies and a zesty jalapeño dressing that’s also vegan friendly (one of few things on this list that can make that claim). The chipotle croutons were an especially tasty, crunchy surprise. Or maybe we were just happy to see a carb.
The call: Walk!
Soul Bowl Caribe Bowl
Jerk BBQ chicken, sweet plantains, yellow rice and diced pineapples, garnished with green onions. Available at Section 114.
Soul Bowl is the Nick Punto of Target Field food vendors: always around, rarely a detriment, but never a star. You could do worse than this tropical bowl. The plantain provides pleasant bursts of flavor; the juicy-enough chicken fell apart the way good chicken does. The heaping bed of yellow rice, however, felt pulled from a school cafeteria and, unfortunately considering its flavorful potential, there’s just not much taste here. It needs a killer sauce, a hearty dash of seasoning, something to elevate it to the big leagues. Lighter fare, it at least won’t leave your gut throbbing while marooned under the sun in the cheap seats.
The call: Walk!
Hrbek's Pork Tenderloin Sandwich
Crispy pork cutlet on a fresh bakery roll with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and ranch aioli. Available at Section 114.
Interestingly enough, “Hrbek!” is also the sound that came out my mouth after biting into this sandwich. The conversation that followed went something like this: “Does this smell bad to you?” “Yeah, it smells kind of like… bucket?” A second bite confirmed that we will under no circumstances feel enticed to order another one in the future. If Herbie lords over his namesake bar with micromanagerial obsessiveness, and there's nothing to indicate he does or doesn't, we pray he reads this and kills the bone-dry sammie that's making a mockery of his good name.
The call: Strikeout!
