Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily digest of important, overlooked, and/or interesting Minnesota news stories.
Lagoon, in True Hollywood Fashion, Will Get a Facelift
No one would accuse Landmark's Lagoon Cinema—which we love—of being in "good" shape. It was built in 1995 and looks it; there are holes in the carpet, and everything is a bit shabby and dated. (Said with love!!!) Most of the auditoriums have multiple seats that broke at one point, months or years ago, and were marked out of commission with a note on a piece of printer paper, never to be repaired. That photo above was taken recently, when two Racket staffers went to see Flow (love Flow, highly recommend Flow) and left mesmerized both by the film and the fact that so many components of a women's restroom could be out of order at the same time.
We'd sort of assumed that this is how it would continue to go at the Uptown theater, with conditions slowly deteriorating until the place eventually shut its doors. But reader Abraham Teuber tipped us off to a story in Deadline today in which Landmark announced "extensive remodeling" for three of its top locations: Bethesda Row, Kendall Square... and Lagoon.
Deadline's Jill Goldsmith reports that Lagoon will undergo "a complete transformation," including a modernized lobby (nice), a new full-service bar (niiiice), hand-painted murals (nice), auditorium upgrades including luxe reclining seats (very nice), and updates to projection and sound technology (extremely nice). Newly named CEO Kevin Holloway will be overseeing the changes.
Landmark has closed 32 locations since the pandemic, according to Deadline, with 26 remaining. Let's hope a little refresh helps Lagoon stick around.
Hm, Weird! All Café Cerés Locations to Close Amid Union Negotiations.
In a glowing Twin Cities Business profile from 2022, Porsche-driving restaurateur Daniel Del Prado offered the following quotes to his biz-friendly audience: “I love capitalism"; "I love Adam Smith"; “I like rich people"; "My main focus is growth”; and “I am terrified of not having money."
Over the past couple years, Del Prado's $40 million empire encountered unionizing workforces at two of his brands, Colita and Café Cerés. Fifty-five Colita workers voted against unionization last year (Unite Here Local 17 blamed "relentless union-busting"), while around 30 workers at four Ceres locations voted in favor of unionizing. On Thursday, Southwest Voices reported those union jobs will vanish before a first contract gets ironed out: All four Café Cerés shops will close April 13. What interesting timing from a Wealth of Nations-humping ownership group! Here's the wormy PR slop out-of-work baristas had to read, courtesy of DDP Restaurant Group...
While we are proud of what we accomplished in the cafe space and tried to make it a success, it's clear that the DDP Restaurant Group's future lies in what we do best—creating and operating amazing, and highly successful, restaurants by delivering exceptional hospitality, crafting unforgettable dining experiences, and leading chef-driven food and beverage programs.
Wow, nothing is "chef-driven" these days!
We'd try, again, to get a comment directly from Del Prado, but these owners tend to hide behind radio-silent PR teams—why should we waste our time (again) as they don't do their jobs? (In an interview with TCB, the biz genius blames Minneapolis wages, taxes, and rents, plus the apparently surprising fact that coffee shop customers spend less than restaurant patrons.) Earlier today, Unite Here Local 17 quickly provided Racket the following statement...
Heads of restaurant empires like Daniel del Prado would rather close shop than give a fair share to the workers who make them rich. Café Cerés charges $16 for a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich but refuses to pay its baristas more than minimum wage. The restaurant industry is fundamentally broken, and workers will not stop organizing and demanding more from their employers until they have the basic respect, living wage, and healthcare they need. Café Cerés workers won their union election in August 2024 and have been in bargaining for their first union contract since then, including four bargaining dates this month. Because these workers have a union, they can bargain together for severance instead of being completely neglected like so many workers in this industry when an owner closes.
There’s No Such Thing as Free Parking
Falcon Heights wants to charge non-residents for parking during the State Fair, according to this story in the Star Tribune by Tim Harlow. And honestly, why wouldn’t they? Everyone else in the area makes bank on the annual event, and the fair-adjacent neighborhoods are overrun with parked fairgoers. Under a plan discussed by Falcon Heights City Council on Wednesday, which could bring in $100,000 to $200,000 annually, the city would install meters to use during the 12 days of the fair, with each resident given a parking pass. Parking would cost $25 a day in Northome and Northeast neighborhoods, which might seem like a lot, but hell, you could pay that much to park in somebody’s yard.
The story quotes resident Sue Majerus complaining that Falcon Heightsians should receive multiple passes in case they have guests, adding “I hope [the mail carrier] doesn’t have to pay $25 to park there.” Nobody is going to ticket the damn mail carrier, Sue! Why are people still driving to the fair anyway? It’s a nightmare! What are you, too good for Park ‘n’ Ride?
Noted GOP Spider Slinger Shoots for the Stars
Last summer, Marisa Simonetti made headlines for throwing a live tarantula at an Airbnb’er she said was squatting in her (rented) Edina home, all while running for District 6 Hennepin County Commissioner as a “family values” Republican. Her opponent, Heather Edelson, won by nearly 68% in the November election.
Since then, it appears Simonetti has mostly been active on OnlyFans, but this morning she announced that she’s interested in a new job: Tina Smith’s U.S. Senate seat. While she doesn’t appear to have a website up yet, a press release posted to Twitter and Instagram states that her platform “centers on affordable healthcare and housing, economic and educational opportunity, and a sustainable future.” You know, the kind of things her party is currently taking a wrecking ball to.
This Instagram post, which is also pinned on Twitter, is probably closer to her real platform:
If this bid is for real real, she’ll be up against stiff competition, including current Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan, former Senate DFL leader Melisa López Franzen, and horrible antisemitic shithead Royce White.
