‘Just Atrocious’: Self-Destructing 2024 Twins Nearly Put Out of Misery

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily digest of important, overlooked, and/or interesting Minnesota news stories.

After All This, How Is Fan Appreciation Weekend Not FREE to Attend?!

You don't look to radio broadcasters for pointed commentary on a team's performance; they're generally boosters, there to hype the product no matter its quality. But last night, as the historically imploding Minnesota Twins let the 100-loss Miami Marlins smack away their vanishing playoff hopes, announcers Cory Provus and Kris Attebury couldn't help themselves.

Said Attebury, as catcher Ryan Jeffers bunted into a freaking extra-innings double play: "This is an absolute circus and that is the worst possible result you could ever have in the 12th inning. That play encapsulates the last two months of Minnesota Twins baseball. Oh my. Oh my. Just atrocious."

Added Provus: "Come on, guys. Can't happen. Cannot happen."

This Twins team, hamstrung by pinch-penny ownership and nose-diving play, has proven capable of just about anything... even dropping near-lock playoff odds (95.8% on September 2) to 3.3% with just three games remaining, per FanGraphs. That's what happens when you go 12-24 since mid-August.

For blame, let's for sure call out the pathetic Pohlad family, billionaires who electively cut $35 million from this year's payroll despite the team snapping a woeful playoff losing streak last fall. ("Imagine what next season could be," indeed.) But honestly, there's plenty to go around—just ask the die hard fans who pelted the Twins with well-earned boos last night inside a mostly empty Target Field. (For a premature postmortem, consult the latest episode of Gleeman & The Geek.)

Twins Territory deserves a helluva lot better.

First Ave Workers to Hit Picket Line Saturday

It seemed like a best-case scenario when workers at First Avenue and its sister venues (7th Street Entry, Depot Tavern, Turf Club, Fine Line, Palace Theatre, and Fitzgerald Theater) announced they were unionizing via Unite Here Local 17 in late 2023. About 24 hours after the news broke, First Avenue confirmed that it would recognize the union—a rare move. But contract negotiations have apparently hit a snag over non-tip employee pay and seniority, so tomorrow workers and supporters will be picketing outside of Minneapolis's downtown danceteria. 

“For the company to propose not counting my nearly 20 years, it’s insulting,” Pauli DeMaris, who has been at First Ave since 2005, says via press release. "A lot goes into putting on a show every night and it can't go well without us, First Ave should remember that.”

Right now, most non-tip employees make minimum wage, which ammounts to $15.57 an hour. Meanwhile, Unite Here points out that other venues around town reportedly offer higher pay, including the Fillmore which “advertised ‘starting pay of $20/hour’ at a job fair earlier this year.” 

First Avenue happenings on Saturday include a concert with pop/R&B artist Tori Kelly, followed by a “No Scrubs ‘90s Dance Party.”

The Times Thinks Twin Cities Real Estate Is Some Kind of Game

And a pretty fun game, as it turns out. That New York paper has a running feature where it follows a buyer’s house hunt, then asks you which of the properties in question you’d buy and which property you think they bought. ("The Hunt" last visited our town in 2023 on a $350K budget.) Yesterday they followed a recent retiree who’d been living in Dakota County and was looking to spend $180K on “an area that would be energetic.” He looks at a place near downtown Minneapolis, and two in St. Paul, including one right around the corner from the Fitzgerald.

I (this is Keith talking) was personally not sold on any of these spots (especially upon hearing from condo owners on social media about how quickly association fees rise over the years). Also, I guessed which property he went with wrong. But what do I know, I’ll be renting till I die. See if you can do better than I did! Elsewhere in the NYT via The Athletic: Here's a neat little profile of Minnesota Golden Gopher Dragan Kesich, "the nation's most colorful kicker."

Downtown is Back! (Flute-Wise.)

Much ink has been spilled on the respective plights of downtown Minneapolis and downtown St. Paul. But what if we told you downtown Minneapolis has been saved? Specifically, saved from its lack of aerial flute theatrics? Happy Friday.