It's the most boringest time of the year for me to write this column. It's just a matter of telling you which theater is showing which of the same six Christmas movies this week. Not that I begrudge you enjoying any of these seasonal cinema traditions in the theater. But telling the same old jokes gets dull. So please excuse me for getting horny here about some old-timey actresses.
Thursday, December 7
Max Lucado's Because of Bethlehem (2023)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/B&B Theaters Bloomington 13
Because of Bethlehem sounds like a romcom title. $16.35. 7 p.m. More info here.
Chevalier (2023)
Capri Theater
A Black composer rises in French society but pisses Marie Antoinette off. $5; free for North Side residents. 7 p.m. More info here.
Love Actually (2003)
Emagine Willow Creek
Remember when Lindy West wrote a whole book about hating this movie? Different times. $11. 5 & 8:30 p.m. More info here.
Hateful Eight (2015)
Grandview 1&2
Am I correct in remembering this as a meandering, mean-spirited piece of trash? $12. 9:15 p.m. Saturday 11:59 p.m. More info here.
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
The Heights
I honestly get choked up just thinking about it. $12. 7:30 p.m. More info here.
2023 British Arrows Awards
Walker Art Center
Once more, these "adverts," as the Brits say, will take over the Walker for December, and tix will go fast. Through Sunday. $18+. Times and more info here.
Friday, December 8
The Holy Mountain (1973)
Trylon
Jodorowsky doing his usual, unusual wild thing. $8. 7 & 9:15 p.m. Sunday 3 & 5:15 p.m. More info here.
Saturday, December 9
White Christmas (1954)
Alamo Drafthouse
Nothing against Bing, but I've always been partial to this rendition. $10. 2:10 p.m. Sunday 11:15 a.m. More info here.
The Room (2003)
Alamo Drafthouse
With live commentary from the star of the cult classic, Greg Sestero. $15. 6:30 p.m. More info here.
From the Met: Florencia en el Amazonas
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16
An opera based on the works of Gabriel García Márquez. Also Wednesday. 27.26. 12:55 p.m. More info here.
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
The Parkway
Lemme tell you, young Donna Reed does it for me. $5-$10. 1 p.m. More info here.
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Riverview
Got a Saturday to kill? $15. 10:45 a.m. More info here.
Sunday, December 10
A Christmas Story (1983)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
Meet a midwestern family that’s actually reluctant to buy their child a weapon. $16.26. 4 & 7 p.m. Also Wednesday. More info here.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Emagine Willow Creek
Never heard of it. Also Wednesday. $9. 1 & 6 p.m. More info here.
Psycho Beach Party (2000)
Emagine Willow Creek
You got your slasher movie in my beach party movie! $11. 7 p.m. More info here.
American Fiction (2023)
The Main
A sneak peek at the new Jeffrey Wright literary satire. Free for Film Society members. 11 p.m. More info here.
Brazil (1985)
Trylon
Terry Gilliam's wild dystopian masterpiece. $8. 7:45 p.m. Monday-Tuesday 7 & 9:30 p.m. More info here.
Monday, December 11
Gremlins (1984)
Alamo Drafthouse
Girl, are you a gremlin? Cause I wanna get you wet and multiply. $10. 6:35 p.m. More info here.
American Fiction (2023)
Alamo Drafthouse
Another sneak peek, this one including a livestream Q&A with director Cord Jefferson. $13.50. 7 p.m. More info here.
Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
Emagine Willow Creek
Tokyo Godfathers is a Christmas movie. Through Wednesday. $11. 7:10 p.m. More info here.
Blood Beat (1983)
Emagine Willow Creek
A samurai's ghost ruins a Wisconsin Christmas. $6. 7:30 p.m. More info here.
The Apartment (1960)
The Heights
Man, Shirley MacLaine was so cute. $12. 7:30 p.m. More info here.
Tuesday, December 12
Black Christmas (1974)
Alamo Drafthouse
Lovely weather for a SLAY ride together. $7. 8:25 p.m. More info here.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
The Parkway
Nope, still doesn't ring a bell. With pre-show trivia. $9/$12. 8 p.m. More info here.
Wednesday, December 13
Batman Returns (1992)
Alamo Drafthouse
Where'd he go? $10. 6:30 p.m. More info here.
Secret Movie Night
Emagine Willow Creek
A local notable picks a movie, and you find out what it is when the lights go down. $10. 7 p.m. More info here.
Magnolia (1999)
Grandview 1&2
Why are movies so long these days? $12. 9:15 p.m. More info here.
The Favourite (2018)
Lagoon Cinema
Emma Stone, Olivia Coleman, and Rachel Weisz maneuver for sex and power in 18th century Britain. $5. 7 p.m. More info here.
Ex Machina (2015)
Showplace ICON
I would quite simply not build a sexy robot that was strong enough to kill me. $7. 7 p.m. More info here.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (1983)
Trylon
Tis the season for David Bowie and Ryuichi Sakamoto. $13. 7 p.m. More info here.
Opening This Week
Follow the links for showtimes.
The Boy and the Heron
I cannot even express how much I'm anticipating this.
Christmas With the Chosen: Holy Night
Ooh, I hope I get picked!
Die Hard
Don't. Even. Say. It.
Eileen
Psychological thriller in a '60s prison atarring Anne Hathaway.
Maestro
Be careful out there—it's biopic season.
Our Son
A Kramer vs. Kramer for the gays.
Waitress: The Musical
Sara Bareilles, you were born for this.
Ongoing in Local Theaters
Follow the links for showtimes.
Dream Scenario (read our review here)
The Holdovers (read our review here)
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
Napoleon (read our review here)
Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé
Saltburn (read our review here)
Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (read our review here)
