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Happy Birthday, America. Have Another Fucking Minions Movie.

Here's just about every movie you can see in theaters this week.

11:59 AM CDT on June 30, 2022

Courtesy of Universal Pictures|

Whatever.

I would just like to go on the record with this strongly held belief: There should be fewer bad movies and more good ones. I'm not afraid to be controversial!

Special Screenings This Week

Thursday, June 30

Hotel Transylvania (2012)
Alamo Drafthouse
Airbn-BOO! $5. 3 p.m. Also Monday & Wednesday. More info here.

Macross Frontier: The Wings of Farewell (2011)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
“In the aftermath of the events of The False Songstress, Sheryl Nome remains aboard the Macross Frontier as her health begins to rapidly deteriorate.” Well, when you put it that way. $16.13. 7 p.m. More info here.

Los Hermanos (2020)
The Main
Two Cuban-born musician brothers, separated geographically, are reunited. Part of the Cuban Film Festival. $6-$9. 7 p.m .More info here

The Wedding Singer (1998)
Mueller Park
It’s Mueller time! Free. Dusk. More info here.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) 
Parkway Theater
Not many comedies can survive four decades of nerds quoting it. What a great exception. With pre-movie music from Zeppo. $9/$12. 7 p.m. music. 8 p.m. screening. More info here.

The Croods (2013)
Riverview Theater
Why'd the cowards at the Trylon leave this out of their Nic Cage retrospective? $1. 10:30 a.m. More info here.

Koerner, Murphy & Beach: The Farewell Tour (2022)
Trylon
Three short films about three storied Minneapolis music veterans. $10. 7 p.m. More info here.

Friday, July 1

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
Alamo Drafthouse
It wasn’t easy being a bicycle commuting pioneer back in the ’80s. $5. 3 p.m. More info here.

Spirit Untamed (2021)
Emagine Willow Creek
Been trying to figure out how this not-exactly-sequel is connected to Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron but the Spirit Cinematic Universe is too confusing for me. $3. 10 p.m. all week. More info here.

Ayaanle (2022)
The Main
Cedar-Riverside's own Barkhad Abdirahman stars as a Somali man who dreams of making it in Hollywood but instead becomes the most wanted man in Nairobi. $15. 9:30 p.m. Also Saturday 9:30 p.m.; Sunday 4 & 7 p.m. More info here.

Jurassic Domination (2022)
Trylon
Starring Eric Roberts, the grandfather of a half-Minnesotan child. $8. 2 p.m. Saturday 5 p.m. Sunday 1 p.m. Monday-Thursday 4:30 p.m. More info here.

Mahogany (1975)
Water Works
Do you know where you’re going to? It’s the new park near the Stone Arch Bridge. Free. Dusk. More info here.

Scream It Off Screen 
Parkway Theater
Vote for your favorite local short films by screaming. You will not believe how fun this is. $10/$12. 8 p.m. More info here

Slither (2006)
Trylon
James Gunn? I prefer his earlier work. $8. Friday-Saturday 7 & 9 p.m. Sunday 3 & 5 p.m. More info here.

Saturday, July 2

King Richard (2021)
Lake Harriet
Will Smith takes on Shakespeare. Free. Dusk. More info here.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Parkway Theater
The Parkway begins a month-long selection of Studio Ghibli flicks with Miyazaki’s great early ecological fantasy. $5-$10. 1 p.m. More info here.

Sunday, July 3

Dick (1999)
Alamo Drafthouse
Now that’s how you take down a shitty president. $10. Noon. More info here.

Men in Black (1997)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16
Remember when people thought government conspiracies were... cool? $16.13. 3 & 7 p.m. Also Monday 7 p.m. More info here.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Emagine Willow Creek
Is Julian Glover's American accent as bad as I remember it? $7.95. 12:30 & 5:30 p.m. Also Wednesday. More info here.

Con Air (1997)
Trylon
You shouldn’t put that many dangerous convicts on one plane, imo. $8. 7 p.m. Also Monday-Tuesday 7 & 9 p.m. More info here.

Monday, July 4

Escape from New York (1982) / Escape from L.A. (1996)
Alamo Drafthouse
I think of Donald Pleasance yelling “You are the Duke, you are A-Number One” at Isaac Hayes quite often. $20. 6:30 p.m. More info here

Piranha (1978)
Emagine Willow Creek
To quote my friend Mike’s young daughter Kara, “She went into the water to find the fishies… but the fishies found HER. Nom nom nom.” $6. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Tuesday, July 5

The Mitchells vs. the Machines (2021)
Lyndale Park Gardens
Anticipating another terrible 6-3 Supreme Court ruling on this. Free. Dusk. More info here.

Wednesday, July 6

Edward Scissorhands (1990)
The Commons 
Weird timing for a Johnny Depp movie. Free. Dusk. More info here.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)
The Heights
Cannot be overstated how strange yet perfect Judy Garland’s stylized, keyed-up performance is in this freaky movie. $12. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Tape Freaks July
Trylon
No clues this month! $5. 7 p.m. More info here.

Opening This Week

The Forgiven
One of those “rich people do crimes, will there be consequences?” movies, I gather.

The Human Trial
An intimate look at patients undergoing embryonic stem-cell clinical trials.

Jugjugg Jeeyo
“Two couples from different generations confront their issues after marriage.”

Minions: The Rise of Gru
I must know how Gru got so evil. Was it t-r-a-u-m-a?

Mr. Malcolm's List
Some kinda period romance, if that’s your thing.

Official Competition
Penélope Cruz and Antonio Banderas square off in this satire of wealth and filmmaking.

Ongoing in Local Theaters

The Bad Guys

The Black Phone

The Bob’s Burgers Movie

Elvis (read our review here)

Downton Abbey: A New Era

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Jurassic World: Dominion

Lightyear

The Phantom of the Open (read our review here)

Top Gun: Maverick (read our review here)

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