In the cash-dominated, rigidly marketed world of professional sports, athletes don't have much space for self-expression.
NFL players may choose to display one of seven anodyne social justice slogans that won't upset the league's 64 uniform inspectors. The NBA relaxed ex-Commissioner David Stern's "kind of racist" dress code, while the NHL continues to enforce its collectively bargained suit mandate.
MLB has its own set of bizarre uniform guidelines, but baseball boasts the most unique insight into the personalities of players: walk-up songs. Starting around 1990, ballpark PA systems began blasting player-selected tunes prior to each home team at bat. For over a decade, I've made it my springtime ritual to grade the tracks picked by each Minnesota Twin: at the Twin Cities A.V. Club, at Vita.mn, at City Pages, and, now at an outlet I hopefully won't torpedo.
The club, which staggered outta the gate to a 2-4 start yet remains tied for the AL Central lead, brings high expectations into 2025, plus lots of newish faces. Long gone are the days of Joe Mauer approaching the plate to T.I.'s 2006 banger "What You Know," as the swagless hometown hero reliably did every year at Target Field. (He received reliable A grades.) Even the more recent Bomba Squad has largely dissolved, meaning we've lost the soundtracks to dingers from Nelson Cruz ("Soldado" by Juan Luis Guerra), Mitch Garver (a semi-pandering "Say Shh" by Atmosphere), Eddie Rosario (“Bendiciones” by the ubiquitous Bad Bunny).
My yearly desire to cast music-critic judgements onto nine physically, financially, and, often, tastefully superior men? That'll never die. Here's how your 2025 Minnesota Twins fared at DJing their own at-bats.
Matt Wallner, RF
Song: "White Horse" by Chris Stapleton
Me? I'm a "Wild Horses" (Flying Burrito Bros version, not the Stones) guy. But this hard-charging country rocker, which was co-written by Trump-co-opted Minneapolitan Dan Wilson, ain't half bad. And who are we to question Matt Wallner, who's unquestionably the best high-profile Minnesotan to emerge from Forest Lake? (We're speculating that fellow Forest Laker Pete Hegseth is super into Burzum and Wagner—don't read into that, or his tattoos.)
Grade: B+
Carlos Correa, SS
Song: "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi
Carlos... why? The team's highest-paid player ($37.3 million per year) has gotta do better than this Top 40 hair-metal slop. And he has! Correa picked perfectly acceptable Bad Bunny bops the past two season. But hey, if cheeseball rock keeps the superstar shortstop's plantar fasciitis at bay through '25, we'll shut up next year.
Grade: D
Byron Buxton, CF
Song: "Jamming'" by Bob Marley
For years Buxton rocked with Mark Morrison's silky-smooth R&B banger "Return of the Mack," and he's maintaining chill vibes with this timeless Marley tune. Last season, the oft-injured outfielder played 100+ games for the first time since 2017—keep that jam going, Buck. Of note: Buxton's backup song appears to be "All Around the World," the 1989 Lisa Stansfield hit. Huh!
Grade: A-
Trevor Larnach, DH
Song: "You Know How We Do It" by Ice Cube
A G-funk classic from 1993 Ice Cube album Lethal Injection, "You Know How We Do It" channels Cube's previous smash single "It Was a Good Day." (Interestingly, Larnach chose the latter one as his backup walk-up song.) Appropriate stuff from the 28-year-old Cali kid who broke out last year with 15 homers.
Grade: A
Ryan Jeffers, C
Song: "Duffle Bag Boy" by Playaz Circle feat. Lil Wayne
Shamefully, I was unaware of Playaz Circle—a duo featuring the great 2 Chainz (then known at Tity Boi) and some guy named Dolla Boy—until moments ago. Critics hated the group's 2007 debut, Supply & Demand, on which this No. 15 Billboard hit appeared, though AllMusic described "Duffle Bag Boy" as "infectious," "hard," and "brilliant." Dunno about that, but it does take me back to Wayne's prolific and periodically genius mixtape era. For Jeffers, 27, this vintage of hip-hop is practically classic rock.
Grade: B
Ty France, 1B
Song: "One Day" by Common Kings
I was certain, based on the track title and band name, that this would be our annual foray into Christian praise music. Not the case! First-year Twin Ty France chose an Orange County pop-reggae group and, well, they're not great. "Common Kings are giving Magic!," is what the kids would say if they remembered Magic!, which, mercifully, they do not. Lyrically, you're not getting much beyond lines like "Light a spliff/Take a rip/We gon dance till the morning come" as "One Day" bounces along to familiar upstrokes and horn blasts. France is from neighboring L.A. County, so maybe this one just sounds like home.
Grade: C-
Jose Miranda, 3B
Song: "VOY A LLeVARTE PA PR" by Bad Bunny
Bad Bunny is an absolute global powerhouse, regularly topping Spotify's most-streamed charts. The reggaeton king from Puerto Rico commissioned a pleasant, Paddington-evoking animated frog for the brand-new "VOY A LLeVARTE PA PR" video (see below), and we pray the lil guy appears on the Jumbotron when fellow Puerto Rican Miranda takes the plate. Shoutout to Jose for never pandering to Twin Citians who can afford ballpark tickets and picking something from his very famous cousin's unavoidable musical.
Grade: B-
Harrison Bader, LF
Song: "Nokia" by Drake
Would we have chosen a song by an artist who was just accused of being a pedophile in front of 133.5 million Super Bowl viewers? Not necessarily. But it's hard to argue with Bader so far, as the freshly acquired veteran outfielder has bopped three home runs through six games. Plus his nickname is "Tots"—as in Bader "Tots," not the kind of tots Drake (allegedly) exchanges texts with.
Grade: D+
Willi Castro, 2B
Song: "Poron Pompon" by Crazy Design
Little information exists online about Crazy Design, an apparent reggaeton artist from the Dominican Republic. This much is certain: The versatile Castro earned All-Star honors last season, his second with Minnesota, and the video for "Poron Pompon" is fucking bonkers. Go Twins.
Grade: B
For the song picks for this year's entire squad, including a starting pitching rotation that dips into the Stones, AC/DC, and Prince, consult the full list courtesy of Twins PR ace Dustin Morse.
