If you’re anything like me, you love Halloween—aka Gay Christmas. Maybe you’ve been planning your costume all year. Maybe you’re planning to pick up the cheapest costume you can find at Spirit Halloween that makes you look hot. Maybe this is the year you decide to cross-dress for a laugh and you accidentally pierce the veil between genders long enough to interrogate the nature of the human condition.
All valid options. But regardless of your approach, I’d suggest a potential enhancement—pairing your costume of choice with a locally brewed beverage. And, good news, everyone: I have five beers brewed right here in Minnesota to get you started.
Montgomery Brewing: Ziggy Hop
Hazy IPA / 7% ABV / 15 IBU
I didn’t actually know what the “angle” for this column would be until I saw this beer on the shelf at South Lyndale Liquors, so hat tip to them for reminding me that people wear costumes on Halloween, and might even drink some beer while wearing those costumes. I’m also a sucker for the bold and colorful packaging from Montgomery Brewing. The beer itself smells like tropical fruit with a grapefruit undercurrent. It tastes a bit like fruit punch with some citrus and woodiness thrown in for good measure. All around, a really tasty hazy.
Pair this beer with any variation on a “David Bowie” or “Iggy Pop” costume if you want the full effect (a little bag of “cocaine” would really sell it, but you probably don’t want that attention). But, a beer like this has more range than that. You can also pair it with your “boomer dad” costume, your “guitar-shop guy” costume, or your “'70s groupie” costume.
Haggard Barrel Brewing: She-Wolf
Strawberry Wheat Ale / 4.5% ABV / ?? IBU
I’m not really a fruited wheat beer gal. I never loved the way the style was leveraged by beer bros as “for women,” and I carry a deep resentment at the fact that almost every time I ask a male bartender at a brewery for their recommendation, they start off with fruited beers and sours. However, the can art for She-Wolf—and the near endless costume options that popped to mind when I saw it—broke me out of my usual skepticism. And I’m really glad it did, because She-Wolf is quite good. It smells like a wheat beer, which is nice in a beer made with wheat, with a very balanced strawberry note laid in on top. Flavor-wise, it skews light malt and wheat with a tart edge that balances out slightly toward strawberry. It’s pretty reserved for a fruited wheat beer, and the result is something much more enjoyable than the fruit bombs I’m used to breweries marketing toward women.
Pair it with your werewolf costume for the full effect, of course. But you could try your “Minnesota Zoo worker” costume, your “mountain man” costume, or your “pink wolf with huge gazongas” fur suit you’ve not yet shown your friends but think you might be able to get away with. I’m not going to judge you. The best pairing for this beer is any femme costume as long as you continually refer to the beer as your “dumb bitch juice” when talking to other partygoers. Puns are always funny. Halloween is no exception.
Pryes Brewing Company: Rye Barrel Aged Barrel Carving
“Imperial Pumpkin Ale” / 9.8% ABV / 21 IBU
I had a couple people ask me for pumpkin beer recommendations this year, and because I hadn’t tried this beer yet, I’m afraid I wasn’t too helpful. I've strongly disliked almost every pumpkin beer I’ve tried in the last few years, and haven’t really bemoaned their decreased prominence on liquor store shelves at all. But Pryes really knocked this one out of the park. Rye Barrel Aged Barrel Carving smells like rye whiskey and sweet pumpkin spice. And, it tastes like boozy butterscotch, cinnamon, and nutmeg. As you might guess from its ABV, it’s sweet, but it’s not too sweet. The result is something indulgent but not too over-the-top (though it may tip you over).
This beer can be paired to best effect with a “headless horseman” costume, but “scarecrow,” “farmer,” and “sexy pumpkin” are all on the table as well. Is it weird to be dressed as a sexy pumpkin while drinking something made with pumpkin? I don’t know, but I’d really like to chat with someone who is up for trying it out and reporting back. We’re not innovating nearly enough in the sexy gourd space lately.
Drastic Measures Brewing: Man Trap
Cream Ale / 5.4% ABV / ?? IBU
“Man Trap” is not a label I’ve ever had applied to me, and a lot of that probably comes down to the fact I couldn’t look as straight as the woman on this can if I had a personal stylist and an entire day to get ready. But, as straight as the she is, I must admit I was still drawn to her. The curse of being a queer woman is occasionally having a thing for a straight girl that would destroy your life. It happens to the best of us. Man Trap smells like peach and light malt, and tastes like sweet peach with hints of mango. A lot of the traditional cream ale notes are covered by the fruit flavors here, but I think it works out pretty well all the same.
Pair this beer with a “Taylor Swift tacking to the right to maintain mass-marketability” costume, an “aspiring Attorney General for Donald Trump” costume, or a “local news host doing a segment on chlamydia in local fish populations” costume. Those costumes might sound weirdly specific, but I would become immediate best friends with anyone who showed up to a Halloween party in one of those.
Junkyard Brewing Company: Dirty Pete and the Dungeon Chiefs
Hazy IPA / 6.8% ABV / ?? IBU
Do I want to go to a concert tonight? Maybe, who’s playing? Dirty Pete, you say? I mean, I don’t know anything about him other than his name, but I’m already on board. Minnesota’s most recent weirdly sexual gremlin guy is an accused sex pest, so we’re in need of a new one. Sorry, he also has a backing band? They’re called the “Dungeon Chiefs?” How am I just hearing about this? He takes a whip out on stage? Jesus, stop talking, let’s go already.
Dirty Pete and the Dungeon Chiefs smells like floral pineapple and mango in a complex way reminiscent of tiki cocktails. It tastes like sweet citrus rind with a light grassy bitterness evening it out. It’s smooth, but not super pillowy compared to some hazies. Overall, very tasty.
Pair this one with your “Pitchfork reviewer” costume (make sure to have incorrect opinions about the best albums from beloved artists prepared in advance), your “former radio show host whose older brother was in the Replacements” costume, or any Rocky Horror-inspired costume you can imagine. Or, maybe just dress up like a dominatrix and say you’re their opening act. You do you.
