June is Pride Month, and it seems like a number of breweries take that opportunity to put out a fruit beer ‘round about now. Which, c’mon—that’s just too on the nose, guys. Fruit beer? For the… fruits? Har har. Also, while I love a good fruit beer here and there, I can’t recommend spending a whole month drinking them.
No, the infinite depth and variation of the queer community requires more variety. So, I’ve lined up five beers that I think you ought to try, and in honor of Pride, I’m going to get hella gay about all of them.
Hammerheart Brewing Company: Vårtid
Smoked Pilsner / 5.9% ABV / N/A IBU
Hammerheart, in its Untappd entry for this charismatic Kristin Stewart-esque lesbian fuckboi of a beer, calls it a “bright, hoppy, mildly smokey Pilsner brewed for springtime bonfires and the coming warm weather after the long Minnesota winter.” Yeah, OK, sure. But we know what’s really going on here. Vårtid is the Ely-based brewery's elaborate attempt to seduce every single woman in the state of Minnesota. And honestly—it’s very successful. So successful that while I generally try to avoid gender-essentialist nonsense, I’d honestly suggest some deep introspection for any “woman” who doesn’t like Vårtid, and any “man” who does like it. You might discover something life-changing. (Nonbinary and genderqueer people are obviously exempt from this by virtue of having pierced the veil and glimpsed the eldritch knowledge or whatever.)
All that aside, Vårtid’s aroma is biscuity pilsner malt with a light noble hop note and faint smoke. Its flavor is clean crisp malt with a light sweetness, and only the barest hint of smoke. It’s very refreshing and easy to drink, and an obvious choice for a transitional beer into the hotter summer months.
Talking Waters Brewing Co.: The Rooster
Double IPA / 8.5% ABV / N/A IBU
Montevideo's Talking Waters named this beer after “Rooster” by Alice in Chains as a tribute to “grit, survival + heavy riffs in every sip.” I’m not sure I’m able to comment on that specifically, but I can say that Alice in Chains’ “Rooster” is a banger, and so is this beer. Also, much like Alice in Chains, I’d place this beer as originating on the West Coast side of things. Its aroma is pure dank pine with citrus, and its flavor is sweet malt with a bitter herbal backbone. The Rooster is medium bodied, crystal clear, and delicious.
Personified, I’d say it’s a butch from Seattle who took the Indigo Girls’ “Hammer and a Nail” literally, wears a lot of flannel, and references Leslie Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues and Norm Abram's The New Yankee Workshop with almost equal frequency. She’ll build you a new porch, and then point out all the extra mortise and tenon joints she added for “extra structural integrity.”
Wooden Ship Brewing Co.: Whatever’s Saisonal
Saison / 5.8% ABV / N/A IBU
Saison is a style I associate strongly with summer—the flavor, relative lightness, and refreshing vibes are just perfect for hot summer days. I must admit, this association led me to think that saisons were traditionally brewed during the summer months. This erroneous belief made sense to me because famous examples—like Saison Dupont—are often fermented at higher temperatures close to what we’d generally think of as “summer temps.” Cue my surprise when I learned that historically, saisons were brewed in winter, and merely consumed in the summer. What the heck, old-timey brewers? Why you sitting on such a delicious beer for half a year?
Whatever’s Saisonal smells like fruit-tinged bready malt. Its flavor is biscuit spiced with a light sage note and earthy bitterness. It also apparently has white tea in it, but I didn’t pick up on that, personally. The result is that this Linden Hills-brewed beer is very effervescent, interesting, and complex—much like a skinny trans woman who plays bass in an indie rock band, has been to almost as many art museums as bars, wears loud-patterned button ups, and seems to have a new girlfriend every three to four months.
Modist Brewing Co.: Alien Angel
NEIPA / 7.4% ABV / N/A IBU
Alien Angel is one of my favorite Hazy IPAs from Modist. Originally released as a one-off and brought back again this year, it’s stupid delicious. Its aroma is strawberries with a tropical fruit and citrus undertone. Its flavor is sweet citrus with a light rye spice edge and some of the drying on the palate that I associate with rye. There’s just enough carbonation to feel it tickle without being too much. This one is worth going to Modist’s North Loop taproom to try straight from the horse’s… tap—where I found it was still available as of this weekend.
Alien Angel is a nonbinary femme who wears pomegranate deodorant layered with just the barest hints of juicy citrus and floral perfume such that when they walk past you in their flirty linen number you’re caught between flashbacks to that time you stood in an orange grove at sunset and falling to your knees begging them to please look at you just the once as if that will fix you somehow.
Inbound BrewCo: Old Tricks
American Amber / 4.9% ABV / 15 IBU
With the old-timey logo and the dog carrying a pint on its nose on the can, Inbound is clearly evoking the rich tradition of homey American amber lagers à la Schell’s Amber and Grainbelt’s Nordeast. I love both of those beers, so I was excited to try Inbound’s take on the style. Old Tricks definitely connects with that tradition, but is somewhat fuller bodied and sweeter than other examples. Its aroma is sweet toasted malt, and its flavor is sweet malt with a light noble hop bitterness and a very light citrus note. The carbonation helps offset some of the sweetness for a refreshing finish.
Old Tricks is the futch bartender at your local lesbian sports bar. She has two carabiners clipped to the loops on her jeans. One is for her house key and the key to her ex’s place, whom she visits at least once a week because they’re still best friends, and who else is she going to go to Lynx games with? The other is for the keys to her artist space where she throws cute but sensible cups and dinnerware—on a pottery wheel older than god—that she sells to pregnant nesting straight women at the Kingfield Farmer’s Market in south Minneapolis.
