It’s famously and/or infamously hard to make friends in the Twin Cities. Chalk it up to Minnesotans’ passive-aggressive nature, the difficult-to-discern mannerisms associated with “Minnesota Nice,” the friend groups that have remained intact since grade school—either way, tell folks you’re moving to the Land of 10,000 Lakes, and they’re bound to tell you about two things: the brutal winters and the icy reception you’ll get from the locals.
The phenomenon is so embedded into our understanding of Minnesota culture that it has become the topic of countless panicked Reddit threads. But… is making friends in the Twin Cities really that hard? Or is that just another bit of Minnesota mythmaking?
Three of Racket’s four staff members are transplants, and while we don’t consider ourselves any more outgoing than the average person, we’ve all got robust networks of friends. Some of them are even born-and-bred Minnesotans!
Perhaps it’s simply the case that making friends as an adult can be difficult anywhere, and that doing so successfully will take a fair amount of effort and time.
At least, that’s the theme that emerged over the last month, as we chatted with dozens of Minnesota transplants to get their advice about making friends. Some of the folks whose wisdom appears below have been here for decades; others have been in the Twin Cities less than a year. But they’ve all been able to make friends, which is why we asked them about their tips on where to go, what to do, and how to get those darned lifelong locals to let their guards down.
“I’ve always found it pretty easy to make friends here, the biggest obstacle was always me not wanting to leave my apartment,” says one of the transplants we talked to.
Adds another: “Honestly, I don't know how folks who actually get out and do stuff don't make friends here.”
1. Become a regular.
Jaime moved to the Twin Cities in 2010, and when her younger sister followed in 2023, the advice she gave her sibling was simple: Be a regular.
“All the friends I made in Minneapolis I met because we frequented the same places—went to the same cafes, went to school together, worked together, lived in the same building,” she says. “I met my husband because he rode the light rail the same route as my roommate and they became friends.”
2. Go to shows.
“When I first moved here I followed Minneapolis Punk Calendar and UndercurrentMPLS on Instagram and started going to a buncha small shows,” says JT Wright, who moved to the Twin Cities three years ago. That’s how they met a lot of the people they’re still close with.
Lisa Metzbower, who moved to the Twin Cities in 2015, says her success in making friends “is mostly owed to First Ave’s membership program.” At the gold tier ($349), you get access to a private Facebook group, where members often post that they’ll be at a show and encourage other members to say hi.
“I posted in the private member group that I was going to my first show here in 2016 and asked if anyone wanted to meet,” Metzbower says, which led her to meet up with a woman there. “I still know her, and meeting one person led to meeting lots of other members and their friends.”
3. Join an adult sports league.
Broomball, bocce, kubb, kickball—the adult sports options in Minneapolis, St. Paul, and beyond are vast. There’s even Stonewall Sports, a great option if you’re looking for an explicitly LGBTQ+-friendly league. Don’t know enough people to field a full team? No problem! You can sign up as a free agent in most local leagues, and they’ll find a team for you.
“For me, I’ve made some friends through work—none are native Minnesotans—and through CSC, Cities Sports Connection, where I signed up as a free agent for softball and they placed me on a team that was almost all transplants too,” says Jon Sklaroff, who moved to Twin Cities about six years ago.
“My most successful strategy has been playing ultimate frisbee—the community around the sport is really great and I've met a good number of friends that way,” adds Bif Reiser, a Minneapolis resident since 2022.
4. Get involved in mutual aid efforts.
Naomi, who moved to the Twin Cities in 2022, says joining up with local mutual aid groups, which supply food and other resources to folks in need, has been a great way to get involved in the community and meet new friends. “I got to meet people in a similar stage of life—my mutual aid group has a lot of moms with young kids,” she says. “It’s also a great way to make connections with people who share your values.”
5. Or volunteer your time somewhere else.
Pat Thompson arrived in the Twin Cities in 1986. She immediately started volunteering weekly and met many people through that work, “including the person who ended up being my life partner.”
There are literally hundreds of organizations throughout Minnesota that rely on volunteers; we rounded up 60 of them last year and profiled a number of arts-related volunteer-powered organizations just last month. Whether it’s feeding neighbors, shelving books, defending reproductive rights, or protecting the outdoors, there’s an org out there that can use your time and skills, and it’s probably full of folks who have similar interests.
“Finding somewhere to volunteer on a regular basis is, IMO, the best way to meet people when you move somewhere new because you know the folks around you have some degree of free time and have a shared interest,” says Nickey Robo, who moved to the Twin Cities from Portland Oregon nearly 14 years ago and started volunteering at Boneshaker Books. “Now, many years later, everyone I worked with there has left and so have I, but the folks I met there are still my closest friends!”
6. Root for the home team.
I know, I know—certain allegiances to your city of origin might make this impossible. But even if you’ll never cheer for the Twins or the Vikings, you might have options. “I avoid Viking super fans as a Bears fan, but Minnesota United supporters feel different,” says Tim Bergslien, who moved to the area in 2015. “Since soccer is such a community sport, I find it easy to meet people at matches and bar watch parties and since I don’t have a rival rooting interest, it feels… safer?”
David Kelly, who moved to the Twin Cities nine years ago, agrees. He bought Minnesota United FC season tickets more or less on a whim back in 2017, thinking he could always sell them if he hated it. Then his first Loons match came, and, well: “The supporters' section was singing and chanting and drinking beer and four inches of snow fell and we got crushed, but it was an absolute party.” He was hooked, and eventually became involved with the Red Loons, a leftist, pro-labor supporters group.
“It helps to have common pre-defined spaces like the Black Hart and Allianz Field, and I now have a shared history and language with a ton of mostly born-and-bred Minnesotans,” he says. “These are people I have come to view as family who have helped me through some tough times.”
7. Go for a group bike ride.
Alex Poulos has lived in the Twin Cities for 14 years now, and her advice for new Twin Citians is simple: “Maybe just ride a bicycle.” Her transplant husband made “all his friends” on the Hub and Handup Racing teams, and if you don’t necessarily want to race, there are social rides just about every day of the week thanks to groups like Bone Saw Cycling Collective, Geno, Joyful Riders Club, and Angry Catfish.
“If you like bicycles, Minneapolis is the place to be,” adds Chris Bocklund, who arrived in the metro a little less than a year ago. “There are so many amazing bicycle groups that will keep you busy even throughout the winter.”
8. Or join a run club.
After moving to the Twin Cities in 2023, Ryan Murtha made most of his friends through Mill City Running, which hosts several weekly community runs out of its Minneapolis and St. Paul locations all year long.
“I think what works is 1.) get involved in a hobby you’re passionate about, then you’ll meet people with the same interest and already have that in common, which makes it relatively easy; and then 2.) you won’t need to make plans to hang out because you’ll naturally see them every Tuesday and Thursday, or every Monday/Wednesday/Friday, or whatever days your activity happens,” Murtha says.
9. Generally get outdoors.
Not everyone who lives in Minnesota is an outdoorsy type, but between the bike trails, lakes, and state parks, people do like to get outside here, even (and maybe especially) during the long winters.
If you don’t already identify as outdoorsy—maybe you didn’t grow up hiking, or you don’t often see people of your race or body type participating in group bike rides or cross-country skiing—there are also lots of local groups like Melanin in Motion and Fat Girls Hiking MN that are working to make the outdoors more accessible to all.
10. Grab a drink.
“I think what makes it easier [to make friends] here than in a lot of places is how good the restaurant, brewery, bar and live event scenes are,” says Adam Doctolero, who moved to the Twin Cities from California in 2004. “I've met a lot of people just grabbing a beer after work and chatting with people who happened to be sitting at a communal table, and some of those people have become good friends.”
For better or worse, booze really is a massive part of the culture in the Midwest, which makes the ol’ “let’s grab a drink” a pretty reliable way of connecting with someone new.
St. Paul’s Tom Basgen, who is not exactly a transplant but has some good advice for meeting locals, puts it this way: “If you dedicated yourself to three afternoon beers a week at the Groveland Tap you're going to be best friends with a guy named Ron in approximately one month.”
11. Or embrace sobriety.
Ash Chudgar was newly sober when he moved to St. Paul in 2009 and says he quickly found himself in the heart of the Twin Cities AA community.
“That was how I made friends instantly. I’m not in AA or sober any longer, but man, the community is stunningly welcoming,” Chudgar says. “I used to hear other transplants complain about how hard it was to make friends, and my stock answer was, ‘Could you maybe join AA?’ It was a joke but also kind of not!”
If a secular 12-step program is more your speed, we also hear great things about Dark Recovery at Duck Duck Coffee.
12. Be nice to your coworkers.
“My closest friends are people I’ve met through school and work,” says Morgan Alexander, who moved to the Twin Cities in 2017 and befriended a lifelong Minneapolitan at work the very next month. (She asked them to go see Call Me By Your Name.)
“Some people believe very strongly that work stays at work and personal life stays at home,” Alexander says. “I think that really closes the door on relationships, since you spend at least 40 hours at your job, but to each their own.”
13. Join a club for one of your interests—even if your interests are solo pursuits.
“My largest recommendation would be to join a club for one of your interests. Meetup, Facebook, Discord—there's a ton of ways to find clubs up here,” says Casey, a transplant from South Dakota who knew “effectively nobody” at the start of this year. “Minneapolis has such a wide diversity of scenes, hobbies, and interests, and all of those communities are incredibly open to newcomers in my experience.”
“Minneapolis has a robust cartoonist scene, and meet ups at coffee shops/bars are pretty frequent since it's a solitary pursuit and it's nice to get out of the house and talk to people,” adds Eric Schuster, who moved to the area in 2005. “They're always inviting to people of all ages and skill levels.”
14. Say “yes” to stuff.
“I had the mindset when I moved here: If someone asks you to do something, say yes! Even if it's not something you might typically do, it's a great way to meet new people or grow relationships,” says Becca Esche, who’s lived in the Twin Cities for about a year.
Maybe you don’t ride your bike too often, or know how to knit, or have experience canoeing or camping or climbing. If someone asks you to participate in one of those activities, push yourself to do it anyway—at least once.
“Like, I’m not the biggest drinker, but I say yes to a happy hour always,” says Josh Adams, who moved to the area in 2015. “The most recent example is a group of us from the Department of Human Services were talking about D&D at a work event. None of us had played, but we just said we’d figure it out. We’ve been playing since September 2024, and it’s the closest I’ve found to community since leaving Christianity (a whole other story) back in 2017.”
15. Say “yes, and…” to stuff.
“It’s a cliché, but I’m gonna say it: An improv class is an opportunity for people to listen, be authentic, build together, and laugh with each other,” says Erik Ostrom, who moved to the Twin Cities in 2010. “I made friends, and I got better at making friends. An incredible bargain.”
Wondering where to start? Lucky for you, we’ve got a whole story about the local improv community right here.
16. Check out local events.
“When I first came to the Cities, Racket’s “Freeloader Friday” was huge for me,” says Will Stokes, who relocated in 2021. “I would pick at least one event and go and meet some interesting people. The Twin Cities are a small enough community that if you keep going out to different places, you are gonna run into the same people.”
“Going to shows or events can be uncomfortable at first, but it’s really the most important step,” adds Jason Garcia, who moved to the Twin Cities in the late ’90s. “It’s also not helpful to expect a group to just open up and initiate every conversation, or specifically invite you to do things with them. There has to be some time spent ‘making friends.’”
17. Read Racket.
Hey, shameless plug, but Stokes isn’t the only transplant who said Racket has helped with a.) getting out of the house and b.) meeting new people.
“I literally buy a Racket gift subscription for friends when they move here because it saves them asking me where to go, where to eat, etc.,” says beloved supercommenter Taco Mike. If no one has gotten you a Racket subscription (yet), Instagram accounts Axios Twin Cities and Strib Going Out are both great, free resources for finding upcoming events.
18. Get a dog.
One of the transplants we spoke to for this story mentioned their involvement in Twin Cities Miniature Schnauzer Club, and there are enthusiast groups out there for all kinds of dog breeds: boxers, golden retrievers, pugs.
But you don’t need to have a particular breed affinity to make friends with your pup—my mutt and I are always meeting people on walks, and while we’re not exactly “dog park people,” I know folks who’ve met friends after setting up puppy play dates.
19. Host something.
Looking to celebrate a milestone or a niche holiday? Just have an idea for a weird get-together you think would be fun? What are you waiting for—send out the invites! This is the land of Stump Party, after all.
“When my kids were little I would throw enormous Halloween parties for children, with tons of fun activities, a bouncy castle, games, and treats. We'd get a keg for the parents and my husband would cook food, and we'd invite everyone we knew,” says Kate Derickson, who’s been a Minnesotan for about a decade now.
20. Take online friendships offline.
Greg K., who moved to the Twin Cities from New York City in 2017, says he’s found that the easiest way to make new friends is by starting with folks you meet online.
“Even back when I lived in NYC, I would meet people that I met online via forums or social media, usually just going to a game with them, or a movie, or simply grabbing a bite to eat,” he says, adding that his extroverted nature can be helpful in Minnesota. “But, ‘Hey, do you wanna hang out sometime?’ and going from there has also been the simplest way for me.”
“I know some people think that we are very mean, but getting involved in more of the Twin Cities Twitter community, and now on Bluesky, has helped me connect to more people whose values align with mine,” says Jene C., who moved to the area in 2011 (and first started making friends in Minneapolis via LiveJournal). “You don't have to be best friends with everybody, but it does help make you feel more connected to the city if you participate in less toxic online ecosystems than Nextdoor.”
21. You can even use an app.
When Christy Marsden first moved to Minnesota in 2017, her earliest friendships were established thanks to groups and clubs centered around her hobbies (board game meetups) and interests (urbanism advocacy).
But she also made “a great friend” through Bumble for Friends—which is like the dating app, except for friendship. “For making a friend with a Minnesotan, I have found the key is to be specific as to when and where you invite, and not being afraid to be the first to do such—or follow-up to continue the habit,” Marsden says.
22. Treat making friends like dating.
Bumble for Friends aside, making new friendships is “a lot like dating, you need to try it out and find things that work for you,” says Morgan Alexander.
You’re not going to connect with everyone you get a drink with, and that’s OK! You’re not going to vibe with every tabletop gaming group or sports team you join, and that’s OK! As in romantic relationships, you can’t force a friendship… although, maybe if a relationship isn’t in the cards, a friendship is?
“As a queer person my best friends in the city are my exes—don’t be afraid to stay friends with people you’ve dated!” says Meir Sedlis, a Twin Cities resident since 2013. And, in a town this size, you will bump into exes one way or another.
23. Go ahead: Befriend people through your kids.
Jim Oliver moved to the Twin Cities for grad school back in 2001, and many of his close friendships were forged thanks to other tips that appear on this list. Attending group bike rides helped him fall in with “other scumbag mountain bike types”; playing rec league soccer and D&D and regularly going to the Triple Rock (RIP) introduced him to other folks.
“Now, I make new friends like everybody else with kids does: through my kids' activities,” he says. “Association hockey and park board sports expose you to other kids and parents and you just try to find other stuff to do with the people that are cool... and there's lots of those.”
24. Just strike up a conversation.
Don’t overthink it—just start talkin’!
“I am a person who has moved a lot, across cities and countries, so I strike up conversations randomly,” says Sonali Pahwa, an academic who moved to the Twin Cities in 2014. “Like, seeing someone with a Columbia tote bag and saying, ‘Hey, I went to Columbia!’ is how I made a good friend at a bus stop.”
25. Consider St. Paul.
We’ve been using “Twin Cities” broadly here because the alleged standoffish nature of locals knows no borders, but is it possible that moving to the saintly city makes forging friendships easier? According to Lauren Erchul McCabe, a St. Paul resident for the last four years: yes!
“St. Paul, people seem to stick in their homes for longer periods of time,” she says, noting that folks in Minneapolis seemed a little more transient during her time there. She got involved in “neighborhood stuff” in St. Paul like district council events and National Night Out (“crap that gets neighbors chatting”), which also resulted in meaningful new friendships, as did pulling up a stool at St. Paul’s numerous dive bars.
“It feels like [there’s] more of a ‘WHO IS THE NEW GUY’ inquisitiveness, which results in number exchanges and neighborly favors and eventually friendship,” she continues.
26. Go dancing.
Swing dancing, tango, line dancing, salsa—there are lots of places to go dancing in the Twin Cities, from night clubs to dance studios to breweries.
(We’re partial to the Eagles #34, where you can also catch a punk show and play pulltabs.)
27. Get involved in local politics.
“I’ve already extolled the virtues of local politics in this fine publication, but I only briefly touched on how it builds human connection,” says Dan Suitor, who moved to Minneapolis in 2019. In fact, he can trace the start of certain friendships to a single tweet: when he attended his first City Council meeting and accidentally sat on camera wearing a hat that read “DAD.”
“I don’t want to argue for policy positions as a strict litmus test for friendship,” he continues. “I have dear friends who I disagree with on many issues of local importance, and I’m sure some of my views annoy people I otherwise get on famously with. Some views could be disqualifying, for sure (trans rights, basic belief in our constitutional order, etc.). But what makes politics an excellent friend-vetting system is that you can see who is willing to put in the effort for what (and whom) they care about.”
“It’s easy to find heated discussions online (which can be a turn off), but there are also lots of people who are more open and accessible in local politics here than anyplace else I’ve lived,” Jason Garcia agrees. “There are groups and events that cater to all sorts of ideologies and interests, and those people WILL talk to you!”
28. Connect with other transplants.
In discussing how hard it can be to make friends in Minnesota, people often trot out that old adage about how Minnesotans will give you directions anywhere except their house. And, according to another similar adage, you've not truly broken through their icy shells until you score a coveted cabin invite.
But you don’t get any bonus points for befriending born-and-bred Minnesotans, and there are thousands of transplants here—folks like Charles Youel, who moved to town in 1987.
“It seems like a lot of the people I’ve had the easiest time connecting with have been fellow transplants,” Youel says. “Maybe it’s the shared experience thing. But it does get around trying to crack friend groups that have been around since grade school.”
29. Be direct.
“If you like a Minnesotan and want to get to know them better, be direct about it!” Meir Sedlis says. “The friend groups they’ve had forever might just let you in, especially if you can help facilitate get-togethers. Plan events and ask your new acquaintance to invite their besties. It’s awkward, but it works.”
“I’m not shy about saying ‘let’s hang out’ because I TRULY MEAN IT,” adds Rebeca Ho, a former Texan who’s been in the Twin Cities since 2010. “The Southern hospitality can come off strong to some folks, but how can you build community if you’re not willing to dive in?”
30. Try out for roller derby.
Amanda Pomerleau moved to the Twin Cities in 2012 and figured that making friends would be pretty easy—after all, it had been during her undergrad years at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. But the reality proved trickier: “While I had some close friends here, I was never able to be fully part of the friend group,” she says. There was always a feeling that she was on the periphery, not able to break through.
“Then I joined roller derby, in large part to meet people,” she says. Pomerleau started with the Satellites, the recreational league, and then tried out for and made it into their summer training program and eventually a home team. “I pretty quickly found my people, and now most of my closest friends are current or former leaguemates,” she says.
31. Take a class.
Fun thing about taking a class: Everyone has their guard down a little, and is maybe a little vulnerable, because they’re learning something new. Whether you’re interested in cooking, glassblowing, metalsmithing, sewing, or just about anything else, there’s a class for you—and even if you don’t make a friend right away, you’ll at least leave with a new skill or something cool that you made.
32. Go to a rock-climbing gym.
“The climbing community is one of the most friendly spaces to get into,” says Lillian Baker, who moved to the Twin Cities with her family about a year and a half ago. “After all, everyone needs a belay partner.”
Baker adds that there are a number of affinity groups in the area that can help you get started and introduce you to other climbers: BIPOC Beta, Queer Beta, OutClimb, Femme Climbing Coalition, and Climb ASL. Or, simply hit up Minneapolis Bouldering Project or Vertical Endeavors.
33. Join your neighborhood’s Buy Nothing group.
Buy Nothing groups are more than just a way to get cool free stuff while unloading unused items in your own home (though they are that, too)! They’re also a way to connect with folks who live near you, because the groups are localized to specific neighborhoods and communities. You can find your group here.
34. Get a customer-facing job.
When Andrew Gebo moved to the Twin Cities from California in 2018, he took on a second job at a Lunds & Byerlys liquor store. “I made friends with ‘regular,’ customers and colleagues. It’s also a great way to meet people in your neighborhood,” he says.
35. Keep showing up. (And be patient.)
Adam Iverson moved to the Twin Cities in 2007, at age 28, and quickly got a job tending bar at Sweeney’s in St. Paul, where he’d work for the next 10 years.
“During my time there, I coached many transplants through the difficult process of making friends in the Cities. My usual advice was ‘just keep showing up for five to 10 years,’” he says. “Anything more I have to add would be tacked onto ‘just keep showing up,’ and would be ‘on time, whenever possible.’”
36. Be a good friend.
There are some universal truths about friendship that apply here in the Twin Cities and just about everywhere else. Among them? “Making friends requires work, care, and attention,” says Kate Derickson.
“I pride myself on being a good friend—the person you call in a crisis, who will come pick you up when your car breaks down, pick your kid up from practice if you're tied up in a meeting, meet you for a drink when you're spiraling about a work problem, check on your house when you're out of town, or host your dog when you go into labor,” she says. “I do these things because I want to, but also because you have to be a good friend to have good friends.”
