What It’s Like to Sell a Really Big Shoe

You know what they say about big shoes: That they're hot-selling items on Facebook Marketplace.

That's Maggie Faris's experience, at least. The delightful Twin Cities standup comic recently unloaded a jumbo clog, one that attracted dozens of prospective buyers and gripped the attention of my Twitter followers Monday afternoon.

We caught up with Faris by phone for a play-by-play of the novelty shoe exchange. You can score tickets to her two-night, four-show Pride comedy showcase at Sisyphus Brewing⁠—featuring six comics, "booby prizes," and salty snacks Friday and Saturday nights—right here.

Let’s start at the beginning. Where and when did you acquire that large shoe? 

OK, so my friend Beth, she had a weird club with her friends called like, Odd Items. I don’t even know what it was called; they made up fake brochures and everything. They’d just find weird shit and give it to each other. So somebody gave her the shoe, and she loved it for many years. She had to make room for something, and said, “I’m getting rid of the shoe.” I said: “You can’t get rid of the shoe, the shoe is awesome, it’s so great!" And the next day the shoe was in my yard.

Wow. When was that? 

Probably like two years ago. 

So you got the shoe for free? 

Yes, I did get the shoe for free. [Laughs.]

We’re looking at a little markup here…

Yes! I made $80. 

How big is the shoe, weight, length, all that? 

Ya know, it’s not that heavy. It’s probably a light plastic. It’s at least six feet long, maybe two-and-a-half feet high.

Your home in Roseville: Did people love the shoe when they’d come visit it?

Absolutely. It was a great photo-op when we had guests. They’d jump in it, take a picture, pretend they’re driving it… I don’t know why, but people loved to drive the shoe.

You mentioned a real specific make of clog. What can you tell me about that? 

Well, this shoe had no brand. But it’s as close to the Dansko clog as you can get. Actually, I saw that more people search “Dansko” than just “clog.”

So you did your market research? 

Well, I mean, I know a Dansko clog. It’s what all the nurses wear. 

OK, OK. I’m pretty clog ignorant, so I appreciate that. So you post it on Facebook Marketplace, my dumb tweet gets a lot of attention… did you already find a buyer? I can’t find the listing. 

That’s because I sold it last night. 

No way, who’d you sell it to? 

Dude, I got probably 30 inquiries about it. So I went with the first person, and was like, “If you can get here tonight, come get it.” Well then last night, I work for MnDOT, and I got called into work because there was a million blowouts. I was at work trying to coordinate with them to come get the shoe. They ended up coming to get the shoe and put the money in the BBQ grill. This lady, her name is Audrey Rose Vintage, she has like a vintage store, and she’s going to put it outside to attract more guests. 

Did the flood of messages come after my tweet?

I’d say half before, half after. 

I wanna take credit for this, and maybe get a cut of this $80 bucks... 

Yeah, you can take some. Half the credit, how about that? 

Sure! On an emotional level, does it feel good that the shoe has found a good home, rather than a home you couldn’t really trust? 

Yes! I’m way happier that the shoe will be seen by people. It’s probably better there than at my home in Roseville; it’s hidden there. 

Anything shoe-related we didn’t touch on? 

There were a lot of weird questions when people were inquiring about the shoe. Like, “I don’t really want the shoe, but I want to know if the shoe finds a good home” and “I’m just curious what the story is with the shoe.” People were more interested in knowing about the shoe than actually buying the shoe. 

Well that makes me feel like that this silly little article might have a purpose then, if people care about the shoe. 

Yeah, yeah. 

Your Pride shows. Give us a little plug for those. 

This is probably the seventh, eight, ninth year of my Pride shows at Sisyphus. I just try to have a showcase of different LGBTQ+ artists, comedians, and just celebrate. Laugh and have a good time. They’re usually just packed.