Welcome to Weed Weviews, a verbal foible that’s become the very real name of this monthly column. Think of it like our Doin’ Beers series, but for weed. Alright, let's do this!
Real Trees: Honey Crisp Apple
About: St. Paul beer makers BlackStack Brewing also have a line of 10 mg tallboys made with simple ingredients (the most complicated component on the list is tetrahydrocannabinol—aka the weed).
Where I got it: Pretty sure it was $6 at Marigold.
Flavor: This is pretty much carbonated apple juice and I love it. If you’re a fan of those NA “champagne” bottles they sell at grocery stores (I am!) then this is going to hit. It smells like apple, not weed. It’s not overly sweet though it is pleasantly honeyed on the back end. And, unlike NA champagne, it will get you buzzy.
Blast-off time: Probs around 20-ish minutes. I downed this like a four year old who loves their juice.
Experience: A nice 10 mg high.
Milano Gummies
About: Italian-trained chef Simone D’Antonio teamed up with Luca Vincenzini to co-found Mammamia, a Los Angeles-based THC company putting out cannabinoid-laced chocolates, gummies, and communion wafers. Mamma mia indeed!
Where I got it: $40 at Marigold.
Flavor: Before we get to the flavor I gotta address the bonkers packaging, which shouts “CHIC YOUR SH*T” and “FIZZY & SASSY” while instructing the user to “Eat me slow.” How do you eat a gummy slow?
Look at this—that’s a mini Play-Doh container, right? When you squeeze the sides the lid explodes off, revealing that this comes packed within an inch of its life.
According to the packaging, the flavor is supposed to be reminiscent of an orange spritz. What I got at first was bubble gum, then fruit punch. It’s sweet. It’s fruity. It's candy. I like it.
Blast-off time: These are supposed to be fast acting. For me, it's not. I’ve only found one or two products that actually are (Zuuz’s Tarts is one of ‘em). But once they get started, these 10 mg Milano Gummies act fast. Expect a 0 to 100 brick wall experience 20 or so minutes later.
Experience: I did not find myself to be fizzy or sassy, nor was I chic. These are 10 mg gummies, and since it’s hard to nibble a sticky gummy slowly, I ate it all at once. Which means, unlike a drink, it hit me all at once—a flattening experience. I don’t think this is a good party drug but I also don’t think 10 mg at once works for personal reflection or relaxation either. I kinda of felt like I had taken cough syrup.
These are not beginner gummies or for lightweights. For me, it was fine; I’ve never felt overwhelmed by the effects of weed. But this could be panic-attack city for people prone to drug anxiety.
The following week, I retried them using the scores on the gummies to split the dose in half and it was a much better experience, making me just dumb enough to be able to enjoy the two-plus hour He-Man movie. I have the power (to modify my highs!)!
Piffton’s Layer Cake Lemonade
About: In addition to selling NA mixers, liquors, syrups, and canned cocktails, northeast Minneapolis restaurant/distillery Earl Giles also has a line of THC bevvies. Its Art & Rev line makes the strongest canned vodka soda I have ever had—11.5% alc/vol?!
Where I got it: Picked this up for $5 at a Longfellow gas station while my friend filled her tank.
Flavor: When I cracked this bad boy open, it smelled like weed and artificial almond. Almond flavoring is certainly a strong component, which was unexpected but not bad. Overall, it tastes like a mix of lemonade, weed, almond liqueur, and maybe a dash of cinnamon. It’s cakey upfront with a tart, juicy finish. Oh, and it’s carbonated. Not bad, but I’d like to see Earl Giles branch out from lemonade- and citrus-based THC drinks.
Blast-off time: About 30 minutes.
Experience: It’s a 10 mg drink, though for me the effects were on the lighter end.
Foundry Nation’s Two Scoops
About: I tried the root beer flavor last month and had to come back for more. These guys know their soda fountain flavors.
Where I got it: Found it for $7 at 36 Lyn, right next to the locally made energy drinks and cold-press fruit juice (this is a classy gas station, y’all).
Flavor: I went for the cream soda flavor this time, and it tastes just like the creamy, caramel stuff I drank as a kid. Think A&W or New York Seltzer brands. a Add a scoop of vanilla and you'd have a killer float.
Blast-off time: 30 minutes.
Experience: This is a full-sugar soda with 10 mg of THC, so it’s a nice energy booster if you’re a midday stoner rather than a midnight toker.
