Weed Weviews: 4 Things I Tried in December

Welcome to Weed Weviews, a verbal foible that’s become the very real name of this monthly column. Think of it like our Doin’ Beers series, but for weed.

Alright! Let's do this!

Dangerous Man Brewing’s Canna Blissed Tonic

About: The Northeast taproom may have closed in October, but they're still putting out good stuff in stores via their production site in Maple Lake. That includes three kinds of weed bubbly. I opted for the Mandarin Orange Dreamsicle with 10mg THC and 4.5mg CBD.

Where I got it/price: $7 for a can at Marigold in Minneapolis.

Flavor: Delightful! This is has that creamsicle goodness without hitting you over the head like a soda would. The mandarin notes in this are softer, maybe even softer than a LaCroix. Here the citrus is merely a “zing!” to the cream-forward flavor, which has a pleasant honeyed taste with a tiny bit of herbaceousness. 

Blast-off time: 15 minutes.

Experience: Pretty relaxing. I watched a couple of episodes of Bodies on Netflix, did a crossword, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. I would definitely buy this again.

Oliphant Brewing’s Strawberry Kiwi Kushy

About: Judging from their website, this Somerset, Wisconsin, brewery was destined to get into THC drinks. The taproom looks like a Garbage Pail Kid threw up (I swear mean that in a good way!), and they make brews called “Dracula Weed,” “Peanut Butter Rodent,” and “Teenage Muten Ninja Roshi.” I mean, look at this dude:

Where I got it/price: $7 for a can at Marigold in Minneapolis.

Flavor: I was hoping for something in the ballpark of this Snapple drink, which I used to enjoy as a teen while watching Beverly Hills 90210 on the super-old, ‘70s-era wood grain TV I had in my bedroom growing up. (You had to turn it on 30 minutes before your show or it would be too static-y to watch.) The Strawberry Kiwi Kushy (10mg THC, 5 mg CBD) nailed this vibe. It was sugary as fuck, with a little more strawberry coming through over the kiwi. It also reminded me of Faygo. Juggalos: This might be the canned weed for you! 

Blast-off time: 15 minutes.

Experience: Strong! This one was nice and strong. I played Spider-Man: Miles Morales on my Playstation for an hour then switched to watching dog grooming videos on YouTube. It was a good evening.

Utopia Borealis Mapleau

About: “A farm to sip” beverage, this drink is made with Minnesota water, Minnesota hemp extracts, and Minnesota maple syrup.

Where I got it/price: $8 a can, once again at Marigold. 

Flavor: I didn’t know I needed this in my life, but I did. I love adding a splash of maple syrup to my coffee as a treat, but it never occurred to me to try it in carbonated water. It works! It’s not overly sweet; more of a loud whisper (yes, I know that is an oxymoron) of maple goodness that allows the refreshing H2O shine, too. There’s 5mg of THC and 5mg of CBD here, making it the weed equivalent of that glass of wine/pint of beer you have before seeing a movie in the theater with friends.

Blast-off time: Probably 15-20 minutes? 

Experience: This was a mild, smooth ride. Nothing here to knock you out, just vibes.

BLNCD’s Chocolate THC Caramels

About: This women-owned brand got their start making CBD drinks and beauty products before adding THC into the mix. 

Where I got it/price: This was sent to me in a PR package, but you can pick these guys up for $25 for five pieces on their site. One serving has 5mg of THC.

Flavor: Oh dang, these are good. Man, this month was just full of bangers. So, the caramel doesn’t taste like the mass produced stuff you get from Target, grocery stores, or gas stations (don’t judge!). This stuff is more like the buttery smooth, melt-away caramel you make in your kitchen or find in an old-timey candy store. The chocolate coating is fine, but doesn’t get in the way–caramel is the star here. The sea salt on top counters the sugar just right.

Blast-off time: Around 45 minutes. 

Experience: I was worried that these were going to be a (tasty) dud. I ate one of these buddies after dinner and set about making some holiday cookies. By the time things were in the oven, I still wasn’t feeling that “one-drink buzz.” But! By the time my treats were on the rack cooling I was nice and stoned. They may take a bit to work their magic, but when they do they are surprisingly strong. Eat these with dinner and the stream a movie; it’ll hit you about halfway through.