Teen Crime Spree Weekend!!!

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Chaos in Woodbury!

On Saturday afternoon, shit got wild in and around the Woodbury Cabela's store. According to workers, "several teens were involved in a disturbance and shoplifting incident," one that included the attempted theft of Airsoft guns and pistol magazines, Bring Me the News reports. Things grew nuttier as the seven kids—ages 12 to 15—became "associated with a stolen vehicle," per the very cop-y language provided by cops, and hauled ass to Lake Elmo via County Road 13. Police stopped the getaway car after a few miles but the kids fled on foot, prompting a chase that involved K9 cops, drone cops, and human cops. The youngsters were taken into custody; the incidents remain under investigation. Remarkably, as Bring Me the News reports, there was another, unrelated incident of teen car chases in Woodbury over the weekend. Four teens produced the wild footage you see below on Saturday. The manufacturer of their particular joyride vehicle, Kia, has become a popular theft target of late, due to some security glitch that allows thieves to start the cars with USB cables.

Kim Crockett Is the Worst

Terrible person Kim Crockett, the GOP nominee for Minnesota Secretary of State, is under fire for speaking out loud again. You may remember Crockett as the Center for the American Experiment official who said this about Somali-born Minnesotans to the New York Times: “These aren’t people coming from Norway, let’s put it that way. These people are very visible.” Now Crockett is getting blowback for a 2020 comment unearthed by the Huffington Post. “So the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled that indeed you can help an unlimited number of people vote if they are disabled or can’t read or speak English, which raises the question, should they be voting?” Crockett said in a radio interview at the time, adding, "But we can talk about that another time."

Hm, seems like a good time to talk about that now, what with elections coming up and all. Do Republicans think non-English speakers and the disabled should be banned from voting? Crockett is also cited in this MPR story about the new wave of GOP operatives seeking to undermine election law. She ‘s quoted as calling the 2020 election a "train wreck" (it wasn't) and saying state election officials used the pandemic "cover to change how we vote, but also how the vote is counted" (they didn't).

Let’s Just Ban the Word “Divisive”

Ever notice how people disagree about stuff? In public even? The Becker School District in central Minnesota has hit upon a novel way to circumvent this age-old problem: Don’t let anyone talk about stuff people disagree about. In July the school board proposed banning “the teaching of inherently divisive concepts,” a vague and almost certainly unenforceable action that has the teachers union and ACLU ready to sue. For the origins of this ridiculous plan, we’ve got to rewind to March, when students protested the school board's invitation to the anti-gay Child Protection League to speak a meeting. That invitation was itself a response to community outrage that OutFront Minnesota had given its own board presentation. So what's divisive here is basically "non-heterosexuality," and this is the "friendly" Midwestern version of “don’t say gay.”

Suck It, White Claw! THC Seltzer Is a Thing Now.

From La Croix sparkling water to the plethora of hard seltzers on the market, these days people are really into carbonated water. And now, folks looking to get a little stoned can lay off the gummies and down a THC-infused drink. Last month, Minneapolis Cidery launched Trail Magic, a non-alcoholic beverage that comes in two flavors–pineapple and mixed berry–and is loaded with 3 milligrams of Delta 9 THC. Also getting in early on this local trend, Indeed Brewing will be releasing their first NA THC sparkler today. Too Good is a lavender lemon drink laced with 2 milligrams of THC and 2 milligrams CBD. The drink goes up for sale at 3 p.m. today when the brewery opens for business. Indeed also plans to bring back Lull, its CBD drink that boasts 10 milligrams of the stuff. The company had to cease production of that item in 2018 when the Minnesota Department of Agriculture sent them a warning that CBD was illegal. Now that we’re a lawless stoner state, we can’t wait to see what new brews come next.