Welcome to Event Horizon, your weekly roundup of the best events in Minneapolis, St. Paul, and beyond.
TUESDAY 3.17
60th Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade
Downtown St. Paul
That’s right, St. Paul’s St. Paddy’s parade is turning 60 this year. Once again, a variety of organizations, politicians, community groups, bagpipers, beauty queens, and sports teams will form a sea of green that washes over our capital city while spectators cheer them on. Some watchers will be day-drinking; others are just celebrating on their lunch hour. If you fall into the former category, you can head to CHS Field before the parade for free music and Baileys samples, as well as beer for purchase (find more info on that here). Noon. The parade begins at Mears Park, travels along Fifth Street, and ends at Rice Park; find more info here.—Jessica Armbruster
Free Rides
Everywhere!
Planning to get blasted on green beer tonight? Need a way home from work? Or maybe you’re just a regular rider who’ll be running errands on a Tuesday? No matter why you’re hopping a bus, you won’t have to pay $2-$3.25 to get where you’re going today, because after 6 p.m. all Metro Transit buses, the METRO Blue and Green lines, and the Minnesota Valley Transit Authority are free. If you’re staying out late, make sure you still have a backup plan; many routes get busier as the night wears on and buses don’t stop if they reach rider capacity. Find more info here, but don’t expect an explanation as to what free-ride funder Miller Lite means by its event slogan, “Top o’ the mornin’ to Irish goodbye.” Maybe they were drunk when they wrote it? —Jessica Armbruster
WEDNESDAY 3.18
CupcakKe
Varsity Theater
Damn, you think you do a pretty job keeping up with new music. Then you realize one of your favorite rappers dropped a track called "One of My Bedbugs Ate My Pussy" last fall and you missed out on it completely. Rest assured, that track lives up to its title; there’s even a filthy take on “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” tucked in there. And the rest of this Chicago rapper’s latest album, The BakKery, lives up to her high (low?) standards, with tracks like “Fist Me” filthy enough to make Blowfly blush. There’s no feeling quite like chanting along to CupcakKe’s pornographic raps with a crowd full of fellow fans. $101 and up. 7 p.m. 1308 SE Fourth St., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Keith Harris
THURSDAY 3.19
Laughing Matter: Comedy Night at WAM
Weisman Art Museum
To celebrate the Weisman’s current exhibition, “Laughing Matter,” IRL yuks will fill the funky Gehry-designed museum that, let’s be honest, you’ve not visited in far too long. Headlining is the very funny Ali Sultan, a Yemeni-Ethiopian comic from NYC whose career began in Minneapolis; his 2022 special, The Nicest People Are Super Creepy, has notched almost 2 million YouTube views. Maggie Faris, the one-time owner of a large shoe, will also perform, as will the UMN Comedy Club. A cash bar with “light bites”? There’ll be one. $25; $15 for students, staff, faculty, and WAM members. 6-8 p.m. 333 E. River Rd., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Jay Boller
Archival Footage Bingo
Minnesota History Center
To hear the MNHS Digital Media Archives team tell it, two of their favorite things are archival footage (this tracks) and bingo (huh!). The twain shall meet for a game night where the “rules for bingo remain the same, just replace the bingo ball cage with a reel of gems from our MNHS collections,” organizers explain. We're talking historical clips, home movies, local TV news nuggets, and other goodies from the History Center vault. In a way, you’ll be a winner simply by attending, considering museum admission and parking are gratis during bingo. Free; registration recommended. 4-8 p.m. 345 W. Kellogg Blvd., St. Paul; find more info here.—Jay Boller
SATURDAY 3.21
MN Bars Bake Sale
Graze Food Hall by Travail
Ever had Andrew Zimmern’s pecan brown butter bars? What about Jeremy Messersmith’s lemon bars? Or blondies baked by former Strib food critic Rick Nelson? You’ll have a chance to try ‘em all at this MN Bars Bake Sale, where you can buy bars from over 40 home bakers to benefit the Salt Cure Restaurant Recovery Fund. Individual bars are $4, a baker’s dozen is $50, and you can get a six-pack of “star bars” (baked by Zimmern, Messersmith, and other local celebs), for $60 (plus taxes and fees). Bake sale 12-2 p.m., DJ 2-4 p.m. 520 N. Fourth St., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Em Cassel
Rondo Exchange Grand Opening
The Rondo Exchange
As you (should!) know, the construction of I-94 through the '50s and '60s gutted the cultural center of St. Paul's Black community. Atonement has been slow, but the 1993 creation of the Rondo Community Land Trust, the state’s first commercial land trust, aimed to restore “shared equity, community ownership, and mutual control” of the historic neighborhood. Today at the intersection of Victoria & Selby, Rondo CLT will christen a new, 2,800-square-foot business incubator called the Rondo Exchange. The first generation of incubating businesses include KP Inspires, Briinoi, Mind the Crown, and BLovely Production & Lamae Photography, and you’re invited to join mural artists, DJs, and neighbors in welcoming them with free snacks from anchor tenant Golden Thyme Cafe. (GTC’s delicious po’boy is the size of your arm.) “Unlike a traditional retail strip or co-working space, Rondo Exchange combines affordable commercial space, embedded one-on-one technical assistance, shared services, and gallery space with point-of-sale support," explains Felicia Perry of Rondo CLT. "While commercial spaces focus on rent collection, Rondo Exchange focuses on long-term viability, ownership pathways, and community wealth-building.” Free. 1-4 p.m. 856 Selby Ave., St. Paul; find more info here.—Jay Boller
Brewlabs Battle v2
Bauhaus Brew Labs
A few years ago, Racket introduced you to the Twin Cities Wyverns, our local armored combat squad. Also known as Historical Medieval Battles or buhurt, this sport isn’t scripted or staged; people really don head-to-toe armor and go at it, fighting with halberds, swords, and dual-wields. “If you’re thinking of the show fights you’ve seen at Ren Fest or Medieval Times, those are pro wrestling in armor. This is like the MMA version of that,” Matt Eddy wrote. It’s something to behold. And since that story, the local femme armored combat team the Flowers of Battle has relaunched. They’ll take on the Wyverns today at Bauhaus Brew Labs for an afternoon of free, family-friendly fighting. Free. 4 p.m. doors, 5 p.m. fights. 1227 NE Tyler St., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Em Cassel
Pissfest featuring Vial
Varsity Theater
How many times do you have to hold an event before it can be considered a tradition? This is Vial’s third Pissfest, and I say that counts. The Minneapolis trio of guitarist KT Branscom, singer/drummer Katie Fischer, and singer/bassist Taylor Kraemer aptly call their style “brat-punk,” which nails the ranty, unrelenting sound of their second full-length, Hellhound. It’s a melodic but brash blur of 13 songs rushing past you in less than half an hour, spiked with lyrics like “I'll blend up your brains and make a creep smoothie.” With Alex Vile, Cheap Perfume, Anita Velveeta, and Virginia’s Basement. $29-$60. 5:30. 1308 SE Fourth St., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Keith Harris
SUNDAY 3.22
New Edition, Boyz II Men, Toni Braxton
Target Center
That’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees New Edition to you, pal. And why not? For a few years during the G.H.W. Bush administration, New Edition alums dominated radio, redefining R&B for the hip-hop era. That was the heyday of new jack swing, with Bobby Brown declaring his prerogative, Bell Biv DeVoe getting nasty, Johnny Gill getting paid, and Ralph Tresvant getting sensitive. What’s more, their teenybop hits “Cool It Now” and “Mr. Telephone Man” remain wonderful. And the memories don’t stop there tonight. Boyz II Men created a new male harmony group sound that white boy bands would take to the bank, and Braxton’s husky voice defined the upscale version of R&B well into the ’00s. $73-$608. 7 p.m. 600 N. First Ave., Minneapolis: find more info here.—Keith Harris
ONGOING
Agnès Varda’s Visions
Walker Art Center
Filmmaker Agnès Varda led a full personal and artistic life, dying in 2019 just two days before her 91st birthday—among her colleagues and rivals in the French New Wave, only Godard outlived her. This monthlong series, which showcases her incredible range of styles and interests, closes this week with the utopian One Sings, the Other Doesn’t and her final film, the retrospective Varda by Agnès. Fun fact I just learned: Jim Morrison attended her daughter’s 10th birthday and passed out at the kids’ table. 725 Vineland Place, Minneapolis; find showtimes and more info here. Through March 21—Keith Harris
Ukrainian Lenten Fish Fry
Ukrainian American Community Center
Delicious options for Ukrainian solidarity exist right here in Minnesota. Consider this Lenten fish fry, which benefits both the Ukrainian American Community Center and the Cheremosh Ukrainian Dance Ensemble. We’re talking generous plates of fried fish, coleslaw, French fries, and—crucially—varenyky (aka perogi). Beer and wine are available via the cash bar; ambiently positive geopolitical vibes are available for all diners. Also, gotta mention it: This animated fish chef is worth the price of admission. $15 adults; $10 kids 6-12; free for kids under 6. 4:30-7 p.m. 301 NE Main St., Minneapolis; find more info here. Fridays through March 27—Jay Boller
Bad Company: 19 Films Featuring Evil Corporations
Trylon, Emagine Willow Creek
What do Alien, Josie & the Pussycats, Robocop, and They Live have in common? If you answered “they’re all among Em Cassel’s favorite movies of all time,” you would be correct—but they also all feature terrible corporations doing terrible things. Throughout March, the Trylon and Emagine Willow Creek bring you Bad Company: 19 Films Featuring Evil Corporations. Whether they want to control the water supply (Tank Girl), or the broadcast signals (Network), or they’re just doing something sinister with super sharks (Deep Blue Sea, which is screening in 35mm), these greedy bastards will stop at nothing to get their way… not unlike, ya know, every corporation that exists in the real world today. Find the full film lineup and get tickets here. Through March 31—Em Cassel
“Cats and Dogs in Soviet Art: Workers, Teachers, Friends”
The Museum of Russian Art
Pet obsession is nothing new. Pre-internet, folks were just as into their animals, relying on them for comfort, amusement, and help with everyday work tasks. For this show at TMORA, there’ll be 40 paintings on display celebrating cats, dogs, and other animal companions, as well as a collection of porcelain cat and canine figurines. Stevens Ave., Minneapolis; find more info here. Through July 12—Jessica Armbruster
