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Read 150+ Locally Themed Weed Haikus from Racket Subscribers

To win weed, readers were asked to become poets.

3:11 PM CST on February 13, 2023

Unsplash; MS Paint

Typically, when our friends at Baja Ontario let us do giveaways of their wonderful THC edibles, we simply ask Racket subscribers via email to shout “GIMME THAT WEED,” resulting in hilariously bloated inboxes.

Las Friday, as we prepared to give away five of Baja’s new and romantic Sweethearts Baja-trois Box (a very intentional $69 value each) ahead of Valentine's Day, we decided to try something different. We wanted to make readers work for the prizes, and hopefully have a little fun in the process. So we challenged 'em to email us with an original weed-themed haiku—bonus points for a local tie-in. The right to publish submissions? We reserved it, though we promised to keep everything anonymous; nobody's employer needs to know they're writing THC poetry to local news/arts/culture websites.

Without further ado, here are the five winning haikus:

Jesse Ventura
Said "Legalize cannabis"
I agree with him

Are you telling me
That this whole arch bridge is stoned?
That’s fucking wild, man

Legislative ope
Means now I can eat some dope
Not too bad, ya know?

Warm air on my face
Kris Lindahl spreads his arms wide
I'm high on Lyndale

Land of 3.2 Beer
Now sells weed in grocery stores
What the fuck is that


And here are the rest! Some are great, some are fine, and some aren't technically haikus. But, crucially, they're all free content for our website. We were blown away by the volume of the responses, another routine reminder that we've got the best, most weed-motivated readers in the biz. Enjoy!


The more weed we have
The better we all feel here
Makes snow mounds feel warm

Give this to my ex
So we hook up in my car
Behind chipotle

Why am I so good
At this pinball game right now
It's the edible

Minnesota should
Stop being such a lightweight
Just legalize it!

Lake ice crackles loud,
Weed smoke rises like a mist
Winter's chill now melts 

Please pass me the green
Need some weed with Hennessy
Minneapolis

Give me that dank weed
Minneapolis
Has a large red spoon

Walz says that he will
Work towards legalization
But until then...please?

Giveaways are fun
Not sure I've ever won one
Gimme that weed please

Edibles are good
Milk chocolate cherry spoon?
Sculpture garden highs

Clueless right praise thee
Legalized for you and me
High as I can be

Minnesota weed
Twas divine intervention
We can now imbibe

Alcohol? No thanks. 
I'm Minnesota sober 
Please sir, weed only

That sticky icky
Turning me to purple rain
Legalize it, Walz

Seeking a calm mind
Edibles on the river
Stillwater beckons

Norton had a frunk
Then he had a weed shop
All under 40

Breweries pivot fast!
THC is edible
Drinkable at last

Not from Edina
But when the munchies kick in
I WILL eat the cake 

Low-dose edibles
Will you be my valentine?
Ope! Sweet cannabis.

I do like weed but
Lisa Goodman, I am not
Smoke one for Ward 7

Fell asleep in jeans
All cars behind me are cops
Dry red itchy eyes

Gimme that weed please
Please gimme that gummy box
Weed weed gimme kush

I like weed a lot
My mom says it’s bad for you
I like weed a lot

Good girl, A student
Never tried, 'til legal made
Now mellow all day

Writing a weed poem
Since THC is legal
Sort of, anyway

When I close my eyes
I see bright music inside
Each note, a color.

From slick 7th West
Sweet clouds carry to Baja 
Warmer winds await 

As a Racket Fan
I am delighted to send
This email for weed

Gentle waves of bliss
Caress like a lover’s kiss
When this edi hits

Can't afford a trip
Where it's warm, but I can let
My mind go with weed

I like when weed is
Given to me free of cost
I live in St. Paul

Valentine's-themed weed?
I'll get high and take myself
To the MOA

You are way too high
This is the rest of your life
Your mom knows as well…

Silos long empty
The smell of the grain mill gone
Replaced by dank smoke

Golden-green quietude
As leaves in autumn floating
'Round Phalen at dusk

For my local weed
Nothing but Hemp is my spot
Free weed is better

I long for the day
To be at the Triple Rock
Stoned out my mind

A bag tears open
Scents overwhelm your senses
A moment, then bliss

Stoned in line again 
Unexpected item in
Bagging area

In Minneapolis' air
Herbal smoke rises high and slow
Peaceful mind unwinds. 

Chewing THC
Indoors, avoiding the ice
Balanced, cozy high

Minnesota weed
How I love your THC
Pass the gummy, please!

Frozen Bde Mak
A Ska looks like frosting when
I eat local weed

U kno Baja Blast
Do u know Baja weed tho
It is even more yummy

I eat weed gummy
Send name to MNDoT contest
Win for snow plow, win for me

Amy Klobuchar
Threw a weed gummy at me
How ur hair fare in blizzard?

When doves live laugh love
When purple ain on parade
Still nothing compares 2 U

Icy streets still
Gummies bring calm
Call my Dayton's Bluff

Dropped an edible
Wish the planetarium
Still showed Laser Floyd.

WEED AND BASIL TREATS
BEST IF FROM OUR PALS BAJA
LOCAL WEED IS GREAT

High on five m-gs
Bike to Matt's Bar, so hungry
Gooey cheesy glee

Racket edibles
Minneapolis M N
Did I just win? No

Outside is too cold 
Go inside for a warm high
BAJA ONTARIO 

What could be better
Baja Ontario, yo
Tasty weed we need

Sleepy winter weed
What? A sweethearts Baja-Trois box!
Kingfield sweetheart smiles

Weed for my sweetums
Baja Ontario or
Popped beaner flavor

Whoa, I’m feeling it
Let’s hit up Chimborazo
Bummer, they are closed

[Voice of MN GOP congressperson]

Drugs can ruin lives
Destroy families, and OOPS
I legalized weed

“The gas station pot”
Was my intro to Baja
We love local weed

A green spring ahead
Barren winter behind us
Dude, where's our pizza?

[2.5 mg]

The kids sleep and dream
Late winter ice dams cower
I melt into bed

[5 mg]

Love home, kids asleep
Double dose, flickering fire 
Not mad dear, so high 

I heard somewhere that 
Taco Bell is for lovers 
And better with weed

My lover is green
They calm my mind and spirit
And give me giggles

Laugh until you pee
Erase the body and mind
Pain of the winter

They didn’t read the bill
Luckily it’s a gummy 
Not a bitter pill

False spring came early
Heart melts for a Baja treat
Green Valentines Day

Five o'clock shut-down
Pivot to low-hanging fruit
Flavored gummy time

Come get high with me
Let's fly by the cherry spoon
Too icy to walk

Weekend is here now
Early Valentines Day yay
Lets get high, bay-bee

I live in St. Paul
That should be enough reason 
To send me reefer

Cold depths of winter 
Minnesota nice never was
Create warmth yourself

The great North is great
If you were born here and white
Blacks serve time for oot

Stressed out in this time?
Need not worry, Valentine.
Weed's boxed. Skip the wine.

Weed weed weed weed weed
Weed weed weed weed weed weed weed
Help me it's winter

The new strain blossoms
In your lungs, seeps from your mouth
To my yearning heart

No more will I burn
These harbor sweet laughs and dreams
The best things are free

Sloshing and slipping
Through salt and slush, our nightly
Stoned wintry amble

The Macalester
Median, keeper of the
Flame, now and always

Twin Cities skyline
Green buds bursting with delight
A chance to unwind

It's five, seven, five
The Racket mandate for weed
So give to me, please

Blaisdell winter traffic jam
Bike lanes are empty
I really need a buzz, man

What to do for love?
Valentine’s weed would be fresh…
Minnesota niiiiiiice! 

My sweetheart and I 
Take turns; one s’mores, one cherry
Bitchin Baja bliss 

Maybe I am high
But all the homies know how
Free school lunches now!

Common Roots Café
Closes, now THC spot
Who could’ve guessed that

Used to have to go
All the way to Chicago
Now I get it here

Gummies or seltzer'd
Chocolatey, fruity, or dank
Gimme that weed, please

Minnesota weed
We’ve been waiting a long time
To smoke you freely

Minnesota weed
Your delicious aroma
Intoxicates me

Minnesota weed
How much I’d love to grow thee
And tend to your buds

Minnesota weed
I love your ingestibles
So delectable

Minnesota weed
It’s time to end the stigma
Cannabis for all!

Zen is not for those
Turning left into the Wedge
The even side is

Legality flux
Minnesota gets it soon
Sixty-nine bucks?! Nice.

Weeping and moaning
And begging the local news
Please help me get high!

Hotboxing in the car
In the dusty State Fair parking lot
Another bucket of cookies, please

M.P.L.S. love
Got me high like the Foshay
Never coming down 

Accidental weed
House and Senate may agree
Hope for legal kush

In my youth there were 
Seeds. Love this lazy future
Of tres bougie weed.

The loon sings its song
Marshmallows roast much too fast
Northern highs are bliss

Will Minnesota
Legalize recreation
Before Dakotas?

The Baja candies
Preserve the sweet smell of birch
My s'mores burn again

As fake spring arrives
Melt into THC high
I sigh with relief

I need to smoke it
Ope, I mean eat it ya know
Devils lettuce now

A CM comes home
The rolling tray beckoning
Lisa pearls the blunt

I love edibles
From Simply Crafted, mostly
But I'll try 'em all

Delicate gummies
With flavor and peace combined
Relaxed at last, sigh

City choked by greed 
Relaxation in the need
Racket: Give me weed

Smoke clouds rising high
Minneapolis inhales
Weed's sweet aroma

Baja-trois pour moi
Minneapolitans and
Saint Paulites agree

Three-two beer for shame
Buy local, Minneapolis
Stoned Arch Bridge for days

Republicans pass
Unintentional bill love
We reap the rewards

Kissing my boo doinked
Kiss in Lake Chipotle doinked
Doink me up Racket 

Ganja my sweetie
Such a delicious treatie
Helps me foster Love

Sweethearts Baja trois
You know the way to my heart
Gimme that weed (please)

Edible in tow,
Day spent at Lake Chipotle
Best swim of my life

10 p.m. St. Paul 
In da beds, out west Minne’s
Satin skies light up

Just want your extra
Weed and your 👄👄👄👄
Local news stories

In the winter thaw
We eat our candies outside
And become sunshine

Beside the Spoonbridge
Watch a chocolate cherry moon
Rising. I'm so high

Sixty dollars gone
The Colonel's staring at me
Get in my belly!

Cedar Lake kayak
Trip, diaper'd Gen Z dope boy
Choofs low-grade bong-load

The Mississippi
Flows, like the blood to my heart
Gimme that free weed! 

Pupils dilated
From Baja Ontario
Or my love's presence? 

Valentine's Day is
For suckers and saps, but I 
Still love Sweet Beef. Gross. 

Stoned at Hidden Beach
Missing the nudes and the freaks
Maybe you are too?

Bored and unemployed
Burn cruise thru Theo Wirth Park
Beautiful spring day

Kayak on the lake
Sparking up, cruising boat wakes
Stoned, sunburned again

Weed? Just not for me
Gift for my sweetheart, they'd be
I'm square, but not she

I'm not one to judge
If she likes THC fudge
Try? I'll need a nudge

For Valentine’s Day
Fresh experience, she'll say
Well, I guess Okay

My love rolled me a
Little doobage for later
Ope, my love so sweet

A date with you, love
Simple giggles on the couch
T-H-cya there

Sour Watermelon Basil
Pretty please gimme gummies
Poet I am not

You think you’re special 
Milk chocolate covered cherry
That’s Interesting

Parks rivers and lakes
Are delightful you betcha
Smores chocolate bar

Hello Racket team
This shy Midwestern newbie
Appreciates this

Weed is good yes yes
I am very hungry now
Pass me more weed now

Spoonbridge and Cherry
Really thought I could eat it
Gross misdemeanor

Relaxing beside 
The shores of Lake Chipotle
It's trite but I'm high

Stoner Arch Bridge shadow 
Decadent, dank scents drift on 
Love's whispers carry

Hangover free fun
Optimized sexy times
What is not to love?

I want to smoke it
Gazelka has no power
Green MN 2023

Snows melt and refreeze
St. Paul seeks comfort and bliss
Trichomes shall provide 

Our mediocre
State gives us weed gummies
Consolation prize. 

Tatortot potdish 
Minnesota goodbye, bitch
Potholes strike again

We’re too fucking old
For choklit syrup in bed
That shit makes a mess

Edges slowly sanded
Fog rolls in, pleasantly
Where are the Doritos 

A dose of perfection
Hazy day, Hidden Beach
And I don’t mean the weather 

Solution to world hunger:
“Xerox donuts,” he wrote
Pure baked brilliance

My ex yearned for college
Wake and bake, Saturday cartoons
They called it Bugs and Drugs

When it hits, we’ll eat 
Afro Deli sambusas
Tonight, we party.

Poppin’ a gummy
Accidentally legal
Thanks, Republicans

"Je suis High!" he yelped
Taking one sip of Chill State
Our sodden French Frey

Gimme that weed weed
Gimme that weed weed weed dog
Minneapolis 

Grimace with four eyes
Mary Jane comes to visit
A party for me

Hope springs eternal
Dankest flower soon to be
Twin Cities legal

Edible leaves of grass
Best at Bde Maka Ska
Smile at the dogs

Minnesotan weed
It's legal if edible
Gimme that weed please

Slipped on ice too much
Hard to be sexy when sore
Weed will set me free

Living life is hard
Minnesota DFL
Bring on the weed, please

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