Typically, when our friends at Baja Ontario let us do giveaways of their wonderful THC edibles, we simply ask Racket subscribers via email to shout “GIMME THAT WEED,” resulting in hilariously bloated inboxes.
Las Friday, as we prepared to give away five of Baja’s new and romantic Sweethearts Baja-trois Box (a very intentional $69 value each) ahead of Valentine's Day, we decided to try something different. We wanted to make readers work for the prizes, and hopefully have a little fun in the process. So we challenged 'em to email us with an original weed-themed haiku—bonus points for a local tie-in. The right to publish submissions? We reserved it, though we promised to keep everything anonymous; nobody's employer needs to know they're writing THC poetry to local news/arts/culture websites.
Without further ado, here are the five winning haikus:
Jesse Ventura
Said "Legalize cannabis"
I agree with him
Are you telling me
That this whole arch bridge is stoned?
That’s fucking wild, man
Legislative ope
Means now I can eat some dope
Not too bad, ya know?
Warm air on my face
Kris Lindahl spreads his arms wide
I'm high on Lyndale
Land of 3.2 Beer
Now sells weed in grocery stores
What the fuck is that
And here are the rest! Some are great, some are fine, and some aren't technically haikus. But, crucially, they're all free content for our website. We were blown away by the volume of the responses, another routine reminder that we've got the best, most weed-motivated readers in the biz. Enjoy!
The more weed we have
The better we all feel here
Makes snow mounds feel warm
Give this to my ex
So we hook up in my car
Behind chipotle
Why am I so good
At this pinball game right now
It's the edible
Minnesota should
Stop being such a lightweight
Just legalize it!
Lake ice crackles loud,
Weed smoke rises like a mist
Winter's chill now melts
Please pass me the green
Need some weed with Hennessy
Minneapolis
Give me that dank weed
Minneapolis
Has a large red spoon
Walz says that he will
Work towards legalization
But until then...please?
Giveaways are fun
Not sure I've ever won one
Gimme that weed please
Edibles are good
Milk chocolate cherry spoon?
Sculpture garden highs
Clueless right praise thee
Legalized for you and me
High as I can be
Minnesota weed
Twas divine intervention
We can now imbibe
Alcohol? No thanks.
I'm Minnesota sober
Please sir, weed only
That sticky icky
Turning me to purple rain
Legalize it, Walz
Seeking a calm mind
Edibles on the river
Stillwater beckons
Norton had a frunk
Then he had a weed shop
All under 40
Breweries pivot fast!
THC is edible
Drinkable at last
Not from Edina
But when the munchies kick in
I WILL eat the cake
Low-dose edibles
Will you be my valentine?
Ope! Sweet cannabis.
I do like weed but
Lisa Goodman, I am not
Smoke one for Ward 7
Fell asleep in jeans
All cars behind me are cops
Dry red itchy eyes
Gimme that weed please
Please gimme that gummy box
Weed weed gimme kush
I like weed a lot
My mom says it’s bad for you
I like weed a lot
Good girl, A student
Never tried, 'til legal made
Now mellow all day
Writing a weed poem
Since THC is legal
Sort of, anyway
When I close my eyes
I see bright music inside
Each note, a color.
From slick 7th West
Sweet clouds carry to Baja
Warmer winds await
As a Racket Fan
I am delighted to send
This email for weed
Gentle waves of bliss
Caress like a lover’s kiss
When this edi hits
Can't afford a trip
Where it's warm, but I can let
My mind go with weed
I like when weed is
Given to me free of cost
I live in St. Paul
Valentine's-themed weed?
I'll get high and take myself
To the MOA
You are way too high
This is the rest of your life
Your mom knows as well…
Silos long empty
The smell of the grain mill gone
Replaced by dank smoke
Golden-green quietude
As leaves in autumn floating
'Round Phalen at dusk
For my local weed
Nothing but Hemp is my spot
Free weed is better
I long for the day
To be at the Triple Rock
Stoned out my mind
A bag tears open
Scents overwhelm your senses
A moment, then bliss
Stoned in line again
Unexpected item in
Bagging area
In Minneapolis' air
Herbal smoke rises high and slow
Peaceful mind unwinds.
Chewing THC
Indoors, avoiding the ice
Balanced, cozy high
Minnesota weed
How I love your THC
Pass the gummy, please!
Frozen Bde Mak
A Ska looks like frosting when
I eat local weed
U kno Baja Blast
Do u know Baja weed tho
It is even more yummy
I eat weed gummy
Send name to MNDoT contest
Win for snow plow, win for me
Amy Klobuchar
Threw a weed gummy at me
How ur hair fare in blizzard?
When doves live laugh love
When purple ain on parade
Still nothing compares 2 U
Icy streets still
Gummies bring calm
Call my Dayton's Bluff
Dropped an edible
Wish the planetarium
Still showed Laser Floyd.
WEED AND BASIL TREATS
BEST IF FROM OUR PALS BAJA
LOCAL WEED IS GREAT
High on five m-gs
Bike to Matt's Bar, so hungry
Gooey cheesy glee
Racket edibles
Minneapolis M N
Did I just win? No
Outside is too cold
Go inside for a warm high
BAJA ONTARIO
What could be better
Baja Ontario, yo
Tasty weed we need
Sleepy winter weed
What? A sweethearts Baja-Trois box!
Kingfield sweetheart smiles
Weed for my sweetums
Baja Ontario or
Popped beaner flavor
Whoa, I’m feeling it
Let’s hit up Chimborazo
Bummer, they are closed
[Voice of MN GOP congressperson]
Drugs can ruin lives
Destroy families, and OOPS
I legalized weed
“The gas station pot”
Was my intro to Baja
We love local weed
A green spring ahead
Barren winter behind us
Dude, where's our pizza?
[2.5 mg]
The kids sleep and dream
Late winter ice dams cower
I melt into bed
[5 mg]
Love home, kids asleep
Double dose, flickering fire
Not mad dear, so high
I heard somewhere that
Taco Bell is for lovers
And better with weed
My lover is green
They calm my mind and spirit
And give me giggles
Laugh until you pee
Erase the body and mind
Pain of the winter
They didn’t read the bill
Luckily it’s a gummy
Not a bitter pill
False spring came early
Heart melts for a Baja treat
Green Valentines Day
Five o'clock shut-down
Pivot to low-hanging fruit
Flavored gummy time
Come get high with me
Let's fly by the cherry spoon
Too icy to walk
Weekend is here now
Early Valentines Day yay
Lets get high, bay-bee
I live in St. Paul
That should be enough reason
To send me reefer
Cold depths of winter
Minnesota nice never was
Create warmth yourself
The great North is great
If you were born here and white
Blacks serve time for oot
Stressed out in this time?
Need not worry, Valentine.
Weed's boxed. Skip the wine.
Weed weed weed weed weed
Weed weed weed weed weed weed weed
Help me it's winter
The new strain blossoms
In your lungs, seeps from your mouth
To my yearning heart
No more will I burn
These harbor sweet laughs and dreams
The best things are free
Sloshing and slipping
Through salt and slush, our nightly
Stoned wintry amble
The Macalester
Median, keeper of the
Flame, now and always
Twin Cities skyline
Green buds bursting with delight
A chance to unwind
It's five, seven, five
The Racket mandate for weed
So give to me, please
Blaisdell winter traffic jam
Bike lanes are empty
I really need a buzz, man
What to do for love?
Valentine’s weed would be fresh…
Minnesota niiiiiiice!
My sweetheart and I
Take turns; one s’mores, one cherry
Bitchin Baja bliss
Maybe I am high
But all the homies know how
Free school lunches now!
Common Roots Café
Closes, now THC spot
Who could’ve guessed that
Used to have to go
All the way to Chicago
Now I get it here
Gummies or seltzer'd
Chocolatey, fruity, or dank
Gimme that weed, please
Minnesota weed
We’ve been waiting a long time
To smoke you freely
Minnesota weed
Your delicious aroma
Intoxicates me
Minnesota weed
How much I’d love to grow thee
And tend to your buds
Minnesota weed
I love your ingestibles
So delectable
Minnesota weed
It’s time to end the stigma
Cannabis for all!
Zen is not for those
Turning left into the Wedge
The even side is
Legality flux
Minnesota gets it soon
Sixty-nine bucks?! Nice.
Weeping and moaning
And begging the local news
Please help me get high!
Hotboxing in the car
In the dusty State Fair parking lot
Another bucket of cookies, please
M.P.L.S. love
Got me high like the Foshay
Never coming down
Accidental weed
House and Senate may agree
Hope for legal kush
In my youth there were
Seeds. Love this lazy future
Of tres bougie weed.
The loon sings its song
Marshmallows roast much too fast
Northern highs are bliss
Will Minnesota
Legalize recreation
Before Dakotas?
The Baja candies
Preserve the sweet smell of birch
My s'mores burn again
As fake spring arrives
Melt into THC high
I sigh with relief
I need to smoke it
Ope, I mean eat it ya know
Devils lettuce now
A CM comes home
The rolling tray beckoning
Lisa pearls the blunt
I love edibles
From Simply Crafted, mostly
But I'll try 'em all
Delicate gummies
With flavor and peace combined
Relaxed at last, sigh
City choked by greed
Relaxation in the need
Racket: Give me weed
Smoke clouds rising high
Minneapolis inhales
Weed's sweet aroma
Baja-trois pour moi
Minneapolitans and
Saint Paulites agree
Three-two beer for shame
Buy local, Minneapolis
Stoned Arch Bridge for days
Republicans pass
Unintentional bill love
We reap the rewards
Kissing my boo doinked
Kiss in Lake Chipotle doinked
Doink me up Racket
Ganja my sweetie
Such a delicious treatie
Helps me foster Love
Sweethearts Baja trois
You know the way to my heart
Gimme that weed (please)
Edible in tow,
Day spent at Lake Chipotle
Best swim of my life
10 p.m. St. Paul
In da beds, out west Minne’s
Satin skies light up
Just want your extra
Weed and your 👄👄👄👄
Local news stories
In the winter thaw
We eat our candies outside
And become sunshine
Beside the Spoonbridge
Watch a chocolate cherry moon
Rising. I'm so high
Sixty dollars gone
The Colonel's staring at me
Get in my belly!
Cedar Lake kayak
Trip, diaper'd Gen Z dope boy
Choofs low-grade bong-load
The Mississippi
Flows, like the blood to my heart
Gimme that free weed!
Pupils dilated
From Baja Ontario
Or my love's presence?
Valentine's Day is
For suckers and saps, but I
Still love Sweet Beef. Gross.
Stoned at Hidden Beach
Missing the nudes and the freaks
Maybe you are too?
Bored and unemployed
Burn cruise thru Theo Wirth Park
Beautiful spring day
Kayak on the lake
Sparking up, cruising boat wakes
Stoned, sunburned again
Weed? Just not for me
Gift for my sweetheart, they'd be
I'm square, but not she
I'm not one to judge
If she likes THC fudge
Try? I'll need a nudge
For Valentine’s Day
Fresh experience, she'll say
Well, I guess Okay
My love rolled me a
Little doobage for later
Ope, my love so sweet
A date with you, love
Simple giggles on the couch
T-H-cya there
Sour Watermelon Basil
Pretty please gimme gummies
Poet I am not
You think you’re special
Milk chocolate covered cherry
That’s Interesting
Parks rivers and lakes
Are delightful you betcha
Smores chocolate bar
Hello Racket team
This shy Midwestern newbie
Appreciates this
Weed is good yes yes
I am very hungry now
Pass me more weed now
Spoonbridge and Cherry
Really thought I could eat it
Gross misdemeanor
Relaxing beside
The shores of Lake Chipotle
It's trite but I'm high
Stoner Arch Bridge shadow
Decadent, dank scents drift on
Love's whispers carry
Hangover free fun
Optimized sexy times
What is not to love?
I want to smoke it
Gazelka has no power
Green MN 2023
Snows melt and refreeze
St. Paul seeks comfort and bliss
Trichomes shall provide
Our mediocre
State gives us weed gummies
Consolation prize.
Tatortot potdish
Minnesota goodbye, bitch
Potholes strike again
We’re too fucking old
For choklit syrup in bed
That shit makes a mess
Edges slowly sanded
Fog rolls in, pleasantly
Where are the Doritos
A dose of perfection
Hazy day, Hidden Beach
And I don’t mean the weather
Solution to world hunger:
“Xerox donuts,” he wrote
Pure baked brilliance
My ex yearned for college
Wake and bake, Saturday cartoons
They called it Bugs and Drugs
When it hits, we’ll eat
Afro Deli sambusas
Tonight, we party.
Poppin’ a gummy
Accidentally legal
Thanks, Republicans
"Je suis High!" he yelped
Taking one sip of Chill State
Our sodden French Frey
Gimme that weed weed
Gimme that weed weed weed dog
Minneapolis
Grimace with four eyes
Mary Jane comes to visit
A party for me
Hope springs eternal
Dankest flower soon to be
Twin Cities legal
Edible leaves of grass
Best at Bde Maka Ska
Smile at the dogs
Minnesotan weed
It's legal if edible
Gimme that weed please
Slipped on ice too much
Hard to be sexy when sore
Weed will set me free
Living life is hard
Minnesota DFL
Bring on the weed, please
