I just powered through three more episodes of Love Is Blind and I gotta say, the show has too much “pod.” Two people sitting in a room together with a “modesty wall” between them just does not make for compelling television, because it limits reactions and things can go unchecked. Also, there are no wacky situations when you’re stuck in a room. I feel like I got a second cat and I want them to start snuggling and playing with each other but I’m stuck in the “smelling each other through a closed door” phase.
The conversations they are having in these pods may be great… for them. You need to discuss things like where you want to live, how many kids you want, what your day-to-day life already looks like, how that person would or wouldn’t fit in—the lack of those types of conversations seem to be why (well, among many, many other reasons) the couples on The Bachelorette/Bachelor don’t work out.
But that doesn’t mean I want to watch those conversations. Especially when they’re between stoic Minnesotans.
The average pod conversation:
Person 1: “I think you are a beautiful person and I want to acknowledge that I think you are someone I am connecting with.”
Person 2: “I want to acknowledge that I appreciate that.”
Person 1: “I appreciate you appreciating that.”
So rather than a super straightforward recap, I’m going to breeze through three episodes worth of couples and grade them on the potential chaos they could cause once they get out of their damn “new cat” rooms of modesty. But first...
Some Fun Observations and Quotes I have Gleaned so Far
Taylor has one tattoo, “Taco Bell” on her inner lip, which has now faded to “Taco B.”
When sex playlists come up in a convo between Dave and Lauren, Lauren says she would want Cats Stevens on it. Since when is Cat Stevens fucking music?!
“When I get nervous or broken up with my butt tingles”—Meg.
Molly is always two-fisting drinks on her dates. Right on, lady.
Brittany on why she hasn’t told her dad she’s on the show: “He talks so much the whole Eastern Seaboard is gonna be aware. I was like, Willie, I’ll tell you after the fact.”
Meg’s favorite term of endearment is “baby girl.” Hm, is she a fan of the hit Netflix series 365 Days?
“I don’t know if they know that I know”—Sara talking to the women about her love triangle.
I also love that we’ve gone from the first day of suit jackets and pretty little dresses to wrinkly T-shirts and sweatpants. I assume that’s partly because folks are hungover (it’s always hilarious to see a shot with gold chalices covering every square inch of space like red Solo cups after a frat party) or that warehouse they’re shooting in is freezing and Minnesotans don’t choose comfort over cuteness any day.
Now, on to the couples!
Taylor and Daniel
These people are so boring and supportive of each other. I love that for them but I hate that for me. 0/10
Sara and Ben
Now here we have some potential! Sara's sister is her BFF ride-or-die and she's gay. So she’s not super down with Catholic pedo priests telling her that her sister is going to hell. Right on, Sara.
Ben, on the other hand, is clearly a freak for Jesus. (“I hate the word ‘religion,’” he tells her when church comes up. “I like using the word ‘faith.’” Whatever, semantics man.) When she brings up the importance of not dating a homophobe, Ben assures her that he has “no discomfort in that community at all. Some of my friends are that way.” Uh oh. “That way” is the “you people” of homophobia. Red flag on the field, Ben!
In a later episode, Sara decides she wants to talk politics. Ben says he “is kinda ignorant about that stuff” and didn’t vote. Sara is not into it. She asks him about BLM and he’s dodgy. She says she’s been political ever since 2020, after the murder of George Floyd by police and the riots that followed. Ben is cagey about responding in general. Man, if she gets with him this might be a case of performative allyship. But their convos feel more uncomfortable when I am looking for drama-licious. Still, there’s potential.
8/10
Dave and Lauren and Molly
Have you ever witnessed a work love triangle where you have to watch the trio overanalyze every boring little thing and yet still act professional because no one wants to lose their job? That’s the kind of vibe I get with these guys. It’s all side-eyes and quietly leaving the room to vent while the dude just needs to pick a side so everyone can move on. But then, Dave has admitted to being a cheater, and this kind of stringing along thing is cheating adjacent. Whenever he gets called out on shit he looks like he's going to barf.
5/10
Meg and Mason
Meg wants to be reincarnated as a butterfly or a mushroom. Mason wants to be a dolphin because “they are the OG good guys of the sea.” (No, they are not.) If these two get engaged I want their first dates to be history and science classes.
Meg says she appreciates that he’s into things that aren’t “in the mainstream,” like Moulin Rouge. Oh boy. They also both love Inception and HER. Deep cuts, man.
10/10. This lady is fun and I want her to keep talking.
Virginia and Devin and Brittany
Devin makes both women cry on their date with his tale of intense hip pain, ibuprofen addiction, and finding Jesus. While Virginia reacts with tears and apologies, Brittany uses his opening up as a chance for her to discuss her past relationships with women and what sounds like bisexuality. He uses this as an opportunity to come off as homophobic. Devin, I was rooting for you!
4/10. I’m team Virginia and team Brittany… and maybe team Brittany and Virginia? Make it happen, universe!
Monica and Joey
They got engaged and met in some sort of warehouse hotel lounge. I can’t tell if their energy is mania, dissociation, or playing along in a hostage situation. I think it’s landing somewhere between joy and a panic attack. She kept pinching his cheeks like a grandma. I noticed a red splotch on her shoulder where she must have nervously scratched herself. Girl, me too. I would be 90% hives.
This is either going to go well or explode during real dates. They kiss like that one overly aggressive aunt at family reunions.
3/10
Madison and Alex
They are so boring! I have an avoidant attachment style now, but only for them. I have a feeling that in the wild Madison can bring the drama, though. So I have a glimmer of hope.
1/10
Welp, that’s all for now, folks. We’ve got two more episodes to go before the next segment goes live this weekend.
