Thirty-plus official new Minnesota State Fair foods. Six Racket writers. Two maps. One downpour. Add it all up, and you get this: The definitive guide to the new menu items of the 2024 State Fair.
As always, we’ve evaluated the new fair foods according to our peerless, pitiless Scarf!, Shrug, Skip system. (Accept no substitutes.) How accurate were the predictions we made in July? There’s just one way to find out, and it’s reading every last one of the 5,000-ish words that follow.
All italicized menu descriptions courtesy of the fair’s PR team; all photos by us.
Grilled Purple Sticky Rice
Price: $10 at Union Hmong Kitchen
Purple sticky rice grilled over an open flame until crunchy, then topped with choice of shredded Hmong beef jerky or pickled mushrooms. Garnished with fresh herbs and finished with Union Hmong Kitchen's Krunchy Chili Aioli. (Gluten-free, vegetarian option)
“Union Hmong Kitchen never misses,” we agreed amongst ourselves as we waited in this line, seconds before biting into what can only be described as “a miss.” There’s no denying that this is a pretty platter, with delicate shredded Hmong beef jerky—think meat floss, if you’re familiar—and leafy herbs topping a striking purple brick of sticky rice. Unfortunately that’s not where the similarities to a brick end. This is a hard, dense block of grains, and the toppings aren’t plentiful enough to break that up. Points for the flavor and freshness of the beef and herbs, but this was just too much like teething a two-by-four.
Verdict: Shrug
Swedish 'Sota Sliders
Price: $10 at Hamline Church Dining Hall
Hamline Church Dining Hall's Cranberry-Wild Rice Meatball formed into patties, paired with dill Havarti cheese and a red relish of beets, red onions, red peppers, lingonberries, and cranberries, served on two brioche buns.
At two for 10 bucks, these sliders feel like a steal compared to the elevated price tag of a lot of the food at this year’s fair, and they’re a perfectly fine snack. The standout element—the pickled relish—delivers an interesting mix of sweet and briney, but the meatball itself feels so Scandinavian mild in flavor that it borders on lackluster. A pillowy dinner roll bun and dill Havarti add a little something extra, so the whole package together has a fun Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich feel. It’s a tasty enough snack, but maybe not one worth seeking out specifically.
Verdict: Shrug
Fried Bee-Nana Pie
Price: $6 (plus $2 to add ice cream) at Sabino's Pizza Pies
Handmade pie filled with Minnesota honey, fresh banana and Biscoff® cookie butter; battered and deep-fried. (Vegetarian)
“The lack of ice cream on the side could be a critical factor in whether this thing buzzes or bombs,” we wrote in our predictions for this year’s new fair foods, and guess what? The good folks at Sabino’s Pizza Pies did end up giving you the option to add ice cream to this newbie. Racket’s influence? Everything else here, though—that’s all Sabino’s, and it’s all great, from the crispy, sugary, fried-bread shell to the molten, golden, honey core. You’ll absolutely want the ice cream, by the way. If we have any complaint, it’s that the bread-to-filling ratio is a little too far in favor of the former, and a scoop of cold vanilla is what sends this freshly fried little sugar pocket into “scarf!” territory.
Verdict: Scarf!
Blazing Greek Bites
Price: $8 at Dino's Gyros
Deep-fried bites made from a blend of chickpeas, tomato, roasted red pepper, scallions, and cayenne pepper. Served with a side of roasted red pepper hummus. (Gluten-free, vegan)
The people at Dino’s Gyros owe every Greek person on the planet an apology for this absolute abomination. Honestly, they should even apologize to all the uninhabited Greek islands. The Blazing Greek Bites can really only be described as… bullshit. Our entire review crew agreed that these were by far the worst food of the day. They had a fair amount of spice but not any of the good-tasting kind, and left a weirdly bitter aftertaste that not even a mouthful of delicious chile mango whip could cure. They’re also a full-on textural night terror that turns to pulp as soon as it hits your mouth, making chewing wholly unnecessary. If you hate using your teeth and love the inescapable bitter taste of burnt cayenne, knock yourself out. But if you respect yourself, your tastebuds, and the nation of Greece, then just walk on by Dino’s.
Verdict: Skip (with a middle finger)
Walking Shepherd's Pie
Price: $10 at O’Gara’s
Two handmade hot pastries filled with braised ground beef, mashed potatoes and a blend of onions, carrots and peas tossed in herb gravy.
God bless ‘em, these Irish bastards keep thinking up new things to do with potatoes at the fair. And credit where it’s due, this is a creative way to get folks to order a heap of mashed potatoes in potentially 90-degree temps. As for whether it works, well, the puff pastry casing is buttery and sturdy. The potatoes themselves are fine, though there’s an awful lot of them. Allegedly there’s meat in here, but it’s barely discernible—I mean, observe the photo above and see for yourself—and the veggies (also scarce) don’t do a lot to disrupt a fascinating lack of texture. “Mush” would be the word for this one. Even more so than “beige.”
Verdict: Shrug
Afro Poppers
Price: $6 at Afro Deli
Bite-size pastries infused with an African blend of spices—ground vanilla, cardamom, ginger, cloves and nutmeg—deep-fried and coated with choice of coconut flakes, sugar or served plain. Topped with choice of drizzle—mango chutney, caramel, or chocolate.
“What is there to say about this?” “Nothing.” Such went the defining staff snacking squad exchange inspired by these bland balls of dough. The spice blend here just isn’t very assertive (“What are these supposed to taste like?” was another question raised), and they’re too dry to salvage with a drizzle of sauce. Love the price point—for just six bucks, you could surely do a lot worse. But if the Afro Popper wants to play with the big boys (i.e. compete with the literal buckets of mini donuts folks are toting around)? You’ve gotta give us something more.
Verdict: Shrug
Marco's Garden
Price: $14 at Jammy Sammies by BRIM
Local rhubarb jam, thyme-marinated locally sourced tomatoes, farmer cheese, jalapeño and honey served with a side of grilled gluten-free flatbread. (Gluten-free, vegan option uses thyme tofu dip and maple syrup instead of cheese and honey.)
It’s such a relief to see a pile of fresh, colorful fruits and veggies emerging from a State Fair stand. And BRIM’s emphasis on local ingredients at this, a multi-week event that is, at its core, meant to celebrate our local farmers and food producers, is a wonderful thing. Throat-clearing out of the way… this is just fine! The marinated cherry tomatoes are pleasant; the farmer cheese is soft and rich; the gluten-free flatbread is gluten-free. It’s the “healthy” option if you’re hoping for something that hasn’t hit the fryer, but it’s not the kind of thing you’re going to effuse about to your coworkers. Also: $14? C’monnnn.
Verdict: Shrug
3 Piggy Pals On-A-Stick
Three smoked sausage slices wrapped in bacon, filled with a cream cheese mix, and drizzled with barbecue sauce. Topped with a jalapeño slice and served on-a-stick. (Gluten-friendly)
Price: $12 at Sausage Sister & Me, located in the Food Building, east wall
Sausage Sister & Me tout themselves as specialty sausages made by special women, and the quality of their meats doesn’t disappoint. Waiting in line, you get to watch the artisans behind the counter assembling each piggy pal with the precision of a seamstress. Sausage wrapped in bacon might feel like a hat on a hat, but this crunchy pork pairing is tasty albeit redundant. The heat from the pickled jalapeño and the sweet from the barbecue deepens the salty pork’s flavor. Mix in a bit of cream cheese to cool things down, and what’s not to like? The doubled up pork may feel a bit shruggish, but if it’s your jam, then these little piggy pals can go to the market. (Your mouth.)
Verdict: Enthusiastic Shrug
Buffalo Cheese Curd & Chicken Tacos
Price: $14 at Richie's Cheese Curd Tacos
Fried buffalo-flavored cheese curds and chicken topped with blue cheese slaw, drizzled with buffalo sauce, and served in a fried flour shell.
Richie’s Cheese Curd Tacos is going for a hat trick after the popularity of last year’s dill pickle variety, and this buffalo chicken follow-up doesn’t disappoint. The added protein makes the tacos fuller and more substantial, and you’re getting a good amount of chicken in the mix without sacrificing curd. The result turns this duo of tacos from snack into meal, and that helps us swallow the $14 price tag. The lettuce and slaw do a great job of adding texture and complexity to each taco so that the final outcome is greater than the sum of the parts. It’s all the best tasting notes of buffalo chicken dip but in a light, crispy fried shell. Bonus points for letting folks watch how they dip a cat of nine tails prong of five assembled tacos all into the deep fryer at once.
Verdict: Scarf!
Strawberries and Cream Waffle Stick
Price: $10 at Waffle Chix
Belgian waffle filled with strawberry shortcake cookie dough, topped with whipped cream and strawberry sauce, and served on-a-stick.
Waffle Chix seems like a fun outfit, but as much as we wanted to like this dish, it felt as if something was missing. The fact that the waffle normally wraps around chicken or some other core element on a stick akin to a corn dog might be the reason this particular waffle stick felt lacking. Without a center element, it’s hollow. We felt hollow. Like the Sartrian void, the hole at the center of this waffle stick is almost existential. And although the drizzle of strawberries and cream were tasty enough, when you bite into it there just isn’t much of anything there.
Verdict: Skip
Turkey Kristo
Price: $16 at Minnesota Farmers Union Coffee Shop
Minnesota-made Texas toast from Pan-O-Gold Bakery, sliced Ferndale Market turkey, CannonBelles white cheddar cheese, apple butter made from locally sourced Westcott Orchard apples, and house-made spicy brown mustard mayo, dusted with powdered sugar. (White Cheddar Kristo vegetarian option uses extra cheese instead of turkey.)
We had our reservations about this year's offering from The Farmers Union. For one thing, it’s hard to top their celebrated Pork Schnitzel sandwich, but to try and step into the turkey sandwich ring and make a Monte Cristo that can compete with Turkey To Go? Gutsy to say the least. The move paid off, because this Turkey Kristo is delicious! The butcher-shaved, thick-cut turkey and the rich cheddar all battered and fried together on airy Texas toast with a touch of sweet and sour from the apple butter and mustard? Chef’s kiss. We know $16 is tres cher, but it’s worth it. It’s posh. It’s elegant. You feel fancy eating it. We’re all The Count of Turkey Kristo now! Only we’re not imprisoned in Château d'If, we’re hanging loose in Château Delish!
Verdict: Scarf!
Ham and Pickle Roll Up on a Potato Skin
Price: $9 at Route 66 Roadhouse Chicken
Three fried potato skins filled with a blend of sour cream, cream cheese, chopped pickles and ham. Topped with potato chip crumbles. (Gluten-friendly).
These dinky little tater skins are made of pure spite. I hated them, and I’m certain they hate me back. The gas station-grade ham cubes stare up at you mockingly, simultaneously amazed and amused that you spent $9 on a dish that tastes like a cruel joke. The shards of potato chips and hunks of pickle are tossed on as afterthoughts. The small, flimsy potato halves—apparently a house specialty—serve as dry delivery rafts, sadly ferrying bottom-shelf ingredients into your maw. Look, families budget for the fair. Unlike our gluttonous review crew, they only get so many bites at the new-foods apple, to use a confusing metaphor. The thought of dropping any hard-earned money on something this half-baked and lifeless? It bums me out. I’m actually mad at these spuds! If we can’t have national healthcare or affordable housing, can we at least gobble junk foods with a shred of dignity?
Verdict: Skip
Ba'bacon Sour Cream + Onion
Price: $14 at Baba’s
Sour cream + onion hummus topped with beef bacon, sumac tater tots, caramelized onions, scallions, French onion creme fraiche, black cumin seeds and chive oil. Served with pita puffs dusted with sour cream + onion powder. (Gluten-free without pita puffs, vegetarian without bacon).
Sometimes it can feel like we’re too easy on restaurants we like year-round, ones that exist outside of the fair. And yes, we’re vocal fans of what Rana Kamal and Khalid Ansari are doing over at Baba’s. But! This year we endured State Fair duds from two other great Twin Cities spots—Union Hmong Kitchen, Afro Deli—thus proving our critical faculties remain true. Is this where I bludgeon Baba’s? It is not. It’s hard to overstate how fucking delicious this hummus bowl is. The pita puffs arrive pipin’ hot and skewered above a wonderland of flavors and textures: cool and creamy hummus and French onion creme fraiche, expertly caramelized onions, crunchy tots, a generous heap of beef bacon crumbles. Every pita shovelful is an adventure, and there’s more than enough for two to get filled up on this ride. Wait times were almost annoyingly long on Thursday afternoon. It’s well worth it.
Verdict: Scarf!
Wrangler Waffle Burger
Price: $12 at Nordic Waffles
Fresh all-beef patty and signature Whataburger® Patty Melt Sauce layered with American cheese and served in a caramelized onion-infused Nordic Waffle.
I don’t know, man. I know there are better burgers at the fair (check out the delightful Midway Men’s Club), and I’m guessing there are better waffles, provided you really need a fairground waffle. Thin and gray, the well-done patty is aggressively seasoned and crumbles with the authenticity of fresh, hand-pattied beef. As you can see above, the American cheese slice (the idealized cheeseburger cheese) is only half-melted. You’d like to think the waffle really delivers, considering we’re at a waffle shop. But no, it’s limp and slightly sweet, a downgrade substitute for a proper bun. The corporate #synergy of incorporating Whataburger sauce seems intriguing, especially since the beloved Texas burger joint doesn’t operate here, though our teensy squirt barely registered. Also: Why “Wrangler”? Ain’t no cowboy elements here, pardner. Nordic Waffles stormed onto the scene a few years back as a State Fair darling. After two consecutive ho-hum outings, they’ve got some soul-searching to do.
Verdict: Shrug
Deep-Fried Ranch Dressing
Price: $12 at LuLu's Public House
Ranch dressing filling made with ranch seasoning, buttermilk, and cream cheese in a panko shell, deep-fried and dusted with ranch powder. Served with a side of hot honey sauce crafted with Cry Baby Craig's hot sauce. (Vegetarian.)
Each fair there's an over-the-top gimmick food, the kinda thing that TV hosts get playfully incredulous about. It’s a good bit, and I’m glad our State Fair—the country’s best, just ask Sen. Klobuchar over and over again—gets silly with it, gastronomically speaking. Deep-Fried Ranch Dressing is such a dish, a madcap mainlining of fatty flyover indulgences. Could it also possibly be… good? LuLu’s is a consistent heavy hitter when it comes to new foods, so right away we were optimistic. When one member of our crew broke open a puff to reveal the creamy innards, a blast of ranch shot out—these badboys are exploding with Hidden Valley-brand dressing! Or dressing-like substance. The food scientists at LuLu’s developed a thick, creamy concoction that splits the difference between pure ranch and cream cheese puff filling. Housed inside nicely fried shells and dunked into locally sourced hot honey sauce? Whole lotta fun, and, yes, legitimately tasty. Get a trayful, share with your buddies, bask in the thrilling high of Midwestern excellence.
Verdict: Scarf!
Dill Pickle Tots
Price: $8/$12 (pictured)/$17 at Tot Boss
Fried tater tots tossed in dill seasoning with a hint of vinegar flavor–like a dill pickle potato chip. (Vegan.)
In 2022, Rick’s Pizza ushered in a Minnesota State Fair pickle craze that would crest the following year. It was pickle mania in ’23, and I don’t use that term lightly. So Tot Boss is trend chasing in this, the year of our deep-fried lord 2024. Credit to the dill flavor dusting, which hits with the same notes as a high-end pickle potato chip. The tots they coated? Absolutely fine. Totally “mid,” to bust out a descriptor I’m told is popular among the youths. Crunchy and poppable, these tater tots are no better than ones that come out of your air fryer. Maybe the speciality sauces (50 cents each) elevate the experience to dizzying highs. We wouldn’t know; we stuck to free ketchup. The true pickle freaks and completists might want to stop here for a snack. But the dill ship has sailed, and Tot Boss is just kinda sloshing around in its wake.
Verdict: Skip
Cotton Candy Iced Tea
Price: $7 at Loon Lake Iced Tea
Brewed butterfly pea flower tea sweetened with natural flavor and cane sugar. Garnished with a swirl of edible glitter and a rock candy swizzle stick to stir for a color-changing effect. (Gluten-free, caffeine-free, vegan)
There’s always gotta be a new whimsical unicorn sparkle thing at the fair. We don’t make the rules; it’s just the law in this modern era. This year, it’s a cotton candy-flavored iced tea. Some will buy it for the ‘gram, others will get it for their iridescent tutu glitter child. Normies will cringe at the flavor, which is all cotton candy with not even the slightest hint of tea. But parents will appreciate that this isn’t a sticky, messy drink (we’re talking ‘bout you, Cloud Cooler). And if you don’t feel at least a tinge of childlike joy as you swirl the rock candy stick, making the drink change from blue to purple, then you might just be dead inside.
Verdict: Shrug, but a definite Scarf! if you’re six and in your pastels and ponies phase
Deep-Fried Halloumi Cheese
Price: $10 from Holy Land Deli
Halloumi cheese, crafted from a blend of sheep and goat milk, wrapped in pastry dough, and deep-fried. Served with a side of sweet chili sauce. (Vegetarian)
Holy Land rarely misses at the fair, so we had high hopes when we heard that they would be adding a fried cheese to their menu this year. And these gold triangles of halloumi are so dang good. The outer shell is filo dough: flaky, crispy whispers that melt in your mouth. Then comes the chew of the cheese, which is rich with a pleasantly creamy aftertaste. The chili sauce pairs well, matching the mild sweetness and meeting it with a bit of complimentary sourness.
Verdict: Scarf!
Lady's Slipper Marble Sundae
Price: $10.50 at Bridgeman's Ice Cream
Bridgeman's strawberry ice cream, lemon marshmallow cream and ladyfinger cookies layered in a cup and topped with whipped cream and a cherry.
My my, this lady is pretty! But she’s also complex. There’s some good stuff here, like the strawberry ice cream and the generous spray of whipped cream. But there’s also some stuff that doesn’t quite work. The “fingers” are less cake-y and more like croutons or day-old toasty bread. But it’s the lemon marshmallow cream that really throws this lady off balance. It’s got an artificial tang to it that overpowers things and makes it hard to enjoy the good stuff.
Verdict: Skip
Raging Ball
Price: $14 at Herbivorous Butcher
Deep-fried sesame mochi dough ball with vegan cheeseburger filling. Made with house-made vegan burger mix, vegan cheddar cheese, grilled onions, and pickles. Topped with bacon-flavored powdered sugar. (Gluten-friendly, vegan)
The name sounds almost dangerous. The outer appearance, mysterious. But ultimately this Raging Ball brings confusion. “Am I eating this thing correctly?” you may ask yourself as you use the wooden toothpick it comes with to stab it open. (There is no wrong answer, but there isn’t a right one either.) The textures and flavors are confusing, too. The mochi shell is sweet and chewy, and there’s way too much of it. The guts are unsettlingly pickle-forward. The vegan meat has a chew like seitan but doesn’t taste like much; the cheese is visually there but undetectable on the tongue. “I hate that thing,” one member of our group angrily proclaimed. I guess that’s why it’s “raging.” Jake LaMotta weeps.
Verdict: Skip
Savory Éclairs in Two Varieties
Price: $15 or $25 for both at Scenic 61 by New Scenic Café
Choux pastry éclair shell with choice of filling: Bánh Mì or Lobster.
We’re not opposed to swapping out the bread bases on either of these two iconic sandwiches, but if you’re going to do it then you better get it right. The choux pastry isn’t working at all. The flavor is stale and the texture is airy to the point of non-existence. The lobster mix was good, but there wasn’t much to it—or much of it, either. The bánh mì however, was pure salt. Pairing it with water is recommended. New Scenic Café, perhaps northern Minnesota’s finest restaurant, can and must do better.
Verdict: Skip
Shroomy "Calamari"
Price: $14 at French Meadow Bakery & Cafe
Oyster mushrooms hand-breaded and deep-fried. Served with a side of chipotle sauce.(Gluten-free, vegan)
Oyster mushrooms are way too delicate for these kinds of shenanigans. The flavor gets lost, they don’t really have much chew, and they’re hard to find in the hunks of breading. That said, the fry is nice, with a smidgen of heat and a good crunch. It’s not bad, but not worth braving the French Meadow line for when there’s better deep-fried stuff out there. Needless to say, there’s nothing about this item that remotely resembles calamari.
Verdict: Shrug
Chile Mango Whip
Price: $12 at Tasti Whip
Mango Dole Soft Serve in a cup rimmed and topped with chamoy and Tajín. Garnished with a tamarind candy straw. Alternate flavors of Dole Soft Serve include pineapple, strawberry, and lemon. (Gluten-free, vegan)
At this point, Dole Whips are as much a staple fair food as the Pronto Pup, cheese curd, or everyone’s favorite overrated chocolate chip cookies. But this new take on the whip whips so much ass that it’s not even on the same level as the original. The addition of chamoy and Tajin brings an extra dose of tang and spice to the party and plays perfectly with the mango. This thing features all the elements of a mangonada and comes with a festive little drink umbrella, so you can imagine you’re enjoying it on a beach somewhere instead of in a sea of sweaty strangers from outer-ring suburbs.
Verdict: Scarf! (But scarf quickly or prepare to get sticky.)
Sweet Corn Cola Float
Price: $11 at Blue Moon Dine-In Theater
Minnesota-made sweet corn cola and sweet corn ice cream in a cup, finished with whipped cream, popping candy and house-made frozen caramel.
We had high hopes for this one, but it didn’t quite deliver a scarfable experience. The sweet corn ice cream is fantastic. The Pop Rocks are a fun addition if you’re into candy that hurts. The frozen caramel added just the right amount of sweetness without overpowering things. But the sweet corn cola? It was extremely OK. While Blue Moon certainly gets points for innovation for this one, the result fell just a little short.
Verdict: Enthusiastic shrug
Sweet Heat Bacon Crunch
Price: $13 at RC's BBQ
Double-smoked slab bacon tossed in RC's red barbecue sauce and topped with hot honey & chili crunch, served over a bed of white rice, and garnished with green onions.
You’d think that double-smoked slab bacon slathered in BBQ sauce, hot honey, and chili crunch would be a slam dunk, but in this case, it’s more of an airball. There was some sweet heat from hot honey, though it could’ve used way more. There was definitely bacon. But the crunch was nowhere to be found. And while the bacon had decent flavor, it was more unrendered fat than meat so it was a bit on the chewy side. The white rice was mushy and overcooked, almost to the point of porridge, and didn’t seem necessary.
Verdict: Shrug
Cookie Butter Crunch Mini Donuts
Price: $12 at Mini Donuts & Cheese Curds
Vanilla-flavored mini donuts coated with vanilla sugar, topped with Biscoff® cookie butter drizzle and cookie crumbles, and served in a bucket rimmed with cookie butter and cookie crumbles.
As we insisted (maybe even too vehemently) in our preview of the new fair foods, the fair does not need new mini donuts—the fair has Tom Thumb. But if you’re seeking an alternative for variety’s sake, the lil guys will not severely disappoint you. Style points for coating the rim of the bucket with sweetening, margarita style, and you do get a heaping serving. (Say what you will about this country, 12 bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mini donuts.) But for all the talk of “cookie butter drizzle and cookie crumbles” and “vanilla sugar,” the sweetened toppings are pretty generic. Not in a bad way—good mini donuts should be kind of generic, after all. But do you need these in your life? You donut.
Verdict: Shrug
Mocha Madness Shave Ice
Price: $10 at Minnesnowii Shave Ice
Fluffy shave ice with caffeine-free coffee flavoring and an overflowing caramel macchiato cold foam center. Drizzled with chocolate syrup and garnished with dark chocolate espresso beans. (Gluten-free)
Full disclosure: Our typically unanimous crew was split on this one, with several of us refreshed, and a few unimpressed. But the individual blurbing this item was firmly in the former camp, so suck it, haters. This is more shaved ice than one person is likely to want to shovel down, so split it with the whole family—the (uncaffeinated) coffee syrup is sweet enough that it won’t scare off your kids, especially when paired with the caramel macchiato. Just don’t let your little ones chomp down on the chocolate-covered espresso beans. Mom and dad need their stimulants.
Verdict: Scarf!
Patata Frita Focacciawich
Price: $12 at West End Creamery
"Patata Frita" kettle chip-flavored ice cream created by Minnesota Dairy Lab, sandwiched between focaccia bread from Wrecktangle Pizza. Topped with a blend of honey butter, kettle chips, and herbs.
Is there really any need to improve upon the humble, delicious ice cream sandwich? If so, this ain’t how to go about it. Wrecktangle’s focaccia has been put to much better dessert-y uses; here the bread is both tough and soggy, and unless you try to pick this sucker up (not recommended!) you’ll have to tear through it with a plastic spoon. The seasoned chips atop add a confusion of flavors, and while a good savory ice cream can be a real treat, this kettle chip ice cream is itself aggressively neutral. Next time just use a really tasty cookie.
Verdict: Skip
PB Bacon Cakes
Price: $12 at Blue Barn
Thick-cut bacon dipped in pancake batter, griddled and topped with peanut butter whipped cream, grape jelly, and banana chips.
In this unstable, ever-changing world, there are few firm, reliable constants in which you can ground your experience. But you can always count on Blue Barn… to put a lot of effort into an absolutely unappealing new fair food. Every part of this breakfast mess makes you ask why. Why enclose the bacon inside a mediocre pancake? Why slop grape jelly on top of peanut butter cream? Why does this all taste somehow… ashy? The voices of thy people cry out unto you, why, Lord, why?
Verdict: Skip
Crab Boil Wings
Price: $20 at Soul Bowl
Chicken wings marinated in hot sauce, grilled and then fried with corn, chicken apple sausage, and potatoes. Tossed in a "crab boil" butter and finished with a lemon wedge and parsley. (Gluten-free)
The folks at Soul Bowl know how to make a damn fine chicken wing. The hot sauce marinade was excellent. The wings tasted great and were cooked perfectly. Pair them with some slightly sweet chicken apple sausage? You’ve got a highly-scarfable combo. But add in a couple of shriveled cobs of overcooked corn and a pile of soggy potato wedges, and you’re in Shrug City, which is a spendy place to be in this case. Even with inflated fair pricing, $20 is pretty steep. Sure, you get a lot of food, but only half of it’s good. Oh, and that crab boil butter, as predicted, adds nothing but extra grease on your fingers.
Verdict: Shrug (at a skippable price point)
Strawberry Lemonade Donut
Price: $10 at Fluffy's Hand Cut Donuts
Hand-cut yeast-raised donut frosted with lemon buttercream, rolled in strawberry lemonade crunch, and garnished with lemon gummy candy and freeze-dried strawberry slice. Served with a strawberry lemonade-filled pipette to squeeze in more flavor. (Vegetarian)
The era of the fancy, pricey donut is in our cultural rearview mirror, and not a moment too soon, some would say. Whatever your opinion of that trend, this donut will not make you nostalgic for that age. The frosting is too sweet, kind of chalky, and certainly lacks the promised crunch, while the donut itself was moist in a bad way. And the strawberry lemonade that we squeezed from our pipette just kind of made a mess. (Also Google “microplastics” and prepare to be horrified.) Gas stations across this great land of ours offer better, cheaper options, and mini donuts are a fair staple for a reason.
Verdict: Skip
Swedish Ice Cream Sundae
Price: $8 at Lutheran Church Dining Hall
Vanilla ice cream covered in lingonberry jam, sprinkled with Swedish ginger cookie crumble, and garnished with a ginger cookie heart. (Vegetarian)
The Salem Lutheran Church Dining Hall is a gem of the fair, and their egg coffee is a genuine cultural contribution to the annual proceedings. But while there’s nothing wrong with this sundae, and the little heart-shaped cookie on top is adorable, we can’t in good conscience tell you it’s worth going out of your way for. This ginger cookie crumble, lingonberry, and vanilla ice cream concoction won’t disappoint you, but only because that description really couldn’t have gotten your hopes up too high. Interacting with the church volunteers? That’s the real sweet treat here.
Verdict: Skip
