It’s All Lies

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily digest of important, overlooked, and/or interesting Minnesota news stories.

We All Know What's Happening

As we become adults, most of us learn to be skeptical of claims made by the government and other authorities. Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that you no longer need to be skeptical of the federal government. The bad news is that this is because everything the Trump administration says is a lie.

After five years of Trump in office (and something like 50 years of him in the public eye), this is no great revelation. But for those of us in Minnesota, the scale of the dishonesty is really registering these days, as nearly everything we experience is contradicted by a regime that hates us because it can't defeat us. Each show of indifference to the truth is a display of power.

We see this at the broadest level. Pepper-spraying observers and abducting U.S. citizens is not “immigration enforcement.” The people waiting at bus stops who’ve been snatched are not “the worst of the worst.” There are no waves of “paid protesters.” And, no matter what Greg Bovino, Lord High Commander of the Dreaded Unified Immigration Forces or whatever the fuck he’s called, chirps in his Newcleus “Jam on It” voice, ICE is not “professional and courteous.” 

And while Trump brandishes a big book labeled “ACCOMPLISHMENTS” in his latest racist, senescent sideshow, here's what MPR News discovered after examining a list of arrests that DHS claims to have made in Operation Metro Surge: "Most of the people on the list had been immediately transferred to ICE custody at the end of time served in Minnesota prisons.” And most of these transfers came before December 1—sometimes years earlier.

Now let’s look at what DHS had to say about ChongLy “Scott” Thao, the Hmong elder dragged half-naked from his St. Paul home on Sunday by ICE operatives. After such a botched operation, you’d think at least the guy would deserve an apology.

Instead, here’s what DHS spokes-liar Tricia McLaughlin had to say: “The US citizen lives with these two convicted sex offenders at the site of the operation. The individual refused to be fingerprinted or facially ID’d. He matched the description of the targets.” 

And here’s what Thao told the Associated Press: “Only he, his son and daughter-in-law and his grandson live at the rental home.” AP also reports, “Neither they nor the property’s owner are listed in the Minnesota sex offender registry. The nearest sex offender listed as living in the zip code is more than two blocks away.”

Or take the case of Castaneda Mondragon, admitted to HCMC after suffering a “catastrophic” and “life-threatening” head injury while in ICE custody, according to this report from Sahan Journal’s Karina Pross. According to the agents who brought Mondragon in, he was “laying down in handcuffs when he attempted to flee, and then, for unknown reasons, purposefully ran headfirst into a brick wall.” As one does.

There’s a good reason Racket does not quote ICE agents or DHS officials or other Trump admin sources to “balance” a story: We don’t believe them.

Does Anyone Want to Be Governor? 

It feels like forever ago, but it’s only been about two weeks since Gov. Tim Walz announced he would not be seeking re-election. And Minnesota has certainly had enough to keep it occupied in the days since. Still, it’s curious if not troubling that no one has stepped forward as a candidate on the DFL side. 

Today, in fact, one possible candidate bowed out of the race. Keith Ellison announced that he was instead running for re-election as state attorney general.

Three names have been bandied about as possible candidates: U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar (DFL-MN), Minnesota Secretary of State Steve Simon, and state Senenate Majority Leader Erin Murphy (DFL-St. Paul). None of them have made any statements. Personally, if I had any desire to be the governor of Minnesota while its cities (and not just the Cities) were overrun with fascist goons, I’d be out the front lines protecting Minnesotans. 

Hmm, this person might be onto something.

Haha, just kidding. Unless...

Cops Struggle to Say Bad Things About ICE

If you’ve ever wanted to witness how hard it is for law enforcement officers to criticize their own, check out the press conference held by the heads of local departments this afternoon. The stated objective was to identify instances where ICE had overstepped its bounds, and the speakers did an pretty good job at that—up to a point.

Chief Mark Bruley of Brooklyn Park spoke movingly of an officer who had been targeted because of her race, adding ”If it is happening to our officers, it pains me to think how many community members are falling victim to this every day."

BUT!

"This is not widespread. This is a small group of agents,” Bruley insisted. “I’ve received phone calls from ICE agents and HSI agents indicating this is not how they act, this is not what they do.” Except, I guess, when they do.

Hennepin County Sheriff Dawanna Witt echoed Bruley, calling out “the questionable and sometimes unethical actions of some—some—federal agents,” but insisting, “I want to be clear that I am not saying all federal agents."

You think there's some connection between how law enforcement professionals can't admit that ICE is a fundamentally flawed organization and how they can't recognize the flaws of everyday policing?

Let’s Hear It for “Sinister Minnesotans” and Our “Suspicious Hot Dish”

There’s a good chance your favorite conservative cartoonist is “Stan Kelly,” the name Ward Sutton draws under for The Onion. You may know him from the window-peering guy labeled “Sickos.” In an exaggerated version of the style of bizarro conspiracist Ben Garrison and other right-wing hacks—a style that would seem to be beyond parody—Sutton labels everyone and everything he can while his alter ego Kelly snickers in the corner of each drawing.

Kelly’s most recent cartoon is titled “To Noem Is To Love ’Em,” and it’s populated by our cosmetically damaged DHS Secretary and multiple ICE thugs who are tagged “Quick Learners,” “Go-Getters,” and “Self-Starters.” But the real star is a nefarious woman being pinned down and pepper sprayed, ID’d as “Sinister Minnesotans” and carrying “Suspicious Hot Dish.”

All we can say to that is, "Yes… Ha ha ha… Yes!"