Here's a URL I never thought I'd see: ArbysVodka.com.
Yet there it is, in a Tuesday morning Facebook post from Tattersall Distilling Co. It feels like some poor social media manager forgot to hit send on a gag intended for April 1—blessedly, it appears to be very real.
"Your favorite fries are now 80 proof," reads the post from the northeast Minneapolis distiller. "We teamed up with Arby's to distill an extremely limited quantity of Curly Fry Vodka and Crinkle Fry Vodka, available exclusively at arbysvodka.com starting November 18."
Just in time for Thanksgiving at Grandma's!
Click the link, and after passing the extreme security measure of entering your date of birth, you're greeted by a little time ticker counting off the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until these fry-flavored vodkas hit virtual shelves.
Let's be clear about one thing: Racket is a pro-fast food novelty vodka shop, and personally I cannot wait to splash this french-fry vodka in a bloody Mary. Already set a reminder on my phone. If anything this doesn't go far enough—they should do Big Beef and Cheddar vodka next and make some sort of Crunchwrap Supreme spirit after that. If a contractual agreement has tethered Tattersall to Arby's parent company, Georgia-based Inspire Brands, they've got this inspired flavor portfolio to work with: Buffalo Wild Wings, Sonic Drive-In, Jimmy John's, Rusty Taco, Mister Donut, Dunkin', and Baskin-Robbins.
Arby's CMO Patrick Schwing tells Thrillist that the potato-based liquor is “infused with Crinkle and Curly fry flavor so Arby's fans can enjoy our menu from bag to bottle.” They worked with Twin Cities chef Justin Sutherland on a handful of Arby's-inspired cocktail recipes, which the fast food chain will share on its social media channels the day the vodka drops. Thrillist also has the price tag: $59.99 a bottle.
Per the fine print, the product is 40% ABV (80 proof)—and while you can get it in Minnesota, you can't get it everywhere.
"Distilled and bottled by Tattersall Distilling Company, Minneapolis, MN," the tiny text at the bottom of the webpage reads. "Only available at ArbysVodka.com to residents aged 21+ in CA, CT, DC, FL, ID, LA, MN, NE, NV, OR, WV, and WY for a limited time. Quantities extremely limited. Void where prohibited. Adult signature required."
There you have it, folks. November 18.