For months an idea had been incubating in the back of my brain, thanks to two unrelated online conversations. The first concerned an NYC cinema crawl I envied; the second was the realization that the E Line Bus Rapid Transit traveling along Hennepin Avenue connected multiple conveniently placed movie theaters. After looking at schedules (transit and theater), I determined that I could make the logistics work for a public transit cinema crawl of my own.
The bus and the movie theater are 20th century institutions that share important defining characteristics. They’re communal experiences that can be either enhanced or made miserable depending on who is participating. Though both began as working-class enterprises, either can bring you elbow to elbow with the wealthy and/or influential. And they also both remain largely accessible. An all-day pass for Metro Transit runs a mere four bucks, and while you can pay through the nose for movie tickets, there are a host of discount days, memberships, and inexpensive repertory screenings for film fans on a budget.
The rules for my crawl were simple enough. 1) I wanted to watch movies I hadn’t seen already. 2) Each film would be at a different stop and theater. 3) All transportation (besides walking) would be accomplished via the E Line. As a transit and film festival veteran, it was a challenge suited to my particular strengths. After pre-purchasing movie tickets and a day pass I was ready to go.
Uptown Transit Station to Southdale Transit Center, 9:43 a.m.–10:05 a.m.
Jackass: Best and Last (AMC Southdale 16)
I hopped on the southbound E Line, which was empty except for another passenger heading out to the mall. The ride flew by and left me with plenty of time to make my way through Southdale and stop for a coffee. MacGuffins, AMCs lightly cinema-themed cocktail bar, was, I noted with amusement, already open for business. I had a long day and many movies ahead of me so I decided to abstain for the time being. But perhaps a bloody mary matinee is in my future.
I’ve been aware of Johnny Knoxville and his shenanigans since the Big Brother days. I’m not exactly a Jackass devotee, but I appreciate that the movies allow these masochists the creative freedom to push the boundaries of pain tolerance and taste past what they could accomplish on television. Best and Last blends new material with archival footage spanning the history of the series.
It’s the onslaught of bad tattoos, bodily fluids, and genital brutality anyone familiar with Knoxville and Co. would expect, though there is an element of poignance to the mayhem. The age of the original cast is occasionally reflected in the stunts—a robotic prostate exam and a nearly nude game of Twister played after drinking colonoscopy prep—as well as sentimental moments acknowledging that this wild journey is winding down. Cheating death riding a giant rocket or facing an enraged bull isn’t in the cards for men over 50 but they’re still left with the bonds they’ve forged after a quarter-century of violence and hilarity.
My quiet, sparsely populated bus ride presaged my theatrical experience. Though the few others in attendance gamely laughed and groaned along with me, I wished I had seen Best and Last with a raucous crowd. Perhaps it’s my own mortality staring me in the face, but I also found the genuine affection expressed between these guys touching. Perhaps the cure to the male loneliness epidemic is more groin shots and poop jokes. Personally, I hope not. But maybe...
Southdale Transit Center to France & 50th Station, 12:49 p.m–12:56 p.m.
Toy Story 5 (Edina 4)
The E Line was my private shuttle on the ride over to 50th and France, which took mere minutes. I had time to grab tacos at Pajarito to fuel me through the next film—there’s something conceptually satisfying about subsisting solely on theater concessions for the duration of this mini-marathon, but I find it’s best to eat real food when the opportunity presents itself.
I attend the Edina semi-regularly and I’m a huge fan of its The Shining-themed remodel. After having my eyeballs blasted with male nudity and fecal matter, I was ready to settle into something more wholesome with the latest entry in Pixar’s flagship franchise. I’m too old to have truly “grown up” with Toy Story, but I’ve always admired the series and respected that Pixar champions the art of animation in addition to the technical wizardry they’ve helped to pioneer.
Part 5 takes up after the events of Toy Story 4. Cowgirl Jessie (Joan Cusack) now leads the familiar bunch of toys, who spend their days playing with their latest kid, Bonnie. Their idyllic existence is upset with the arrival of Lilypad (Greta Lee), a stand-in for iPads, phones, and assorted devices that dominate so much of our attention. While Bonnie struggles to make friends with her screen-obsessed peers, Jessie and Lily become embroiled in an escalating battle for Bonnie’s affection.
Toy Story 5 is fairly plotty and introduces several new characters (including a Conan O’Brien-voiced potty-training game) but moves quickly and remains essentially charming. It’s easy to sympathize with the message encouraging creative play and forging real-world connections with the right people, even if the film attempts to settle onto a shaky middle ground. The performances are still fun, and, though it seems quaint to mention it, the animation looks incredible. It’s odd that Pixar films fixate nostalgically for an analog world before the digital one they helped to usher in. Maybe they should do a movie about buses?
France & 50th Station to Uptown Transit Station, 3:45 p.m.–3:59 p.m.
Maddie’s Secret (Landmark Lagoon Cinema)
Another speedy trip from Edina to the Uptown Transit Station adjacent to the Lagoon. I was able to meet my wife for this leg and we grabbed a drink at Mari’s Watch Bar.
I have a long history with the Lagoon: I worked there for a bit in the late ’90s and I’ve seen many films there over the years. I love that it’s still around and still programming some interesting films, but an interior refresh would be very welcome.
We went into writer/director/star John Early’s debut largely blind. Early plays Maddie, an aspiring chef currently working the lowest rung on the ladder of a food content creation mill run by a hilariously sinister Conner O’Malley. When Maddie agrees to post a recipe video on her social media, she becomes a viral sensation and the new star of Gourmaybe Digital Originals.
But the pressure of her celebrity status, compounded by friction with old friends and new rivals, causes Maddie to relapse into the eating disorder she thought she had overcome. The toll on her health lands her in treatment where she meets a pack of misfit fellow patients and confronts some wildly traumatic incidents from childhood.
This all sounds deathly serious, but Early tells Maddie’s story with ample helpings of camp and humor. Inspired by made-for-TV melodramas, Secret strikes a tone that immediately reminded me of some of the lighter ’90s New Queer Cinema that screened at the Lagoon back when I was tearing tickets. Early’s characters possess a naïve sweetness (or they’re cartoonishly villainous) which could be endearing or off-putting depending on how generous you feel towards them. The action is also interspersed with dance sequences from the “radical queer movement gym” that Maddie joins to literally exercise her demons, which adds to the theatrical feel of the movie. The ending didn’t totally cohere for me, but I thought Early was excellent and I really appreciated that the film didn’t overindulge in texting and apps even though it’s set in the world of social media. All in all, a classic Lagoon experience.
Uptown Transit Station to Hennepin & 2nd St. NE Station, 6:25 a.m.–6:50 p.m.
Backrooms: The Everything Must Go Edition (The Main Cinema)
The next bus ride was the liveliest of the day. I always found the old Route 6 bus a reliable connection between Uptown and downtown, but the faster (especially with the addition of bus lanes) and more frequent E Line has been a big win. I ride the E very regularly to the Main and especially rely on it during MSPIFF every spring. It can feel like a minor slog once you hit Hennepin’s main drag, but the trip is fairly swift and you get to look smart when your friends ask you where you managed to park.
I hate to say I’ve been ducking A24’s summer sensation, Backrooms, but nothing I’d read about it filled me with confidence. Inspired by a snippet of 4Chan creepypasta, piloted on YouTube, and influenced by aesthetics drawn from found footage and video games, it sounded destined to irritate me. However, it fit well into my day, and I was curious what all the hype was about.
Backrooms tells the story of a man who discovers a portal to another reality in the basement of his furniture store and his therapist who follows him there when he seems to have gone missing. This alternate place is comprised largely of strange liminal spaces covered in banal wallpaper and office-space lighting reminiscent of '80s chain hotels, but it’s made very apparent that there are more ominous presences lurking in darker corners.
It’s a viewing experience steeped in its own atmosphere of tape hiss and fluorescent hum, and I was impressed how readily I slipped into its flow. Some of this is due to a good cast anchored by Chiwetel Ejiofor and Renate Reinsve, but clearly much of the credit belongs to 20-year-old director Kane Parsons.
Despite the online provenance of Backrooms, Parsons employed a refreshingly analog approach to bring his creation to the big screen. The special effects lean on practical techniques and the “backrooms” consist largely of physical sets instead of green-screen environments. It lends the whole project a tangibility that suits the late '80s/early '90s setting of the film.
I can’t say that I found Backrooms nearly as unsettling or fascinating as its legions of young fans seem to, but it’s a thoughtful and admirably cohesive vision from the mostly self-taught Parsons. I understand that studios are already (and predictably) scouring the net for the next online-to-screen hit, which doesn’t necessarily bode well. Still, if Parson’s film is inspiring folks to write their own Backrooms stories or shoot their own shorts, I’m all for it.
A part of me wanted to stay at the Main for the Midnight Mayhem screening of Uncle Sam, but after a full day of transit and cinema, I was cooked. It was both a ridiculous exercise and one that allowed me to revel in some things I love about cities. Exploration, communal experiences, and feeling the escalating energy throughout the day reflected in both my bus rides and the movie crowds.
Another important characteristic shared by transit riding and theater attendance is that they are habits that can be built. The more you experience them, the more likely you are to continue choosing them as viable options for transportation or entertainment. More exposure to both certainly increases the likelihood that you’ll have a negative experience but it also means more chances to have surprising or delightful experiences.
As much as we like to be catered to by apps and algorithms, those unexpected moments with other people tend to deliver the real joy of being in an urban area. Riding the bus to a series of new releases may lack the prestige of a major film festival, but that Metro Transit pass is much cheaper than a ticket to France.
