The Minnesota Department of Natural Resources gets questions.
Anyone who’s ever worked a customer service job knows how wide-ranging the queries you get can be. So you can just imagine the questions that the DNR’s St. Paul Call Center must field.
But thanks to a Twitter account apparently run by some DNR employees, you don’t have to imagine them. You can read ’em.
Since July 2019, an account called “Alt-DNR Info Center” (@dnrAlt) has been tweeting out what it calls “actual questions from the public asked of the MN DNR Information Center.” The account name is a nod to the various “alt” posters that sprouted on social media during the Trump years, claiming to be rogue agency employees resisting their wicked bosses. But @dnrAlt doesn’t seem to be run by agency moles—just folks who want to document the curious interactions they have with the public.
(We reached out to the account but haven’t heard back yet, so we can't confirm how actually "actual" these questions are. I doubt a fake account would get as mundane as “There is a hunter hunting on my property and I didn’t give him permission.” But if they did prank us, we’re... well, I guess we’re gonna be mad.)
The tweets cover a wide range of topics. Some callers have very specific needs.
I would like to try eating beaver meat. How would I acquire this?
— Alt-DNR Info Center (@DnrAlt) September 14, 2021
Some have overarching frustrations with bureaucracy.
I don’t care about the DNR any more.
— Alt-DNR Info Center (@DnrAlt) August 11, 2021
Some offer intriguing and mysterious information.
I want to send you a picture of deer with strange eyes.
— Alt-DNR Info Center (@DnrAlt) September 13, 2021
Some have questions seemingly beyond the scope of the MN DNR.
My son and I bought a property in the state of Washington and the prior owner stocked a drainage pond with goldfish. Is this legal?
— Alt-DNR Info Center (@DnrAlt) September 13, 2021
And some—well, some seem to be looking back on their lives, wondering why things didn’t turn out differently, and turning desperately to the DNR for help.
In 1964 at the age of 12, could I have purchased a deer hunting license if I had firearm safety? I’m trying to determine why my dad did not let me hunt until I was 16.
— Alt-DNR Info Center (@DnrAlt) August 24, 2021
The only frustrating aspect of @dnrAlt is that you get the questions but no answers. So you’ll have to figure out where to find beaver meat—or if your father never really loved you—on your own. Or you could just call the DNR.