The Midwest dive bar: a place where the phrase “that place kinda sucks; I love it” somehow makes sense. Across local media, subreddits, and SEO-optimized AI slop search results, the best local dive is a highly sought-after destination. Ranking these dimly lit, atmospheric neighborhood staples based on their selection, pricing, vibe, and reputation is, correspondingly, reasonable and popular. It has also been done to death.
But many Minneapolis dives share a quality that hasn’t yet been ranked. It's an architectural feature that has aged itself into being trendy again: the glass block window. They’re the perfect solution for when you want to let a little light in but don’t want a window that something (or someone) can be thrown through. Once I started noticing glass block windows, I started to see them everywhere. Some of the better ones are even pretty, in a “default desktop wallpaper starter pack” sort of way.
So, with all the reasonable dive bar rankings already written, these omnipresent glass cubes present an opportunity that’s even cheaper than the beers on tap: low-stakes judgment on the internet. Ignoring all other useful metrics, which dive's glass block assortment looks the best?
The rules: I’m only including dive bars in Minneapolis that are open at the time of publishing, and I’m only ranking them by their glass block windows. (Want to rank glass block windows in St. Paul? You know what to do.) I’ve probably missed some places and it’s possible I’ll be wrong on some stuff, but if you’ve read this far, I’ve already won—we have your click.
9. Northeast Yacht Club
Yes, we're starting with #9, but this is still a top ten list. I’ve graded on a curve.
The Northeast Yacht Club is a lovely venue that does not deserve to be in last place, but here we are, gazing at a very sad collection of glass blocks. All function and no form, this window casts its jaundice-yellow gaze into the parking lot behind the building from an obscured back room. I assume the metal block in the middle is there to vent fumes, because this window’s visuals stink.
8. Tony Jaros River Garden
One thing you might notice about these windows? Zero backlighting. Zero aura.
There's a method to the dimness, though. These south-facing windows run the length of the bar, and without the venetian blinds, customers would be blasted with sunlight as late as 9 p.m. in the summer. If it’s a dive bar, it’s gotta be dim, but if it’s a good glass block window getting judged on this list, it’s gotta be lit up from inside. Tony Jaros isn’t at fault; that pesky daylight doomed its chances from the start.
7. N.E. Palace
Venture a few blocks east on Lowry Avenue for slightly brighter prospects, window-wise.
N.E. Palace is no Versailles, and that’s a compliment. Around the corner from the entrance, pale blue light glows from the two small 4x3 block windows by the dumpsters. Sure, they’re cute and minimalist, but they’re just not bright enough, and the windows are tiny.
6. Knight Cap
Big glass block window? Yes. Nearly-as-big off-center sign? Sadly, also yes. Maybe it’s the high school mascot styling of the knight logo, but the billboard gives me a “list of rules” feeling. I watch current events; I like and appreciate rules, but this imagined imposition really poisoned my personal window-judging experience. On the upside, the window itself is huge and backlit.
5. Shaw's
An over-achiever has entered the list.
The front entrance at Shaw’s facing University Ave has twin glass block windows that curve inward towards the recessed front door. Fancy! The light from inside falls a little flat, though. They’ve added a disco light projector between the windows that shines onto the sidewalk, so someone must have agreed.
4. Mayslack’s
The glass block window at Mayslack’s scores so highly for me because of the environmental storytelling. Look at the sides of the window blocks. Then look at the middle. Somebody here had access to glass block cutting technology, but not a measuring tape. Can you picture the old-timey comedy sketch that played out to make this happen? How many Hamm’s were involved?
I’m sure they sell half-sized blocks and none of this happened, but it’s still a cool window.
3. Bull’s Horn
Seven bars in, and we finally get to leave Northeast Minneapolis (briefly).
Bull’s Horn strays pretty far from “proper” dive bar status. It has the neighborhood atmosphere and grungy look, but they close at 10. For the sake of geographic variety (and that burger) I think it’s worth inclusion. Besides, look at the windows!
I love the behind-the-bar paraphernalia that’s just barely visible through the warped glass. Plus, these blocks have an etched grid pattern that looks how a third coffee feels.
2. Grumpy's
The loud colors, string lights and slow-blinking neon signage are unmistakable as cheery staples of the Grumpy’s brand. Look past the bright blue-green exterior and you’ll notice that all of the windows on the ground floor are glass blocks. Unlike at Tony Jaros, Grumpy’s has enough shade to leave the blinds off. With all that backlighting, you can almost make out the good times being had inside.
1. Palmer's
This West Bank landmark was always going to win this.
Palmer’s has a few large glass block windows, and two stand out. By the entrance, one is illuminated with a Hamm’s sign that's only legible from up close. But the real show is actually at the end of the building by the crosswalk stop lights. The walls meet at the point of a triangle, where there’s a small stage in front of two magnificent windows. The outside area is well-lit but it doesn’t matter; the stage lighting and ambient glow from indoors are enough to make the window light up beautifully. Cool glass block window? Best glass block window.
Honorable Mention: Meteor Bar
Meteor Bar’s bare-bones storefront is like millennial gray’s cooler sibling. And that window out front—the largest in size and block count on this list—is a sight. The Christmas lights being displayed and lit up late into March appeals to my HOA-defying sense of justice. The problem? It’s published Racket canon that Meteor isn’t a dive bar. This list is only for dives and I don’t make the rules*, so Meteor is out of the official running.
*I did make the rules.
