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Events

Free Pinball, Holiday Drag, and a Vegan Meat Raffle: This Week’s Best Events

Do you want to drink booze in the midst of twinkling holiday lights? Yeah, we have a ton of those, too.

GLOW

Welcome to Event Horizon, your weekly roundup of the best events in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

Credit: GLOW

MONDAY 12.5

GLOW Holiday Festival

CHS Field

This season, CHS Field gives baseball a rest and becomes a winter wonderland for you to explore. Attractions include Brite Bikes, an interactive Christmas tree light show that people control via cycling (think of it kinda like a festive spin class). There are a few installments that sound like a trip, literally. There’s an enchanted forest, filled with twinkling trees; “glitter critters,” an area dedicated to electrically sparkling “animals”; and Spire Alley, described as a “psychedelic cross between a fuzzy blacklight poster and spirograph.” Folks who like to get lost in the snow will appreciate the Reindeer Run maze, while thrill seekers might enjoy the giant snow slide. Santa visits, a makers’ markets, and liquor, wine, and beer round out this big ol’ fest. $10. 5-9 p.m. Sunday through Thursday; 5-10 p.m. Friday through Saturday. Reserve your time and find more details at glowholiday.com. 360 N. Broadway St., St. Paul. Through January 1—Jessica Armbruster

Vegan Meat Raffle

Falling Knife Brewing Company

One of the great tragedies of sticking to a vegan or vegetarian diet in Minnesota? You don’t get to participate in that storied, meat-winning midwestern tradition: the meat raffle. Unless, that is, you get to Falling Knife on Monday, where they’re raffling off an array of vegan meats and cheeses courtesy of Drew Barrymore’s close personal friends at The Herbivorous Butcher. For just a buck a ticket—the proceeds of which are going to HB’s nonprofit sanctuary farm, Herbivorous Acres—you’ll have a chance to win one of two prizes in each round. It’s the perfect way to start stocking the vegan charcuterie board at your upcoming holiday get-together. Free to attend. 6-9 p.m. 783 Harding St. NE, Minneapolis.—Em Cassel 

Credit: Lawless
The gang’s all here!

Miracle at Lawless

Lawless Distillery

We love it when a cocktail bar goes fancy for the holiday, and Lawless never disappoints. This season, every square inch of the space will be packed with crap, including silvery tinsel, twinkling lights, bulbs galore, and tchotchkes, tchotchkes, tchotchkes. The drinks are also festive: The Christmapolitan, for example, is a fancy drink made with vodka, Creme de Flora, and spiced cranberry syrup, topped with a big hunk of rosemary. Prefer to sip on a non-alcoholic bevvy? The bar will be serving up two different mocktails as well. Stop by after work, after a day of shopping (Moon Palace Books is nearby!), or before a round of bowling at Memory Lanes—no reservations necessary. 5-11 p.m. Mondays through Wednesdays; 5 p.m. to midnight Thursdays and Fridays; 2 p.m. to midnight Saturdays; 2-11 p.m. Sundays. 2619 28th Ave. S., Minneapolis. Through December 31—Jessica Armbruster

Lakes & Legends 7th B-day

Lakes & Legends

You can’t go wrong with a brewpub birthday, so count us in for this seven-day series celebrating Lakes & Legends. Though the big party is on Saturday, there will be plenty to do leading up to the main event. That includes free pinball all day on Monday, Trivia Mafia on Tuesday, Bingo with Firefighters for Healing on Wednesday, a meat raffle and beer benefit for Children’s MN’s gender affirming program on Thursday, and on Friday the pub is going fusion crazy on all their flagship brews. Saturday is the big day, with two new beer releases: Party Starter, an Australian sparkling ale, and Drunk Gnome, a Belgian quad. Minneapolis Craft Market will be there from noon to 5 p.m., if you feel like doing a little shopping and drinking, and there will be live music and food. 10 a.m. to close. 1368 Lasalle Ave., Minneapolis.—Jessica Armbruster

TUESDAY 12.6

The Jinkx and DeLa Holiday Show

The Fitzgerald Theater

Jinkx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme are back with another year of their delightfully unhinged holiday special, where the pathologically chipper DeLa and the “internationally tolerated” icon Jinkx sing songs, trade barbs, and generally have a merry old time. Wanna know just what kind of sweet-slash-sacrilegious fun you’re in for with these festive queens? You can watch their 2020 special on Hulu, or find their holiday album on Spotify. Recommended listening for while you’re decking the halls! $49+. 7 p.m. 10 E Exchange St., St. Paul; find tickets and additional info here.—Em Cassel

WEDNESDAY 12.7

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Graze Provisions + Libations

Is a North Loop establishment called “Graze Provisions + Libations,” one that has vendors called “The Fabled Rooster” and “Avocadish,” so unspeakably millennial-annoying that it’s effectively a Portlandia sketch? Yes. But is the place just fine? Also yes. (Plus Union Hmong Kitchen rocks.) And it’s hard to argue with free popcorn, a heated tent, and a screening of the Jim Carrey-starring, Ron Howard-directing Grinch from 2000. (Be warned: My four-year-old nephew recently found the first few pages of the Seuss book “too scary.”) Free. 6 p.m. 520 N. Fourth St., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Jay Boller

Credit: Darin Kamnetz
A Very Vintage Holiday Party

FRIDAY 12.9 

A Very Vintage Holiday Party

The W Hotel

Unless you’re buds with your coworkers, Christmas parties are hell. Christmas after-work happy hours, though? Those are pretty great. This week, the Foshay is hosting a fancy pop-up cocktail party perfectly timed for folks working downtown. Here the festive cocktail menu will be strong and elegant, and the Minneapolis Vintage Market will set up shop with unique items to puruse and perhaps purchase, all from women- and BIPOC-owned businesses. This is also a benefit party for Twin Cities Toy Drive, so your conscience will feel good the next morning even if your body is a little hungover. Reservations can be made here. Free with registration/toy donation; $10 otherwise. 5-9 p.m. 821 S. Marquette Ave., Minneapolis.—Jessica Armbruster

Carmen Lagala

Comedy Corner Underground

The Vermont-raised, NYC-based Legala is such a delightful teller of observational anecdotes, she’ll catch you off guard. A bit about cramped train rides gets a quick scissoring riff; one about a gynecological visit is interrupted by “demon noises,” per her subtitle wording choice. Lagala’s natural onstage confidence scored her a TV spot on Colbert a few years back, and she’s a regular at the New York Comedy Club. $15. 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday. 1501 Washington Ave. S., Minneapolis; find more info here.—Jay Boller

Lemonheads, Juliana Hatfield

First Avenue

A fun pastime for middle-aged music fans is to seek out the career paths of post-peak modern rockers that do not cause unrelenting despair. For both Evan Dando (who essentially is the Lemonhead now) and Juliana Hatfield (a former Lemonhead herself), that meant plenty of cover-song projects. Former People mag Beautiful Person and all-around alterna-hunk Dando has taken the mix-and-match approach—on 2019’s all-covers Varshons 2, the first Lemonheads album since the all-covers Varshons 10 years earlier, songs from the Jayhawks and Lucinda Williams sit right beside Florida Georgia Line’s “Round Here.” Hatfield has been steadily writing and recording new material in our post-alt century, even rousing Paul Westerberg from his slumbers for a bit to record with her as the I Don’t Cares, but she’s also released tribute albums to The Police and Olivia Newton-John. The Lemonheads, incidentally, are celebrating the 30th anniversary of It’s a Shame About Ray, which they’ll play in their entirety. With Bass Drum of Death and On Being an Angel. $30/$35. 6:50 p.m. 701 First Ave. N., Minneapolis; more info here.—Keith Harris

SATURDAY 12.10

Modest Mouse

Palace Theater

With regard to “holding the fuck up,” it’s tough to top The Lonesome Crowded West. Modest Mouse didn’t just avoid the dreaded sophomore slump with their 1997 release—they created a top-to-bottom indie rock artifact for the ages. Young Isaac Brock took on timeless themes of isolation and urban sprawl with poetic heft and a no shortage of winks; his Pacific Northwest band raged and noodled through soaring, complex song structures with an ambition early 20-somethings often attempt but rarely nail. (I can’t recommend this 45-minute Pitchfork doc (above) on Lonesome enough.) Anyway, that’s a roundabout way of saying: Modest Mouse, now established alt-rock royalty, will be performing Lonesome Crowded West in its entirety at the Palace. Let’s all get over to St. Paul and do the cockroach! $45-$75. 7 p.m. 17 W. Seventh Place, St. Paul; find more info here.—Jay Boller

Grrrl Scout

Hook & Ladder 

LGBTQ+ dance night Grrrl Scout won’t convene until next spring, so it’s sending off 2022 with a “QUEER AF formal.” Dubbed “Don the GAY APPAREL,” the holiday bash will feature DJs AriAtari and Mommy Long Legs, dance duo Coffē, plus other TBA special guests. “Kinda formal” attire is encouraged, though inclusivity and self-expression override any dance-night edicts. Interest piqued? Act quick, organizers say this one is almost sold out. $20-$30. 9:30 p.m. 3010 Minnehaha Ave; find more info here.—Jay Boller

SUNDAY 12.11

Bill Frisell & Petra Haden

Dakota

Frisell has made a career of showcasing his own versatility while still honing a distinctive guitar style. Atmospheric originals, reinterpreted film soundtracks, straight jazz, bent country, standards, contemporary pop—he’s taken it all in and Friselled it in his image. He’s touring as a duo with Petra Haden, the violinist and vocalist you’re most likely to know from her work with alt-rock greats That Dog. I once saw her deliver an a cappella “Wuthering Heights” while touring as part of the Decemberists; I appreciate her all-vocal recording of The Who Sell Out for sticking to the bit and have preserved that appreciation by never listening to it.The two musicians have teamed up in the past, most recently on Frisell’s 2019 album Harmony, most significantly on the helpfully titled Petra Haden and Bill Frisell, from 2003. Expect a dreamy wash of music, with plenty of tunes you recognize, or that at least feel familiar. $40-$50. 7 p.m. 1010 Nicollet Mall, Minneapolis; more info here.—Keith Harris

Credit: Norway House

ONGOING

Rosy Simas Danse: She Who Lives on the Road to War

Weisman Art Museum/All My Relations Arts

Part art installation, part dance performance, She Who Lives on the Road to War examines potential paths to a peaceful future via indigenous history. The exhibit’s title is inspired by the life of Jigonhsasee, an ancient Haudenosaunee woman, known as the Mother of Nations, who once touted war between tribes but eventually changed her ways and advocated for peace. Can you imagine what that kind of turnaround would look like in today’s world? That’s kind of the point of this show, which encourages people to rest, grieve, and “consider how we can all work towards reconciliation during the dual pandemics of systematic racism and COVID-19.” You can see installations at both WAM and All My Relations Arts, and both venues will host dance performances during the show’s run. RSVP for free tickets and find the entire performance schedule here. Weisman Art Museum’s (333 E. River Rd., University of Minnesota, Minneapolis) show runs through February 5, while events at All My Relations (1414 E. Franklin Ave., Minneapolis) are through December 15.—Jessica Armbruster

European Christmas Market

Union Depot

Yeah, Americans know how to decorate a mall real fancy, but Europeans definitely trump us with their classy, old world-style markets. The best attempt at one of these in the Twin Cities is at the Union Depot, where the festive European Christmas Market offers wholesome fun each winter. Events take place indoors and outdoors each weekend, with plenty to see and do. Traditional eats available for purchase include baklava, raclette, pierogi, spätzle, brats, and Glühwein (aka mulled wine). Shop from local and international vendors selling wooden toys, glass ornaments, and other giftables. Traditional music, dance, and other entertainment rounds out the event. Check out stpaulchristmasmarket.org for more info. 4-9 p.m. Fridays; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturdays; 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sundays. 240 E. Kellogg Blvd., St. Paul. Through December 18—Jessica Armbruster

Holidazzle

Loring Park

Holidazzle was once an illuminated parade that ran through downtown Minneapolis. But, like many things that have been around for decades, a few years ago it had to pivot and transform. These days, the event is a festival in Loring Park. Each weekend, there’s a ton of stuff to see and do. A few of their greatest hits include a carousel, a 17-foot-tall illuminated Yeti sculpture, and a beer garden, where you can enjoy wifi and brew and seltzers from Fulton. Kids can enjoy a playground area plus visits from Santa, while teens and grownups might get a kick out of weekly drag bingo. There will also be dog-friendly fun, live music, local artists and makers, and fireworks every Saturday evening. Find the complete schedule here. Free. 5-9 p.m. Fridays; noon to 9 p.m. Saturdays; noon to 6 p.m. Sundays. 1382 Willow St. S., Minneapolis. Through December 18—Jessica Armbruster

A Very Die Hard Christmas

Bryant-Lake Bowl

Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking about Die Hard twice this week. But this annual holiday production has been going on for yeeeears, and has truly become its own holiday beast. Here Die Hard is merely the frame that holds that story together, following NYC cop John McClane as he single-handedly takes down a group of German terrorists holding his estranged wife and Japanese business men hostage. As he makes his way through the L.A. skyscraper, audiences are treated to a mashup of just about every iconic holiday flick, with callbacks, improv, music, and chaos, plus a visit from Santa who’s ready to kick ass. The cast includes regulars Josh Carson (tank topped, raspy-voiced, and bloody), Anna Weggel, Brad Erickson, Matt Sciple, Leslie Vincent, and Duck Washington, with Kelsey Laurel and Aron Woldeslassie debuting this year. Get ready to feel warm and festive (and also buzzed; they serve a full bar in the theater) as you watch Hans Gruber fall from the great heights of the BLB’s tiny stage. Christmas vengeance is so heartwarming! $25. Shows are generally 8 or 10 p.m. Thursdays through Sundays; check bryantlakebowl.com/theater for the complete schedule. 810 W. Lake St., Minneapolis. Through December 22—Jessica Armbruster

Georgina & Kitty: Christmas at Pemberley 

Jungle Theater

Jane Austen may have only written one Pride and Prejudice, but thanks to public domain and a still-active fanbase the Darcys and Bennets continue to entertain us with wacky hijinks and biting social commentary via Lauren Gunderson and Margot Melcon’s nationally lauded plays. First there was Miss Bennet, which followed bookish middle sibling Mary as she sought love and intellectual stimulation, next The Wickhams took a look at that same story via the perspectives of the servants behind the scenes. Georgina & Kitty, the final installment in the series, follows the youngest Darcy and Bennet sisters as they plan for their futures, hope for love, and deepen their friendship. 2951 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis. Through December 23—Jessica Armbruster

Die Hard is a Xmas Movie and 4 Other Films

The Parkway Theater

You can only see A Christmas Story, Home Alone, or It’s a Wonderful Life so many times before your brain melts. But how often do you get into the spirit of the season watching Gremlins? Well, maybe you should. We live in odd times, so you might as well make the movie choices weird, too. Parkway’s untraditional take on the holiday series kicks off this week with that Joe Dante classic about a cute little Mogwai that multiplies when wet and turns into an evil lizard-thing if it eats after midnight. This is an ‘80s movie, so there will be puppets (but definitely no Muppets). The following week, we have Bad Santa, where Billy Bob Thornton plays a drunk horny mall Santa who learns the spirit of Christmas by being kinda nice to a kid he’s scamming. Next is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, a classic that brought us memorable quotes like, “Shitter’s full!” Then there’s Die Hard, an action flick about a cop who crawls through a ventilation system to save his (also bad-ass) estranged wife from an eeeevil Alan Rickman. The series caps off with Love Actually, a rom-com about cheating. Each week, the fun kicks off an hour before showtime, with special activities that include a Santa costume contest, a pre-movie debate, and live music. $9 advance/$12 at the door; $45 series pass. 7 p.m. activity; 8 p.m. showtime Thursdays. 4814 Chicago Ave., Minneapolis. Through December 29Jessica Armbruster

We Are Working All the Time

Weisman Art Museum

Polish-born, Minneapolis-based artist Piotr Szyhalski creates posters that look like propaganda. But instead of promoting patriotism, he challenges the status quo, as his pieces proclaim things like, “Seek Truth From Facts,” “Rise Up!,” and “I can’t Breathe. If It’s No Covid, It’s the Police.” Szyhalski has been exploring “extreme historical phenomena” – think wars, labor movements, and protests against bad world leaders – since the ‘90s. In 2020, Szyhalski was set to have a retrospective exhibition at WAM. That show, of course, had to be postponed when the pandemic hit – an extreme historical phenomenon! During that time of lockdown and chaos, he entered another creative era, posting a new hand-drawn poster every day for 225 days. The resulting project, “COVID 19: Labor Camp Report,” was a hit, not just locally but internationally, with many pieces going viral. You can see some of these efforts in “We Are Working All the Time,” an epic exhibition showcasing Szyhalski’s 40-plus years of work, which includes posters, plates, installation, media, and other curious items. 333 E. River Rd., Minneapolis. Through December 31—Jessica Armbruster

Gingerbread Wonderland

Norway House 

The biggest cookie village in town returns this winter to Norway House. Each year, 250 or so pieces come together, creating a sweet-smelling wonderland for all to explore. Creations range from cozy cabins in the snow to multi-story abodes topped with icing, to familiar Twin Cities structures, to incredibly complex recreations of historical landmarks. The neighborhood includes submissions from creative kids, artsy hobbyists, and professional bakers, making it a really cool variety of skill, technique, and imagination. Find tickets and more information at norwayhouse.org/gbw2022. $10; $5 members; free for kids under 12. Noon to 4:00pm Sun. and Tue.; 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wed.-Fri.; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sat. 913 E. Franklin Ave., Minneapolis. Through January 8—Jessica Armbruster

Paul Chan: Breathers

Walker Art Center

Can those inflatable tube guys used to drive people to sales be art? If it’s in the Walker Art Center then, yes, it can. But that would be oversimplifying the work of Paul Chen, a Hong Kong-born, Nebraska-raised, NYC-based writer, publisher, and artist. In the ‘90s and ‘00s, Chan garnered attention releasing videos, animations, fonts, and more, often for free on his website, nationalphilistine.com. These pieces explored pleasure, war, politics, and human interactions. But by 2009, he had burned out, tired of looking at a screen. Relatable. Five years later, after a brief, you know, “breather,” he found a new way to explore movement and meaning without a computer, instead using physics, fabrics, and fans to create shapes that move about in interesting ways (and, thankfully, won’t try to sell you a car).  You can see these kinetic sculptures at the Walker; the show will also include some video installations as well as pieces from his publishing company, Badlands Unlimited, which releases poetry, erotica, artists’ writings, and more. 725 Vineland Place, Minneapolis. Through July 16, 2023—Jessica Armbruster