Last time we checked in with Drew Barrymore, we were lightly ribbing the Hollywood starlet turned cutesy daytime talkshow host with a zest for life for a bizarre Juicy Lucy segment featuring potential asshole Bobby Flay. Is it a coincidence, then, that this latest Drew Local Angle also features ribs?
Earlier this week, the brother-sister duo behind The Herbivorous Butcher in northeast Minneapolis stopped by Drew’s studio to prepare their vegan five-spice rib tips. It doesn’t quite have the uncanny valley quality that made her spot with Flay so captivating, but goddamn if that optimistic weirdo hasn’t inspired us to pick up Racket’s “Observations on Drew Barrymore” series.
Unfortunately The Drew Barrymore Show team hasn’t put the HB segment on YouTube, so you’ll have to watch it in two parts here and here. Or, simply continue to our bombshell findings, which are as follows:
1. Aubry and Kale Walch are joining Drew to promote their new cookbook, which features 75+ completely vegan recipes. The book’ll be featured in Drew’s “Cookbook Club,” which seems like a little bit of a tongue twister for the energetic host who was brutally murdered in the iconic opening scene of the 1996 slasher Scream. Just tried to say it five times fast and got through four. How many times can you say it?
2. Drew’s gray-brown shirt, gray-brown apron combo deserves a highlight on the Sad Beige Lady’s TikTok. Hey, did you know the Sad Beige Lady was featured in the Wall Street Journal this week? Page 1! Here, I wanted to include the Andy Warhol quote about how everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, but in looking it up it turns out he probably never said it.
3. Aubry, one half of the Herby B brother-sister duo, says she’s been vegan since she was 14 in the ’90s. What did vegans even eat back then? Drew doesn’t ask; Aubry supplies “tofu.” The full answer, presumably, would be too depressing for this sunny daytime talk show.
4. 1:01: There’s Minneapolis mention No. 1 from Drew, who won a Screen Actors Guild Award and a Golden Globe Award for her role in Grey Gardens (2009). And we get a photo of the Herbivorous Butcher’s Northeast shop to boot.
5. A chyron flashing across the bottom of the screen informs viewers that “plant-based meat contains a major source of protein.” Gotta love protein.
6. “I love it, more acid,” Drew murmurs, as Kale adds rice wine vinegar and lemon juice to a steaming pan of protein. Avid readers of our Observations on Drew Barrymore segment will recall that she made a similarly strange acid-related comment (Observation No. 5) to Bobby Flay last year. What a lovable nut!
7. “I LOVE A WOK, WE NEED TO BRING THE WOK BACK,” Drew practically hollers upon hearing one will soon be involved in bringing this dish together. (J. Kenji López-Alt, whose latest cookbook, The Wok, just hit bookstore shelves this year, would like a word.) But the audience cheers! They love the wok!! They hunger for the wok!! Bring the wok back!!!
8. You know, I wouldn’t say Drew Barrymore has a lot in common with Donald Trump. But the way she just said, “We’re not—we’re hearing about soy, and how it needs to be had in moderation…” There was a distinctly Trumpian cadence there.
9. 2:55: Minneapolis mention No. 2. Great stuff, Kale.
10. Drew is still talking about the wok. “See how it has that handle on it? I do love an ability to go like this,” she crows, making a wok-tossing motion. This woman can really find joy anywhere.
11. A commercial break is coming up, after which, the star of the problematic-in-hindsight Adam Sandler vehicle 50 First Dates promises we’ll “get down to Chow Town.” Chow Town, as we all know, is a sister city to Flavortown.
12. Drew is telling the Walches she personally picked this recipe from the cookbook. If any other celeb said this we’d never believe ’em, but the beloved childhood actress who found fame with her 1982 role in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial? She wouldn’t lie to them, nor to us, the viewers at home.
13. I’ve just learned that Drew revealed to Instagram fans on Tuesday that she no longer has Covid. She spent the last few days “relaxing” and “taking it well,” per the Daily Mail. In her stead? 50 Cent was apparently among those who guest hosted the show.
14. Oh hey, would you look at that? Everyone in Drew’s audience is wearing a matching yellow face mask. I don’t watch a lot of daytime TV, but I gotta imagine that’s pretty unusual, right? Good for Drew! The COVID-19 pandemic is still killing between 2,000-3,000 Americans per week, and masking is one way to reduce the spread and protect yourself and other vulnerable members of your community!
15. Oooo baby, listen to that sauce sizzle as it’s spooned over the plant protein. The crowd applauds, and they are right to. Lookin’ good, Walches (and Drew).
16. Hm, been a while since we heard the name of our great city mentioned. Aubry? Anything to add? Shoehorn a quick “Spoonbridge & Cherry” mention in there, maybe? Talk about Prince?
17. On that note: Remember when Drew showered North Loop salon Urban Village SalonSpa with gifts? Remember when she plugged The Future—the south Minneapolis project space/artist market/spa/Aquarian lab/artist residency/library/workshop/event space—in her small biz gift guide? Is Drew Barrymore… an honorary local?
18. Drew gets to do the wok toss!!! What a treat. We can all agree: The wok truly is back.
19. I think the gray-brown getup… is growing on me? It’s got a pilgrim-chic vibe about it.
20. “Ouis is incwewiwle,” Drew mumbles around a mouthful of steaming-hot “rib,” which she herself removed from the wok mere seconds ago. Who among us, etc.
21. You know, we don’t talk enough about the fact that the Herbivorous Butcher brother is named Kale.
22. Here at Racket, we have a very original bit where we do a little wordplay on the names of celebrities and public figures we don’t like. Elon should Eloff; Doug Wardlow should Wardlower. That kind of thing. But I would never ask Drew to Barryless. If anything, I think she could stand to Barryevenmore.
23. Wow, no further Minneapolis name dropping, and the segment is coming to a close. Still, the Walches fared better here than Bobby Flay, who waited until SEVERAL MINUTES IN to mention the Juicy Lucy’s geographic origins during his segment (Observation No. 2). (We hate you Bobby Flay!!!)