On a Sunday in February, I had my friends over for a party. I greeted them with a bag of Pineda Tacos Plus burritos and a pie. But there was a catch.
In order to eat the Rainbow Pie ($40) I purchased from Hot Hands Pie & Biscuit earlier that day, my friends had to text me their thoughts about it. The Rainbow Pie consists of one single slice ($6.50 individually) from all their current selections, presented in a (somehow!) almost perfect circle. After taking a few bites of every slice myself (I used clean forks, I promise), I set it up for my friends to judge for themselves.
Loud voices erupted from a corner of my party as the first friends to taste test the pies feuded over which one was best. Everyone became a pie influencer, trying to bring people over to their side. We debated the level of sweetness and the merits of different crusts. A dessert hater said of one pie, “I actually like this.” High praise!
After much debate, I’ve settled on this definitive ranking of Hot Hands’ current pies in honor of Pi(e) Day. Now you know what to get for the office, for your friends—or, heck, just for yourself!
7. Blackberry Almond
Visually, this is the most impressive pie in the case. It’s tall. It has that perfect, classic crust, with thick filling and a strudel top. It’s this dense color of blackberries that catches the light beautifully. It’s reminiscent of North Shore summer days. But… it was HOTLY debated by my friends. One called it “gross,” while another said it was “hands down, the winner.” That fight in the corner? It was about this pie. No one seemed to share an opinion about it. Some thought it needed a bit more lemon; others thought it had too much; a few thought the lemon content was just right. As for me? I thought it was drop-dead gorgeous, and it reminded me of a blackberry crumble your friend might make in the dead of summer, but it fell flat on flavor.
6. Lemon Meringue
Lemon meringue pie is a classic flavor combination. At Hot Hands, they make the filling extra tart. When I took it out of the Rainbow Pie, the filling fell apart, dropping to the counter. It needed a little bit of a harder set to make it from pie to plate. The errors in execution didn’t end with a soft-set filling. The filling was a little sweet for me and the pie crust was tough to cut through because of the soft set of the pie. Every time a friend tried to cut a small piece, the filling spread out into the pie box, leaving a goopy mess. One friend, whose favorite pie is lemon meringue, said defensively, “It’s a perfectly good lemon meringue.” Sure, but there are stronger pies at Hot Hands, and why settle for perfectly good when there’s something better? For example…
5. Banana Cream
I have to admit, I’m a bit biased here. For a piece for my food newsletter beyond beurre blanc, I ate close to a dozen banana cream pies in the Twin Cities in the hunt for my favorites. Banana cream pies run the gamut in terms of flavor and texture—they can be full of fresh banana, the crust might be all butter or wafer based, and while it’s traditionally topped with whipped cream, some get a bit more creative than that. This one feels inspired by a classic southern banana pudding, with a vanilla wafer crust, banana-flavored filling and one twist: marscapone cream instead of a whipped cream top. As an Unofficial Banana Cream Pie Expert™, I wanted even more flavor and texture, but it’s worth noting that many of my friends loved it, sending in comments like, “I could eat this all day,” and “That was BANANAS!”
4. Blood Orange Meringue
This pie is like the grown-up sister of lemon meringue: a bit more sophisticated and complex, a little less tart. It has that same toasted top as the lemon version, but a better set filling. A graham cracker crust adds a little bit of flair. Head-to-head, this is my choice for a citrus pie at Hot Hands. One friend said, “This crust was my favorite,” though another lamented, “I’m just over blood orange,” which OK Chris, maybe you’re over blood orange, but the rest of us are not.
3. Hot Chocolate
This pie is exactly as advertised. It tastes like a cup of hot chocolate covered in marshmallows with a pretzel crust. If you love French silk pie, you’ll love this one. It’s what childhood dreams (or weekend brunches) are made of. I could’ve eaten this pie all by myself, but I did decide to save some for my friends who all gushed over it. One friend made eye contact with me while eating this pie, widened her eyes, and said, “INCREDIBLE.” Another, the dessert hater, said this pie might make a believer out of other dessert haters too.
2. Toasted Vanilla
The toasted vanilla is Hot Hands’ signature pie for a reason. This is one people go out of their way for. While other pies in the case might be taller or look more substantial, don’t let them fool you. This pie packs a punch. Friends said things like, “I’d CRUSH a whole piece,” or, “absolutely delish.” This is the only pie that had no notes from my group of choosy foodie friends. The mix of the vanilla-wafer crust and the mascarpone cream along with this uber creamy filling is the platonic ideal of vanilla. If you think vanilla means boring and basic, this is a pie that’ll prove you wrong.
1. Chicken Pot Pie
Twist! The real stunner at Hot Hands is the chicken pot pie ($13.99). Sweet pie may be what they're known for, but this mini pot pie is the reason I go in for brunch. You can find a lot of pot pies around the Twin Cities, but most of them aren’t full pies—they have a pie top crust but miss the bottom crust entirely. A traditional pot pie has a bottom crust, even with the word pot in the name. Hot Hands’ chicken pot pie is heavy on the chicken, light on the milk, and big on butter flavor. This is my order for breakfast, with a sunny-side-up egg on the side that I slide on top of the pie and burst open with a fork, letting the yolk leak into the crust.
Hot Hands Pie & Biscuit
Address: 272 Snelling Ave. S. #100, St. Paul
Hours: 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tuesday to Saturday; 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Sunday; closed Mondays
