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Cops From Infamous Bodycam Vids Land Disability
Remember when Minneapolis was embarrassed—yet again—on an international level by the conduct of its police officers? Ah yes, last week, when bodycam footage emerged of cops "hunting" George Floyd protesters with drive-by rubber bullets, beating them, and providing racist commentary on the ways they reacted. Two of the cops featured in those clips landed cush disability pensions via “duty disability retirements," reports Minnesota Reformer's Deena Winter, who's absolutely crushing the cop beat. "I’d love to scatter ’em but it’s time to fuckin’ put people in jail and just prove the mayor wrong about this white supremacist [inaudible]," now-former Lt. Johnny Mercil says in the bodycam video. "Although this group probably is predominantly white, because there’s not looting and fires." Your tax dollars are now subsidizing the lifestyles of Mercil and fellow ex-cop Christopher Cushenbery to the tune of $7,026 and $5,168 per month, respectively.
Sprinkle Your Leaves, I Guess?
The summer of tyrannical lawn mandates is over. As we're sure you recall, even-odd water sprinkling restrictions were placed on Minneapolis lawns in late July due to the historic drought. That drought persists, city officials acknowledged Thursday, though conditions have improved enough to restore one of the only real freedoms Americans have left: fussing over their small, sad patches of grass. The announcement comes just in time for raking season; drench those leaves, folks!
National Media to Minnesota: Your COVID Situation is Quite Bad
Cops aren't the only thing giving Minnesota negative headlines. On Wednesday, our state's grim COVID-19 situation caught the attention of the New York Times: "Minnesota hospitals are nearing capacity as a virus surge batters the state," the headline reads. Great! Cases, hospitalizations, and deaths are all soaring, the Times reports, and 96% of state I.C.U. beds are occupied. “With the amount of virus that’s out there and the amount of the population that is not protected by the vaccine, there’s unfortunately plenty of room for the virus to still do its harm,” Jan Malcolm, Minnesota's health commissioner, told reporters last week. Currently, 59% of the state population is fully vaccinated—three points better than the national average.
If You're Recording a Netflix Comedy Special in Minneapolis... You Might Just be Jim Gaffigan or Jeff Foxworthy
If you read that header in the correct, Foxworthian tone, we're officially friends. It's unclear if Jim Gaffigan and Jeff Foxworthy are friends, but this much is certain: Both heavyweight comics will be recording stand-up specials for Netflix this fall in Minneapolis, according to news brought to us from Bring Me the News. Gaffigan's Racket-endorsed run of "Fun Tour" shows starts tonight at the State Theatre. Foxworthy's "Good Old Days" tour will hit the State with back-to-back performances on October 30. Got an annoying laugh? You might just hear yourself on da 'Flix.