Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily 1 p.m.(ish) digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.
Own a Piece of Crap History
While the rest of us mourned the closing of the downtown Grumpy’s Bar in 2018, the always industrious Tony Zaccardi wiped away his tears and sprang into action, preserving about 20 of the joint’s barstools. The Palmer’s owner has no use for them at his own establishment (“they are old, so cracking and what have you,” as Zaccardi puts it on Facebook), but they have character, as your grandma would say. And if those barstools could talk! Well, that would be some terrifying Fantasia type shit, get out of here with that witchcraft. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that Tony Zaccardi has no use for 20 decrepit barstools of enduring cultural and historical worth, so he’s selling them off at $20 a pop. Swing by Palmer’s ASAP because it’s first come, first served. If they’re not already all gone.
Cops Keep Public Safe by Endangering Infant
Police in Brooklyn Center yesterday rammed into the side of a car with an infant inside—or, in their words, “utilized a vehicle box maneuver” to prevent the driver from getting away. The Hennepin County Sheriff's Office Violent Offender Task Force in Brooklyn Center apprehended 18-year-old Shevirio Kavirion Childs-Young, who reportedly didn’t return to jail after a three-hour furlough on January 3. Childs-Young was in jail on weapons charges and a charge of obstructing the legal process. Both he and the child were unharmed, police say. I’m no expert at deliberately crashing into another vehicle, but pinioning the driver’s side of a car with a big truck seems like kind of a dangerous maneuver even in infantless situations.
This One Weird Trick Stops People From Stealing Your Car
Coupla quick questions here. Should you leave your car running unattended in a city? Should you leave a living creature (child, dog, what-have-you) in that running and unattended car? If you answered “yes” to the first question… well, lol, enjoy the bus, dumbass. If you answered “yes” to number two, though, you’re not just hurting yourself with your carelessness. We know you didn’t answer “yes,” because you’re a smart Racket reader, and you’re not one of the seven people who reported their cars stolen to the St. Paul police between Sunday and Tuesday and admitted they’d left them running with the key in the ignition. (Two of these cars had dogs inside, and one of the poor pups is still missing.)
This prompted the police to remind everyone not to do that. Also, don’t leave your front door wide open when you go on vacation or keep your TV in your front yard. As someone who literally threw my car keys in the trash once without realizing it, I don’t want to space-cadet-shame anyone. We are all busy, distracted people teetering on the edge of utter psychic dissolution these days. But I will say that if I left my keys in my car and someone stole it, I wouldn't report it. I wouldn't tell anyone. I'd say I totaled it or sold it or something.
OK, This Is More Like It, DFL
Like many of you, we were dubious of Tim Walz’s stimulus “package.” Even from a crass political standpoint, $175-$350 seemed a little skimpy—my vote can be bought, but not that cheaply. So it’s nice to hear the guv propose $5.1 billion in school funding, expanding early learning programs, and a paid family leave program. Meanwhile, House DFL members are looking to heave a good dollop of the state's $7.7 billion surplus toward early childhood and K-12 education programs. Predictably, Republicans are insisting on tax cuts instead, decrying this proposed “spending spree” while reminding us that throwing money at the problem never fixes anything. Except where it comes to cops. You gotta pelt them with every spare dollar till we’ve got a 1:1 cop-to-citizen ratio.
