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School Newsletter Triggers Local Bootlickers

Plus another Omar "challenger," see ya Sibley, and St. Paul's basic income program chugs ahead in today's Flyover.

This Minneapolis child has just learned that he has nothing to lose but his chains and that Wednesday is Sloppy Joe day.
Ben White via Unsplash

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Are School Newsletters Radicalizing Your Tween???!?!?!?! (lol no)

Apparently Crime Watch Mpls has run out of crime to watch in Mpls, because they’ve taken to scrutinizing student newsletters for hints of leftist indoctrination and putting schoolchildren on blast. Last week, Crime Watch “broke” the “news” that the Rhino Report, the product of an community ed program at Alan Page Middle School, is basically the Pravda of the Minneapolis Public Schools. The offending article that tipped them off? “Protest Tips and Etiquette,” which informed students attending protests about their rights and shared ways to stay safe. (Maybe for balance, Crime Watch can publish a story in the Rhino Report called “How to Peek Through Your Blinds All Day and Post Blurry Pics on Facebook When a Black Person Walks Down the Street.”) But extra-scummy was screen grabbing the newsletter masthead, to be sure that CW’s readership of would-be vigilantes and trolls would see the names of student contributors. One person who took note of this information was Kendall Qualls, who’d like to be the Republican candidate for governor, who made a big deal that the newsletter went out “WITHOUT notifying parents.” We await word on Qualls’ response to the Report’s other big story: “The Worst Video Game Ever Made: ET for the Atari 2600.”

Former NBA Player to Save Minnesota from Globalism, Ilhan, Fauci

You know what they say: If you can’t beat ’em, say a lot of wild shit about your opponent and “globalism,” then watch the money roll right in. Republicans have even less of a shot at Ilhan Omar’s 5th District seat than Don Samuels does, so why shouldn’t Royce White— DeLaSalle grad turned Iowa State basketball star turned NBA player turned MMA fighter turned Steve Bannon pal—step into a high-profile “race” to churn up as much disinfo as he can? In announcing his candidacy, White stated “My problem with Ilhan isn’t that she’s not an American, or that she’s not from Minnesota…” (some artfully Bannonesque phrasing there), declared that America has been sold out to China by s h a d o w y  f o r c e s, and even shared a few Easter eggs for diehard conspiracy stans about how COVID is part of a lab-leak cover-up. (I personally had no idea what his “GAIN OF FUNCTION” T-shirt meant and I wish I still didn’t.) Wonder if his unpaid child support woes will torpedo this effort before we get to hear more about how White thinks Planned Parenthood is a greater threat to Black Americans than Donald Trump.

Who Gives a Fuck About Henry Sibley Anyway?

Here are some things we know about noted Minnesotan Henry Hastings Sibley. He was a fur trader and Union general. He was the territory’s first representative in Congress and the state’s first governor and a member of Congress. But—and there’s always a “but” with these guys, isn’t there?—he played a major role in the 1862 U.S.-Dakota War, including the public hanging of 38 Dakota men. Henry Sibley High in Mendota Heights already removed his name last year, and now, Axios reports, the Minneapolis Park & Recreation Board is looking to rename Sibley Park in Standish. To which we say: Great! In a survey, the board suggests geographic features (Elm Park, Bottom of the Hill Park), under-represented stories (a Dakota name, or Justice Park), and community members (Clyde Bellecourt, founder of the American Indian Movement) that could replace Sibley as the park’s namesake. Please join me in voting for “Bowl Park”—let’s let the pot-smoking youths have this one.

St. Paul’s Basic Income Program Moves Into Phase 2

Mayor Melvin Carter announced this morning during his 2022 State of Our City Address that St. Paul’s People’s Prosperity Guaranteed Income Pilot will be expanding. The program, which launched in November 2020, offered 150 low-income families $500 a month for 18 months. The money could be used for anything, anytime, whether it was unexpected home repairs one month or warmer winter coats the next. One participant reported using the funds to take a computer training class to secure a better paying job. “Our initial findings demonstrate that the majority of those payments were spent on immediate needs like rent, groceries, gas bills, and baby supplies,” Carter explained. Phase 2 of the program would offer aid to 300 families, including expecting parents, over a period of 24 months. Meanwhile, Minneapolis’s basic income program is launching this spring.