Look... as a whole, most everybody did a bad job. We just scanned all 2,123 crowd-sourced submissions to replace Minnesota's current Parks & Rec-ass flag, and let's just say the lowest-hanging fruits were not underrepresented—loons, stars, Lady's Slippers, boring minimalist geometry in blue/green hues.
But!
Through amateurishness, irony, weirdness, and, in some cases, actual wit or artistry, some spec flags rose to a goofy threshold we deemed notable enough for listicle coverage.
With apologies to the vexillologists out there, here are our faves:
Hey, if the mayor of Minneapolis wants to encourage psychedelic mushrooms, let's celebrate it.
The screengrab of the entire photo editing app really brings you into the artistic process. Plus: The stock imagery collage represents an upgrade over the current collar-tug scene of colonial genocide.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
Lots of entries featured predictable walleye. These oddball (saltwater?) fishes were a welcome reprieve.
A stirring statement against the Canadian goose and the feces it rains down on us. Interestingly, the artist choose to concentrate the geese around Middle River—our state's goose capital.
Possibly honoring our state's most famous cryptozoological resident, Pressie the Lake Superior sea monster.
More offensive than the current design? We'd like to imagine the child artist means well...
Really makes ya think!
Hey Illinois: We're the Land of Lincoln now. Deal with it.
An homage to the series finale of Mad Men? The Coke ad that inspired it? Jordan Peele's Us? In any case, nobody can dispute 1858 is the year of our statehood.
Their "I'm an idea guy" submission has people asking a lot of questions already answered by their "I'm an idea guy" submission.
More smiles and Stars of David, per capita, than any other state in the union? Far as we know!
Smacks of The Worker & Parasite Show, Eastern Europe's fictionalized answer to The Itchy & Scratchy Show.
Takes everything to like about the current design, and adds a beleaguered cartoon pug. Not a losing formula.
If we're going the "photograph of an actual dog" route, we should probably commemorate Duke, the late mayor/dog of Cormorant Village, Minnesota. But this appears to be a good boy, too.
OK, so, void of a shit-load of context, this entry could, um, raise flags. But if you know the history of Minnesota's persistent refusal to return a war trophy flag to our Confederate enemies in Virginia, there's a lot to like here.
We'd like to think this mutated loon is a signal flare to warn of the putrid state of our state's southern bodies of water.
A statement of racial equality? A representation of how fun it is to grab at blue stuff? Impossible for us to say, and that's the beauty of it.
Will the fish (Minnesota) make it all the way to the moon (Minnesota's full potential)? Depends on the shooting star (stick-to-itiveness?).
Love the inclusion of hockey score push notifications. No notes.
Unclear if she's doing something to the fish or has become one with it. Either way, we welcome our new blonde fish-hand overlord.
The gang's all here: a melting wolf, a random tree, and an Atari-style star. But it's the non-traditional shape and the placement of "Minnesota" that really takes this over the edge into art.
While noting that we'd never, ever wish harm upon the noble loon, this illustration—which seems to depict a loon in the crosshairs—really resonated after seeing dozens of entries arrive at the same novel loon idea.
Folks, it's simply how we say that word.
In Minnesota, tater tot hotdish casseroles you!
At least eight (!) identical entries transposed the controversial Native man on our current flag with some sort of dolphin-man hybrid.
Update/possible correction: It has been brought to our attention that this may well be the actual, unaltered current flag, and due to its poor, cluttered, racially insensitive design, we mistook the Native rider for a dolphin-man. Another reason to choose a new flag!
Now, we think what's happening here is that Bigfoot is carrying a surfboard, presumably along the shores of Lake Superior? And if that's the case: five stars, we've got a winner, folks.
Like looking through one of those "what your dog sees" TikTok filters. Or maybe it's more of a "sad beige baby" thing?
We love you, Snow Miser! (In all seriousness... which lake is this?)
Sir, that is the flag of Puerto Rico. (Essentially.)
