Kim Crockett: Liar? Idiot? Both?

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

GOP Candidate Kim Crockett Gets Schooled on the Job She’s Running For

Republican election truther Kim Crockett is currently running for Minnesota secretary of state. But, as the Minnesota Reformer thoroughly points out, she doesn’t appear to have any clue as to what the job entails. Aside from the giant red flag that a 2020 election conspiracy theorist is running for a gig that oversees statewide elections and the voter registration system, Crockett has confidently demonstrated how misinformed she is about the whole process in general. A few of her errors: The secretary of state mails ballots and counts votes (nope, that’s the counties and cities), Minnesota’s residency requirement to vote is 20 days in a precinct (nope, it’s just 20 days in the state), and absentee ballots must have postmarks (nope!). In the Reformer article, election systems consultant Max Hailperin also points out that Crockett is encouraging Republicans to volunteer to be election judges—something she herself has never done.

MOA Sues Chicken Guy! for Chickening Out

Lovers of chicken tenders, of assorted dips, of food courts, and of Guy Fieri—all were all excited to hear in 2019 that Chicken Guy!, Fieri’s titularly self-explanatory new chain, would be coming to the Mall of America. But it’s now 2022, and Guy’s chicken has yet to be tendered. And, as the Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal reports, it looks like it never may. The mall, which has been lawsuit-happy throughout the pandemic, has sued Chicken Guy! co-founder Robert Earl and his restaurant holding company, Earl Enterprises, for breach of contract. (Earl also owns Planet Hollywood, which used to exist inside MOA.) The mall wants $292,000 in back rent and $3 million more to cover future rent under the lease, which ends in 2032. Chicken Guy! et al. blame the pandemic for their tardiness. (Who amongst us etc.?) MOA has a solid track record with hunting down rents, the Biz Journal notes: Since October 2020, it has sued 15 tenants and clawed back $12.5 million in judgments.

Maybe Make Cops Work at Night?

Ever wondered why there are so many Minneapolis cops posted around construction sites during the day while the MPD emits a constant cry that it's understaffed? Mary McGuire and Nick Longworth of FOX 9 have too, and, after analyzing data from the First Precinct, discovered this: “Despite the fact that the majority of crime is happening during evening hours, Minneapolis police aren't shifting resources to cover the most demanding parts of the day.” Minneapolis cops are still evenly distributed between three shifts, FOX reports, with younger officers dominating the overnight shift. Acting chief Amelia Huffman responded with some weak hand-waving, essentially saying “all our shifts are important.” This still doesn’t answer the question of why so many cops are chilling in their cars outside construction projects all day.

PETA Agrees with Strib: Jucy Lucys Bad

Jesus, can't anyone even pander properly anymore? Last week, we chided the newish Star Tribune food critic for a) Having never tried a Jucy Lucy; b) Wanting to spit the damn burger out once he finally did. PETA, the obnoxious animal-rights group that engenders little sympathy even though they're, technically, on the right side of history, recently matched that tone-deafness directed at our state's top culinary export. In an effort to win Minnesota hearts and minds, the group debuted a billboard atop Ray J’s American Grill near northeast Minneapolis. It reads: "JUICY LUCYS TEAR FAMILIES APART." You see a calf figuratively torn from its apparent mother; you're urged to "go vegan."

The accompanying press release details the horrors of industrial meat production, including the separation of baby cow from mama cow and artificial insemination ("i.e., rape"). We're not professional PR consultants—just look at our bank balances! Still, it would seem that attacking a cherished local cultural product, one whose significance oozes into our identity like so much molten cheese, might not endear passersby to your cause. But please don't mistake us as enemies to veganism: We interviewed Glue Girl for crying out loud.