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DIY Dildo Kit Hurled Into Traffic from Downtown Balcony

Plus a voting overhaul, a bad cop recruitment video, and a giant snowman in today's Flyover.

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Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Local News Outlets Bury the Cock-Cloning Lede

“Charges: Minneapolis man threw dumbbells, other objects off 9th floor balcony,” reads the headline from Bring Me the News. “Charges: Man on 9th-floor balcony pitched dumbbells, other items at vehicles in downtown Minneapolis,” reads the much wordier one from the Star Tribune. What, you might asking yourself, are those other objects/items? Much weirder than workout equipment! The Strib makes no mention of the objectively most interesting item, but thankfully BMTN does: “a sex toy kit called ‘Clone Your Willy.'” (Not that we’d ever question the diligence of our boys in blue, but the police report may have misnamed the Clone-A-Willy, which appears to be an actual product.) Other items (allegedly) hucked last week by Michael B. Judy, who’s facing two counts of first-degree property damage, include a cordless drill, a coffee maker, a milk jug, furniture, and a wine bottle.

Several vehicles sustained damage, but thankfully nobody was injured as shit came raining down upon the 300 block of S. Washington Avenue. “I think it’s ridiculous,” Judy, whose criminal history is lengthy, tells the Strib. “I wasn’t even home at the time.” Security cam footage showing an object-tossing man with similar tats to Judy’s begs to differ. Judy, 29, was reportedly facing eviction before the ordeal, though he denies that as well. He posted $10,000 bail Friday, and is due in court February 6. The whereabouts of any cloned willies remain unknown.

You Wanted a Voting Overhaul? You Got One.

Last November’s elections featured a lot of loud talk from a few election deniers who promised to reform a voting process that they didn’t seem to understand. Now, local politicians are looking to actually reform voting laws in ways that aren’t paranoia-based, racially motivated, or just total bullshit. ​​Minnesota Secretary of State Steve Simon is leading a legislative push to make voting more accessible for folks at risk of disenfranchisement, including allowing Minnesotans with felony convictions, automatically registering people who qualify to vote, and pre-registering teens before they turn 18. Progress on that first one has been slow and arduous. “If you are a contributing member of society and you have a voice in what is happening, that is rehabilitating,” Sen. Bobby Joe Champion (DFL–Minneapolis) tells MinnPost in this long (and excellent) article. “You feel a part of it and not ostracized and perpetually punished because you made a mistake.”

Also on the table? Steeper consequences for people who harass election judges. “They serve on the front lines of democracy and increasingly they face threats and intimidation just for doing their work,” Simon said at a Monday meeting, recounting instances of workers being confronted at the polls, accosted in parking lots, and threatened on the phone.

Brooklyn Center Pulls “Militarized,” “Racist” Police Recruitment Vid

After vociferous community pushback, Brooklyn Center has removed a police recruitment video from its website. Last week, an array of individuals and orgs began (accurately) calling out the spot as “militarized” and “racist.” The video features all white, all male police officers (in a predominantly non-white community). The scene is dark and the soundtrack is moody. One cop lovingly eyes a huge semi-automatic rifle before loading it into his squad car. After a car chase, the cops are seen handcuffing a driver and recovering a handgun. 

Not a good look for the Brooklyn Center Police Department, which has been struggling to improve its reputation since police officer Kimberly Potter shot and killed 20-year-old Daunte Wright during a 2021 traffic stop. ”The video in question does not represent the full breadth of community policing by the City of Brooklyn Center officers, nor our community engagement efforts,” said Brooklyn Center Police Chief Kellace McDaniel.

Towering Snowman Delights Many

Considering the unrelenting onslaught of grim news to which we’re all subjected—conspiratorial election deniers, militarized cops, violently tossed penis substitutes—let’s end today’s Flyover on a note that restores faith in humanity. “I was returning home from completing some errands, taking my regular turn at 46th Street and 1st Ave., and was delighted to see this gigantic snow sculpture in my neighborhood,” writes a south Minneapolis Nextdoor user. “It is HUGE—it must be at least 10 feet tall. Thank you, neighbor—you brought a smile to my face.” Racket deployed its chief snowperson correspondent, Jay Boller, to the scene, and he confirmed that the snowman in question is probably closer to 12 feet. We love you, giant snowman!

Credit: Jay Boller
Looking large!