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Wizard’s ‘Wand’ No Match for Hotel Clerk’s Gun

Plus A World of Fish closes, Chisholm cops shoot man, and Haim loves MN in today's Flyover.

We're guessing the guy the police picked up looked like this.
Unsplash

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Lol Stop Calling This Dude’s Pointy Stick a Wand

A Woodbury man attached a piece of sharp metal to the end of a 16-inch stick and brandished it threateningly at a hotel employee in Bloomington this weekend. The hotel worker then produced a gun, and the attacker retreated. As crime blotter stories go, so far, unremarkable. But the incident has been widely reported for good reason: The attacker called himself a wizard and called his weapon a “wizard wand.” Weirdly, some outlets have followed suit: With nary a scare quote, Fox 9 reports that the attacker was “accused of pointing a wizard wand at a hotel employee.” Not to be pedantic, but being as wizardry is make believe, there’s probably no law against pointing a wizard wand at someone in Minnesota—unless it’s actually a homemade knife on the end of a stick. It’s like if I said “I am a spaceman, don’t make me zap you with my laser” while pointing a gun at someone, and people reporting that I was “accused of having a laser.”

It’s the End of the World…

…of Fish, that is. For 48 years, A World of Fish in Richfield has supplied the fish-lovers of the south metro with all their fish-related needs. But even the hardiest among us must one day drain the proverbial aquarium, let our plastic sea-divers blow their last bubbles, and be flushed into eternity down the great toilet of mortality. Yes, A World of Fish is closing for good, co-owner Ted Levin has announced, but we should all be as enthusiastic when we end a venture as the store owners are in their farewell: “Our hope is that the future of the aquarium hobby will continue to grow and thrive and the joy of fishkeeping will never cease!” Through April, the store is offering 20% off all fish—that means they lop off their tails, I think. Haha, just a little fish-mutilation joke for a rainy Wednesday afternoon. All in good fun, fishophiles. Whatever’s left will be auctioned off in May.

Police Shoot, Kill Man in Chisholm

This is breaking news, so the details are sparse, but a man in the Iron Range city of Chisholm died from a gunshot wound during a police encounter this morning. “Contact was made with the suspect, and an officer involved shooting occurred,” says a statement from the St. Louis County’s Sheriff’s Office. Police have not released the name of the victim, but they did state that the man was “wanted in connection with a recent felony level crime in Morrison County.” The incident took place around 7:20 a.m. in the 200 block of S. Central Avenue. Police and medics tried to revive the man, but he was declared dead at the scene. There has been no further statements on how many police were involved or whether they were wearing body cams. The Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension is heading to the scene to investigate.

Dear Danielle Haim: Do You Want Your Racket T-Shirt in White or Black?

Danielle Haim loves Sweet Martha’s Cookies. Or she wants us to think she does. Or she just likes the design for Sweet Martha’s Cookies merch. Which of these statements is true? Impossible to say and, ultimately, probably not all that important. I’m just trying to find a way to say something about this Bring Me the News story about the Haim guitarist wearing a Sweet Martha’s sweatshirt besides the obvious. You know what other Minnesota institution has great merch, Danielle? Haim will be at the Armory in June, by the way.