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Which Movie Are You More Likely to Avoid: ‘Blonde’ or ‘Don’t Worry Darling’?

Listings for pretty much all the movies you can see in the Twin Cities this week.

Netflix/New Line Cinema

I haven’t seen either myself, but both seem unpleasant, and not in a cool, European, aesthetic way either. Maybe I’ll go see if I remember anything that happened in Avatar?

Special Screenings This Week

Thursday, September 22

It (2017)
Grandview 
Clowns, man. $12. 9:15 p.m. Also Saturday 11:59. More info here.

Spaceballs (1987)
Parkway Theater
Star Wars gets the Mel Brooks treatment. With pre-show costume contest. $9-$12. Costumes 7:30 p.m. Screening 8 p.m. More info here.

Friday, September 23

Hotel Transylvania (2012)
Emagine Willow Creek
Spooky season is indeed upon us. $3. 3 p.m. All week. More info here.

Cinderella (1950)
Trylon
In the original, the stepsisters chopped up their feet to fit into the slipper. That woulda been cool. $8. Friday-Saturday 7 & 8:45 p.m. Sunday 1:15, 3, 4:45 p.m. More info here

Saturday, September 24

Castle in the Sky (1991)
Alamo Drafthouse
A fun, sweet Miyazaki adventure about a quest for a glowing pendant. $10. 11:55 a.m. Also Monday 6:15 p.m. More info here.

Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Parkway Theater
Anyone else out there puke on the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney World as a kid? $5-$10. 1 p.m. More info here.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Parkway Theater
Will you people keep it down? I’m trying to watch the movie! $10. Midnight. More info here.

Sunday, September 25

The Outsiders: The Complete Novel (1983)
Alamo Drafthouse
Every cute boy of the Reagan era is ready to rumble. $10. 6:15 p.m. More info here.

Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
Another Miyazaki castle movie. This one moves! Only in Japan! $13.44. 3 p.m. Also Monday-Wednesday 7 p.m. More info here.

Poltergeist (1982)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16
Yes, those are real human skeletons. $13.44. 4 & 7 p.m. Also Monday-Tuesday 7 p.m. More info here.  

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Extended (2002)
Emagine Willow Creek
This thing is over four hours long! $10.75. 12 & 6:30 p.m. Also Wednesday. More info here.

The Fire Brigade (1926)
The Heights
An Irish fireman falls in love with a slumlord’s daughter in this silent classic. Musical accompaniment by the great Katie Condon. $20. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Girls of the Night (1961)
Trylon
OK, I’ll hush about how much I’ve enjoyed this Kinuyo Tanaka retrospective—next week, because this is the last film in the series. $8. 6:30 p.m. Monday-Tuesday 7 & 9 p.m. More info here.

Monday, September 26

The Mutilator (1984)
Emagine Willow Creek
Wonder why they call him that. $6. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Ed Wood (1994)
The Heights
Tim Burton’s light-hearted celebration of the charmingly inept filmmaker. $12. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Tuesday, September 27

Rumble Fish (1983)
Alamo Drafthouse
Francis Ford Coppola’s second S.E. Hinton adaptation is grittier than The Outsiders, but still has a lot of cute boys. $10. 6:15 p.m. More info here.

Wednesday, September 28

Memory Box (2021)
Walker Art Center
In the opening film of Mizna’s 16th Twin Cities Arab Film Festival, a woman learns about her mother’s past in ’80s Beirut through a mysterious box containing notebooks, tapes, and videos. $12 ($10 members). 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Opening This Week

Avatar (2009)
If I remember right, the parts where they just explore Pandora are more fun than the plotty stuff, but it’s been… a while. 

Blonde
Yeah man, I don’t know about this. 

Catherine Called Birdy
A Lena Dunham adaptation of a YA novel about a medieval teen, eh?

Don’t Worry Darling
Sure looks like a waste of very attractive people to me.

On the Come Up
A teen rapper wants to be one of the greats. 

The Railway Children Return
The story of evacuated British kids during WWII, based on a very old children’s book, apparently.

Ongoing in Local Theaters

Barbarian (read our review here)

Brahmāstra: Part One – Shiva

DC League of Super-Pets

Don’t Worry Darling

Elvis (read our review here)

God’s Country

In the Heights

The Invitation

Marcel the Shell With Shoes On

Moonage Daydream

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (read our review here)

Nope (read our review here)

Pan’s Labyrinth

Pearl

See How They Run

Selena

The Silent Twins

Three Thousand Years of Longing

Top Gun: Maverick (read our review here)

Where the Crawdads Sing (read our review here)

The Woman King