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Commish Alexander: Sorry for Shitposting

Plus Emmer craves socialist bux, the dreaded "pandemic of work ethic," and the creek disappears in today's Flyover.

Frey and Alexanders, possibly dreaming up ways to post their contempt for concerned residents.
Facebook, Mayor Jacob Frey

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Somebody Should Police Cedric Alexander’s Tweets

Some helpful young City Hall staffer could do Cedric Alexander (and the rest of the city) a solid by changing his Twitter password. Last night Minneapolis’s new public safety commissioner lashed out repeatedly (and often only marginally coherently) at local Twitter users who questioned or challenged him. In response to a simple query from ISAIAH’s Amity Foster about the rationale for scattering empty cop cars downtown, Alexander made several weird assumptions and tweeted “Enough of the two faced talking from both sides of your mouth already!”

Alexander went on to block Foster, and other Twitter users stepped forward to say he’d blocked them previously as well. (Hilariously, old embarrassing tweets of Alexander’s were exhumed last night, including this one where he begs President Barack Obama for a follow.) Today, Alexander issued a boilerplate apology, saying “I regret the tone of my responses, and I’m committed to respectful, constructive engagement with the communities we serve.” This might have seemed more sincere if Alexander hadn’t been called out for rash tweeting in other situations prior to his hiring by Minneapolis. Seems like something his boss shoulda brought up at some point during the on-boarding process. Oh, also yesterday, the MPD evicted the residents of three homeless camps. Seemed worth mentioning here.

Moochin’ Emmer’s “Socialist Wish List”

Last year Rep. Tom “Crypto King” Emmer authored a dopey statement right after the passage of the dopily named Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. Having misread President Biden’s entire career of tepid, punitive centrism, Emmer called the law “President Biden’s multi-trillion dollar socialist wish list.” Right. Fast-forward to this past June, and the GOP lawmaker representing Minnesota’s fightin’ 6th District authored a moochin’ letter to Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg asking for some of those sweet, sweet socialist bucks. A multimillion-dollar highway grant would help Minnesotans—hey, what a concept!—he explained, adding, with cynicism on maximum overdrive, “this grant also strives to serve as a social justice measure.” (Emmer scrambled to codify bootlicking into law months after George Floyd was murdered by police.) CNN compiled over a dozen similar instances of GOP hypocrisy, most of which came from politicians who, with cynicism on maximum overdrive, are seeking reelection. Should federal bucks flow to the Highway 65 improvement project, Emmer’s constituents can honk their horns in Marxist approval while driving smoothly along it.

“Pandemic of Work Ethic” Forces St. Cloud Bar to Adjust Hours

Like many restaurants in the Covid era, the Blue Line Bar & Grill in St. Cloud has struggled to keep regular hours. This week, it was forced to close its south location until further notice. The reason? The pandemic. But not the pandemic you’re probably thinking of. “It is with extreme disappointment and regret that I am writing to inform you that the current pandemic of work ethic, personal responsibility, and professionalism continues,” write owners Scott and Esther Widor via the business’s Facebook page. In the wake of COVID-19, many longtime service industry employees have pivoted to careers in fields that offer things like consistent pay and health benefits. Good for them, right?

The mass exodus has brought on a so-called “workers’ shortage,” however, which has led to many a business owner theorizing on what’s going on, be it mask mandates (hey Wild Greg’s), crime-wave panic (OK, Pourhouse), or the work ethic of the general populace. (Curiously, very few biz owners have considered whether the so-called worker shortage is actually a pay shortage.) Meanwhile, Minnesota’s unemployment rates have hit all-time lows this year, which seems to suggest that professionals have put their responsibility and work ethic elsewhere.

Creek’s Gone. Falls? Also Gone.

Did you know the Twin Cities just endured the driest September ever recorded, according to the National Weather Service? We received just 0.24 inches of rainfall last month, following just over six inches in June, July, and August. All told, it has been the fourth-driest metro summer since the 1800s, back when records of such things began. Those seeking dusty, eerie proof needn’t look further than Minnehaha Creek. Well, Minnehaha Creek’s bed—the goddamn water is gone! Ditto, obviously, for Minnehaha Falls, arguably the creek’s favorite spot to tumble majestically in a downward fashion (in past years, at least). In order to bum you out ahead of the weekend, here’s a scorched-earth photo collection of our drought from the Minneapolis Parks & Rec: