Enormous Dog Sighted Near MN Concentration Camp

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily digest of important, overlooked, and/or interesting Minnesota news stories.

We'll Get to the Dog. But First, the Atrocities.

First things first: Abolish ICE and prosecute its agents and leaders. 

And now, on to the news. The Strib’s Christopher Magan reports that the first detainees arrived at the new Appleton Detention Center on Monday. 

A spokesperson for ICE, a criminal organization that should have never been created, said the detention center will “strengthen America’s ability to enforce its immigration laws and carry out the American people’s mandate for mass deportations.” A spokesperson for Racket (me) responds: “Get a real job, asshole.”

You may recall that ICE recently bought the facility for $500 million from CoreCivic, a private prison company, to use a phrase that should not exist outside of dystopian fiction. This was a ridiculous price, as CoreCivic had offered it for sale to the Minnesota DOC for $75 million last year. The company is also making $15 million a year operating a facility where, if the arc of the moral universe bends the way it should, there will one day be historical plaques memorializing the corporation’s crimes against humanity.  

Progressive groups and Appleton residents have planned a protest, vigil, and news conference for Saturday. 

A grim story. But ex-City Pages reporter/friend of Racket Mike Mosedale contacted us to make sure we didn’t miss one of the photos illustrating the Strib piece. It shows a woman walking an incredibly fat dog in downtown Appleton. Really, you gotta see this dog (gift link). Scroll down to the last photo. It’s fucking huge.

In conclusion: Abolish ICE and prosecute its agents and leaders. 

How They Did It, Pt. 1,947,045

Yes, it’s more than a week after the midterm elections, and we’ve been hip-deep in postmortems both insightful and ludicrous all that time since. But please allow me to direct you to two more stories of interest and then we’ll move on. Maybe. 

At MinnPost, Matthew Blake and Brian Arola look at the DFL’s well-funded ground game. DFL legislative caucuses raised $16 million to the GOP’s $6 million, and spent that money on getting out the vote, whereas the Republicans invested in racist ads that everyone hated. The reporters speak to Rep. Brad Tabke (DFL-Shakopee), who acted as an ICE monitor during the occupation and went from winning by 14 votes in 2024 to winning by 14 points this year. 

And it was just a toxic year for Republicans, as typified by this quote from state Rep. Danny Nadeau (R-Rogers), summing up his door-knocking experience during the campaign: “Time and again I heard, ‘Danny, I really like the way you are but I will not vote for a Republican until the current administration is over.’”

For MPR News, Winter Keefer talks to several winning candidates who were motivated to run by Operation Metro Surge. That includes the incoming mayor of Columbia Heights, four new council members in Fridley, a mayoral challenger who lost a tie-breaking draw in Spring Lake Park, and St. Paul City Council President Rebecca Noecker, who narrowly won the Ramsey County Commission District 5 slot. Quite simply, people are fired up.  

Small Business Owner Has a Point

As you’re probably aware, small business owners can be giant crybabies, ready to vent questionably supported grievances to the press whenever they suspect that Big Government is stepping on their toes. ("But Keith, you're a small business owner." Hush now.)  

But the guy who owns Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store in Jordan has a point. Robert Wagner (no, not that one, or that one either) has been charged with selling liquor-filled candy to a minor. The store’s sign now reads "Minnesota’s Most Wanted Candy Store." Wagner says he thought the sales were legal, and that he wishes the state had just advised him otherwise rather than arranging for the sale so they could bust him. 

He’s got a point! Yes, I can imagine teens gobbling a box of chocolates to get a mild buzz. But you know what? Kids are dumb as hell. I had a friend in middle school who tried to smoke a Fruit Roll-Up. And who hasn’t done a shot of vanilla extract in a pinch? (Just me?) 

"If I thought that I was going to be breaking the law, I wouldn't put it on a shelf for 650,000 customers to walk by and view," Wagner tells Fox 9. "If I'm going to sell fentanyl, I'm not going to put it on the front porch with a sign that says fentanyl. I'm gonna put it in the basement."

Well, now we know where all the fentanyl-laced candy is. Just kidding—please don’t sue us, Mr. Wagner. 

Feds Pressured Omar Bodyguard to Incriminate Her

DOJ thugs are coming hard for U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar (DFL-MN). The lawyer for Abdullahi Mohamed, a former Omar bodyguard, has revealed to the New York Times (gift link) that agents offered to drop a felony charge if Mohamed offered incriminating statements against the legislator.

The charge against Mohamed arose from statements he allegedly made during a green card interview. According to his attorney, Bruce Rivers, “the overarching theme was ‘give us everything and anything’” regarding Omar. 

The DOJ has been pursuing a vibes-based criminal immigration case against Omar. Rivers says that the agents also told him the investigation was “100% directed” by the White House, which we’ve known all along. Is the president supposed to tell the DOJ who to investigate? Friend, he is most certainly not. 

We really need to get to work on that Gundam.