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Charges: Cool-Ass Hothead Biker Hit 144 MPH ‘Because It Was Hot,’ Blames Cop

Plus bus lanes are coming to Hennepin Avenue, more sad news for a legendary Pillowman, and additional beaver fever in today's Flyover.

The man hates heat, fuzz!
Olmsted County Jail

Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Area Motorcyclist Seems Badass

Noah A. Doherty can’t stand two things: oppressive heat and meddling cops. On Tuesday, the 22-year-old Pine Island man reached speeds of 140+ mph in a 65 mph zone while absolutely hauling ass outside Rochester, according to court documents. His license? Revoked. (He had previous speeding issues, among others). His helmet? Non-existent. (Motherfucker was rocking a paintball mask). His tunes? Cranked. (Doherty was “listening to headphones,” the charges state.) An officer watched Doherty’s 2007 Suzuki GSX-R1000 scream past but “out of a concern for public safety” didn’t pursue… or so claimed the cop who, come on, had to be 50/50 intimidated and impressed. Later, near Rochester International Airport, the deputy nabbed and threatened to tase an uncooperative Doherty, the Star Tribune reports. The angsty biker “claimed that he was going fast because it was hot,” according to charges, and that “the entire incident was the deputy’s fault.” Absolute king shit. Doherty was booked into jail and released that same 95-degree day. You know our man is pulling up to court on July 13 atop that uninsured/unlicensed Suzuki. 

24-Hour Bus Lanes Win on Hennepin

In less badass but still exciting transportation news: The Minneapolis City Council today approved a plan for Hennepin Avenue that includes all-day, every-day, transit-designated vehicle lanes. “We are thrilled,” Hennepin For People spokesperson Katie Jones told the Star Tribune. “This city is ready for this.” The combination of those 24-hour bus lanes, protected bike lanes, wider sidewalks, and a center median mean Hennepin will drop down to just one car-travel lane in each direction from Lake Street and just north of Franklin Avenue. The plan now hits Jacob Frey’s desk; the Minneapolis mayor has until Wednesday to sign or veto it. Assuming he OKs the design, two years of construction would begin in 2024.

Walmart Cancels Local Pillowman

Real-time trainwreck, Trump superfan, and election truther Mike Lindell is struggling to get stores to sell his pillows these days. So far, his MyPillow brand has been dropped by Kohl’s, QVC, Amazon, Sam’s Club, and Bed Bath & Beyond. Now Walmart, a soulless company that basically has no morals, has ceased business with Lindell. “He had this smirk on his face,” Lindell recounted on Steve Bannon’s podcast, “and I said, ‘Goodbye, you’re going to be all over the news tomorrow!’ and I slammed the computer.” Like any normal CEO does, Lindell took to Facebook live to shout at Walmart. “Shame on you Walmart, you’re disgusting!” he ranted. “You guys are canceling us! Just like the other box stores. Shame on you, Walmart! You’re disgusting!” Well, at least this frees up some time for Pillow Mike to work on his bullshit passion project: continuing to waste money on the 2020 election. In April, he told Right Side Broadcasting Network that he’d spent $35 million pushing (very false) election claims. Up next: Voting machine company Dominion is suing Lindell for $1.3 billion, while Lindell is one-upping them with a $1.6 billion countersuit.

BEAVER FEVER GRIPS APPLE VALLEY

Remember when beaver fever gripped St. Paul? Well, today’s news serves as the spiritual successor to that screaming Racket headline, in that it… involves beavers? Specifically, the six Minnesota Zoo baby beaver kits that were born last week to Randy and Gina, who are also beavers. We’d embed the babies’ cute video debut directly, but apparently our website lost that functionality. Just click here; we’ll bother our developer.