Square cut, party cut, bar style—whatever you call it, the Midwest’s humble pizza-slicing style has inspired a lot of opinions over the last few years. It’s been attacked and defended and put up against its triangular rival; it’s been derided by coastal elites and co-opted by local pizza chain marketing people.
I’m not interested in all that.
Though we here at Racket aren’t shy about stirring up pizza-related controversy, our official stance is that square-cut pizzas are good and nice. They’re everywhere; they’re easy to share; they turn pizza into a little snack.
Our question today is not existential, as square-cut pizzas are both inevitable and delicious, but practical: Which slice on a party-cut pie is the best one?
The thing about the traditional cracker-crust square cut is that whether you’re at home or at the bar, whether it’s a Heggies or a Lotzza Motzza or a pie you picked up from Carbone’s, when that heavenly, hot-as-hell disc arrives, you’ve got a decision to make. No two pieces are quite alike, but we’ve identified three main styles to pick from: teeny-tiny corner (1), center crust (2), and true-square middle (3).
Me personally? I’m reaching for that tiny corner triangle every time. It’s always the crispiest bit, and that bite-sized cronch is just so satisfying. What it lacks in size, it makes up for in being The Perfect Bite. I’ll take any piece with crust on it after that—but those gooey middle guys, with no structural fortitude and too much greasy cheese? Those can go right to hell, IMO.
Other people like that cheesy middle, of course… that’s what makes this cut of pizza work! There’s something for everyone. We’re unique individuals, and the party-cut pie celebrates our differences, or something. Maybe it’s just a pizza.
In any case, I’ve got a hunch about what most people—beautiful in their original traits and preferences though they may be—prefer in their bar-cut pies. I want to know who you’ve got: crunchy corner? Gooey center? General crust?
Please vote in our very important poll here, and help us gather some data in this crucial pizza research.