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Movies

Lotsa Gremlins, Elves, and Murderous Santas in Movie Theaters Right Now

Pretty much every movie you can see in the area this week.

Choose your fighter.
Universal Pictures/Warner Bros.

Hey, did you catch Glass Onion over the long weekend? No? Too bad—Netflix released the anticipated Knives Out sequel to theaters for a single week, disregarding audience enthusiasm (every screening at Southdale on Friday was sold out), with plans to begin streaming the film on December 23. I am no entertainment biz genius, but that seems pretty dumb!

Here are some movies you can see instead.

Special Screenings This Week

Thursday, December 1

Neil Young: Harvest Time (2022)
Alamo Drafthouse/Emagine Willow Creek
A documentary look at the creation of Neil Young’s most overrated ’70s album. Also Sunday at Alamo. Times and prices for Alamo here. Times and prices for Emagine here.

Claudine (1974)
Capri Theater
Diahann Carroll is a single mother who falls for the charming James Earl Jones. But is he the right man for her? $5. Free for North Side residents. 7 p.m. More info here.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Grandview 1 & 2
Tom Cruise being confused and humiliated and haunted by cuck fantasies for almost three hours—what more could you ask this holiday season? $12. 9:15 p.m. Also Saturday 11:59 p.m. More info here.

Gremlins (1984)
Parkway Theater
You had one job, Billy! Pre-movie music by the Orange Goodness. $9/$12. Music at 7 p.m. Movie at 8 p.m. More info here.

Friday, December 2

The Quintessential Quintuplets Movie (2022)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16
One of them anime movies I don’t know anything about. $16.13. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Scream It Off Screen
Parkway Theater
Vote for your favorite local holiday-themed short films by screaming. You will not believe how fun this is. $10/$12. 8 p.m. More info here.

Battle for Pandora (2022)
Trylon
Haha. you can’t copyright the name of a planet, James Cameron. $8. 5 p.m. Friday-Saturday, Monday-Wednesday. Also Sunday 1 p.m. More info here.

The Philadelphia Story (1940)
Trylon
Unlike most of the Philadelphia stories I know, this does not involve sports fans pissing in the streets. $8. 7 p.m. Also 9 p.m. Saturday and 3 p.m. Sunday. More info here.

Father of the Bride (1950)
Trylon
If anyone knew how to get married, it was Liz Taylor. $8. 9:15 p.m. Also Saturday 7 p.m. & Sunday 5:15 p.m. More info here.

Saturday, December 3

The Wind Rises (2013)
Alamo Drafthouse
Miyazaki’s last film is the autobiography of a Japanese aviation here. $10. 12:05 p.m. Also Monday 6:25 p.m. More info here.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
Alamo Drafthouse
Finnish kids discover the tomb of an evil Santa. $10. 6:25 p.m. More info here.

The Magic Flute
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
The Met’s revival of Julie Taymor’s staging. $26.84. 12:55 p.m. More info here.

Love Actually (2003)
Emagine Willow Creek
Remember back when everyone was publishing Love Actually thinkpieces every Christmas? At least that’s over with. $10.75. 7:10 p.m. More info here.

Midnight Mayhem: Black Christmas (1974)+ Dial Code Santa Claus (1989)
The Main
The Main’s midnight movie series gets in the holiday spirit with a classic Xmas slasher and a French Santa home invasion flick. $10. 10 p.m. More info here.

Home Alone (1990)
Parkway Theater
If you like this movie, you’re a cop. $5-$10. 1 p.m. More info here.

Sunday, December 4

The Holiday (2006)
Alamo Drafthouse
Can Cameron Diaz and Jude Law find love? Probably! They’re both hot. $10. 12 p.m. More info here.

The Dark Crystal (1982)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Emagine Willow Creek
Like muppets, but creepy! $16.13. 3 & 7 p.m. Also Wednesday. More info here.

Elf (2003)
Emagine Willow Creek
Hide your cats! Everyone’s favorite visitor from Melmac is back and—oh, sorry, it’s Elf. Through Wednesday. $7. 4:30 p.m. More info here.

Three Colors: Blue (1993)
Trylon
The first installment of Krzysztof Kieślowski’s celebrated trilogy. White and Red to come in the following weeks. Collect ’em all! $8. 7:15 p.m. Also Monday-Tuesday 7 & 9 p.m. More info here.

Monday, December 5

Johnny Cash: Redemption of an American Icon (2022)
AMC Rosedale 14/AMC Southdale 16/Showplace ICON
A look at the Jesus-y side of the Man in Black. $10. 7 p.m. Through Wednesday. More info here.

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)
Emagine Willow Creek
Someone is killing all the Santas! $6. 7:30 p.m. More info here.

Tuesday, December 6

Lady Snowblood (1973)
Alamo Drafthouse
A partial inspiration for Kill Bill, but more than that too. $6. 6:30 p.m. More info here.

Wednesday, December 7

Gremlins (1984)
Alamo Drafthouse
Sorry, you only get one Gremlins joke a week. Union rules. $15. 6:30 p.m. More info here.

Tape Freaks December
Trylon
What surprises have those freaks in store for us this time? Maybe something seasonal. $5. 7 p.m. More info here.

Opening This Week

An Action Hero
A Bollywood star goes into hiding.

A Couple
Frederick Wiseman directs a non-documentary for once—and it’s barely over an hour!

The Eternal Daughter
Joanna Hogg hive, let’s fucking goooooo!

I Heard the Bells
How Longfellow (who never visited Minneapolis, FYI, not even once) wrote the titular Xmas carol.

The Inspection
A young gay Black man joins the Marines.

Violent Night
Santa protects the property rights of the wealthy against some hard-working criminals.

Ongoing in Local Theaters

Aftersun (read our review here)

The Banshees of Inisherin (read our review here)

Black Adam

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Bones and All

Devotion

Drishyam 2

The Fabelmans (read our review here)

Lyle, Lyle Crocodile

The Menu

Pinocchio 

She Said (read our review here)

Spirited

Strange World

Ticket to Paradise

Till

The Woman King