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Welcome back to The Flyover, your daily midday digest of what local media outlets and Twitter-ers are gabbing about.

Who Will Fill the Hagedorn-Shaped Hole in Our Congressional Delegation?

The race to fill the seat vacated by Rep. Jim Hagedorn in the 1st Congressional District is shaping up to be as madcap as a Cannonball Run sequel. Or, as Carleton College political science professor Steven Schier described it to MPR News, “This is the electoral equivalent of a two-headed calf at the county fair.” Here’s the trick: You’ve got to win a special election on the same day as a primary and then win a regular election in a newly redrawn district. (OK, not quite as exciting as mutant farm animals or Dom DeLuise flying a biplane but we’re all just trying to get a few clicks here, pal.) For added entertainment value, Jen “Bruiser” Carnahan is stepping into the already crowded ring. “It was my husband’s wish for me to carry his legacy forward,” she told MPR dubiously but non-falsifiably. That brings the tally to eight Republicans, six Democrats, and one (these fuckin’ guys) Legal Marijuana Now Party candidate have filed. Think you can win? You have until 5 p.m. tomorrow to file.  

Courts Counting Cops

Remember when congressional hopeful Don Samuels (among others) sued the city for not employing as many police officers as the City Charter of Minneapolis seemed to require—and won? Well, a Minnesota Court of Appeals panel has reversed that ruling, stating that while the charter does require city council to provide a minimum level of funding, the mayor has “discretion” over how many cops are employed? “Enough of this legal mumbo jumbo!” I hear you shouting. (I don’t know why you’re an irate middle-aged man with a cigar in a movie from the 1940s. Just play along, all right?) “What does this mean in plain language?” Well, let’s just say, hypothetically, that a pandemic gouged the city’s budget, leading to the cancellation of a full police academy class. And let’s further suppose that a huge uprising in the streets led to an unprecedented loss of officers. In that contingency, the job of the mayor is not to simply hire as many cops as possible to meet a quota. You can read the court’s decision, which will be appealed to the Minnesota Supreme Court, here—if you’re a big nerd.

Still Strikin’

The Minneapolis Federation of Teachers kicked off day five of their strike with a bang—well, with a flash (mob) and rally outside Minneapolis Public Schools HQ. The raucous unity rally, featuring Rep. Ilhan Omar as its featured speaker, comes after another weekend of unsuccessful negotiations between the union and the school district. Greta Callahan, president of the teacher chapter of MFT, says that the Board of Education has been stonewalling the union, the Board of Education is calling out the state for underfunding schools statewide, and the state… anybody heard from the state? Or former teacher Tim Walz? MFT has been firm on their biggest priority—increasing ESP pay from a $24,000 average to $35,000—along with a 20% increase in teachers pay and caps on class sizes. So far, though, no end in sight.

Time to Stare at Hockey Hair

John King, narrator/creator of the annually cherished “All-Hockey Hair Team” videos, teased retirement in 2019. But, like fellow supposedly retired greats Jay-Z and Lil Wayne and Tom Brady before him, the force behind YouTube channel Game On! Minnesota kept cranking out the hits, including 2020’s FLOWVID-19 edition, 2021’s Arby’s-sponsored vid, and even a special State Fair clip last summer. “We’re back in St. Paul, back on [Ch.] 45, there’s fans back in the building,” King begins in this year’s just-dropped video, voice dripping with North State accent. “And while there’s still supply-chain issues, there’s definitely no supply-mane issues.” From there, viewers are treated to the “Flowchella”-themed procession of greasy, flowing, trashy, and terrific teen hairdos from the 2022 Minnesota Boys High School Hockey State Tournament. We don’t need to gild the lily with our commentary—enjoy.