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Fists Fly at the Minneapolis-St. Brawl Airport

Plus a very special Smack Shack, Biden touts his own horn, and an introduction to Big Boy McCoy in today's Flyover.

Seriously, what is that? A garbage can lid?
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Fight or Flight: Why Not Both?

The holidays can be a stressful time to travel, and sometimes you just gotta beat the shit out of your fellow passengers when your plane touches down. (Disclaimer: Racket does not condone violence in any form against most people.) Two large groups of fliers on Frontier arriving from Orlando disembarked the hell out of each other at MSP Airport on Friday night, judging by this viral phone video. After close analysis of the recording, Racket notes that at least two shoes came loose, that the fracas was dying down until that fella in the jersey joined in, and that whatever that black hoop thing that one woman is swinging around is definitely more dangerous than 3.5 ounces of shampoo. “In addition to fisticuffs some of the individuals threw stanchions and broke chairs,” a representative for the Metropolitan Airports Commission tells Racket, adding that only minor injuries were reported and a police investigation into the incident remains open.

World’s First Drive-Thru Shake Shack Coming to Maple Grove

Look, Shake Shack’s rapid expansion to 450+ locations over the past five years has led to some claims of declining quality. But ya know what: A recent hangover episode was made so much better by housing a SmokeShack burger; the place, for the most part, still slaps. And, on Dec. 6, Maple Grove will make Shake Shack history by becoming home to the chain’s first drive-thru restaurant. The ongoing global pandemic hastened the company’s desire to add drive-thru service, according to Tuesday’s press release, and the new concept will involve two kitchens, both producing made-to-order burgers, dogs, chicken, and shakes—one dedicated to the dining room, one dedicated to vehicles. “We’ll be learning a lot from this location and will continue to optimize and adapt as we roll out [45-50] more of these formats next year,” CEO Randy Garutti says in a statement. (Click here to see renderings.) Shake Shack’s publicity department doesn’t pay us for ideas, so here’s a freebie: Get the world’s first “Thong Song” hitmaker, who happens to live in Maple Grove, to help celebrate this Shake Shack first. 

Rosemount, Minnesota! Are You Ready to Tout?

Though nowhere mentioned in the Constitution, one of the chief duties of the modern U.S. president is to tout. And in these divided times, our news media can agree on one thing: Joe Biden will be touting like hell in Minnesota today. “Biden scheduled to tout infrastructure plan in Rosemount,” an MPR News headline promises. The Strib agrees: “Biden will visit Minnesota to tout new infrastructure law.” The PiPress wants in on that sweet touting action too: “In first visit to Minnesota as president, Biden to tout $1T infrastructure package in Rosemount.” A model of restraint, KARE-11 waits until the second paragraph of its story on Biden’s visit to note that “the president will appear at Dakota County Technical College in Rosemount Tuesday afternoon to tout the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law.” OK, you get the point. (If there is one.) What about you, reader? Have you ever touted? As we said in the old days, sound off in the comments!

Jan Malcolm and Her “Very Large Horse”

Or so our pals at MinnPost report, and who are we to doubt them? Walker Orenstein and Greta Kaul dug into the financial disclosure records that public officials have filed with the state of Minnesota and turned up plenty of interesting discoveries—some politically pertinent, some just kind of odd. They found lots of stock holdings in big tech and mining companies. COVID truther, GOP gubernatorial candidate, and would-be eccentric Scott Jensen owns stock in Recombinetics, “a leader in livestock gene editing.” And Jan Malcolm, the state’s Department of Health commissioner, has a financial interest in Big Boy McCoy, a horse owned by her sister. Incidentally, ours is the only state that requires officials to declare “a horse racing interest.” Now that’s Minnesota exceptionalism.